It's the 27th of November so clearly not too early to discuss John Lewis and there shocking Elf miselling policies. John Lewis for gawds sake. What's the world coming to?!

[Honeydragon]

So, they got together with PNP to jump on the Xmas Elf bandwagon. Used in houses across the land to coerce small children into parental approved behaviour and shag Barbie in the dream house when said parents have hit the mulled wine early in the season and the children are in bed.

So I see the Elf and think awesome, not only is it less terrifying than the one that looks like the murder puppet in Magic that we have (seriously it looks like it should be hanging out with Anthony Hopkins), it's poseable. Not bad for twenty English pounds.

But I, EVER the Elf cynic, who has already surgically skeltised one Elf in their parenting life time read closer. And there in the tiniest italics ever are the words, Please note: this elf has a hard face and soft body.

Bastards. All their pictures show a bendy Elf ....but what you'll get is a grinning head and a flaccid useless body.

I expect better

Evidence

Either way... these elves are the creepiest thing I have ever seen. They will not be making an appearance in my home, so whilst I am not sure what your AIBU is, YADBU for even entertaining the possibility of purchasing one!

their

Its EYES! Look at its eyes!!

Well yes ....don't forget they are evil. They secretly work for team parent, rather than a benevolent Santa.

their

Oh, Lord. Here we go.

the festive studios is nicer, and it comes with its own engraved wooden box and a book for the kids to record what the elf did.

Don't know if im going to actively do the different thing every day, or just prop the elf somewhere as a decoration yet though, lol

thefestivestudio.com/product/elf-pixie-christmas-tradition-sale-unpersonalised-2016

its only £10 now, but you don't get the box engraved!

Eww that's creepy.

And a big to the grammar police.

Waitrose's is much nicer.

Are we supposed to take notice of grammatical corrections now? I usually ignore. Mistakes happen there's no edit facility and I have murderous flaccid elves to worry about....but if it makes someone feel good to correct me than that's fine. Spread the joy and all that

The Waitrose and Studio ones are too floppy for compromising positions though

could you attempt surgery a restuff an put some pipecleaners in the arms/legs?

I wired out current one. With florist wire looped over to prevent stabbing.

I think John Lewis should deliver a better class of Elf for £20 that one doesn't have to perform surgery on. Instead of a misrepresented boggle eyed one. The big fibbers.