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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you please to help me especially if you have older girls

52 replies

juicypineapple · 27/11/2016 01:52

DD has additional needs and has not been invited to a party since she was in reception. For the record she is not unkind or badly behaved she just spends a lot of time alone and although she has always had people she has played on and off with when younger of sorts she has never been close enough to anyone to be invited since whole class parties stopped.

Now 14 she has very very slowly but steadily become part of a group of children at school and for the first time actually seems to have proper friends although it is more she has been included and enveloped within a group of confident children who seem to have taken her on.

DD has got a party invitation from one of the teens in her friendship group. She is so excited bless her. The party is a roller disco. DD goes for comfort rather than style usually due to sensory issues and literally has nothing that isn't leggings or trainers or suitable for a party!

She is desperate to not look out of place and so wants me to ask what kind of things your teens would wear to a roller disco party.

I have name changed btw purely because I have discussed her past school issues, exh issues and health fairly extensively on Mumsnet and don't want it linked if someone recognises us in RL

TIA

OP posts:
cuckooplusone · 27/11/2016 08:17

My DD is 10, so a little younger, but had a roller disco party this year. Because of the disco lights, the venue encouraged them to wear white and neon as it showed up in the disco lights well. I got them neon wrist bands to wear.

Your DD may like to wear a white top if there are disco lights as it will look cool. Smile

WatchingFromTheWings · 27/11/2016 08:17

My 14yo DD lives in black leggings, vest/tshirt with shirt over the top, plimsoles/converse and a hoody. She'll be fine with leggings!

Fairylea · 27/11/2016 08:18

Meant to add, at that age I'd be surprised if anyone turned up in anything party-ish for a roller disco type thing. I think most would just turn up in jeans and probably a bit of make up.

My dd and her friends hire out nightclubs (!) for their parties for birthdays - (obviously highly supervised, just the kids from school etc, no alcohol obviously etc!) and that's where they'd dress up more. If it was that sort of thing they'd be wearing a dress from somewhere like New Look and some party type hair and shoes etc.

dancemom · 27/11/2016 08:20

Skinny jeans or black leggings here also

Cropped tshirt or vest and checked shirt with it

Adidas superstars

Suggest purchasing some neon face paint tubes? She could take them with her and share with the others at the disco?

MrsJayy · 27/11/2016 08:22

For a roller disco leggings and a nice top would be fine she doesn't want to be skating in a fancy frock anyway

GreenTureen · 27/11/2016 08:23

Leggings are ideal for skating, you need something to tuck easily into the boots or it's a right pain!

MrsJayy · 27/11/2016 08:26

Primatk skinny jeans are really popular Dd has sensory stuff going on and she wears them they are soft and comfy for her

JustSpeakSense · 27/11/2016 08:30

Mine would wear black leggings, probably with a checked shirt half buttoned with black vest underneath.

Or trendy Tshirt and her beloved jack wills hoodie.

Hope your DD has a lovely time

MohammedLover · 27/11/2016 08:40

Facepaint at 14, I would steer clear!

Hope she has a lovely time and that deep friendships can develop.

How confident is your DD at skating? Would she benefit from a practice session somewhere else first, it would also give her the chance to see what others are wearing?

I really like the idea of asking one of the girls to go shopping. I think people often get left out of friendships because they don't assume they already have the friendship like others do and thus instigate opportunities for further interaction much less often, if at all.

This is the nicest thread I have read in a while.

....Just wish I was going skating too now!

lljkk · 27/11/2016 08:43

can she skate? There will be a range of ability, but among girls, more will be fairly competent skaters than not. Would she like a practice session before, maybe a local sports hall runs one she could go to, hire skates there.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/11/2016 08:45

Jeggings sound good, but there are also some lovely Christmas or not jumpers in eg top shop, there's one with green stars that looks nice. h&m do jumpers with glittery pineapples etc.

Leg warmers if she wants to embrace 80s roller disco vibe.

She could easily wear the checked shirt, vest top and jeans combo too with maybe a waistcoat.

I second the suggestion of having a friend of hers come with you shopping.

MrsJayy · 27/11/2016 08:47

It's neon face paint the pp was on about the put it on so it shows up under the disco lights they are not going to be bunnies and butterflies Grin

Forgetmenotblue · 27/11/2016 08:49

Agree with everyone above.

Leggings, long vest top, bigger check shirt over the top, converse style shoes or uggs.

Party clothes as such don't seem to happen. Anything sparkly or pretty is deemed babyish.

Outfits often topped off with a beanie or bobble hat.

anyoldname76 · 27/11/2016 08:50

my dd15 lives in leggings, check shirts or hoodies and vans, hope your dd has a greatvtime at the party

EllaHen · 27/11/2016 08:57

My dd went to a roller disco party this summer. I'm sure she wore leggings and a nice t-shirt. She doesn't wear jeans and a dress just isn't appropriate.

The chance to wear mascara is where it's at.

Livelovebehappy · 27/11/2016 09:08

To be honest she will probably find the other girls will be swapping ideas of what they are going to wear. Teen girls always do this - consult each other before the party. I think probably for the same reasons as your DD, that they don't want to turn up looking different to anyone else. How lovely for your daughter - school and friends, especially for teen girls, can be a nightmare, so it's nice that she appears to have got herself a friendship group.

mathanxiety · 27/11/2016 09:10

My 15 yo DD wears leggings all day every day, and she has a selection of T-shirts and two check flannel shirts too, that she wears with a camisole top underneath. She has black Converse that go with the leggings. Also black ankle boots, black parka style jacket and a few scarves. Lots of black...

For parties, she wears what she wears all day every day, with maybe some mascara and lip gloss. Nothing fancy at all.

For a roller disco, if you're bringing her and if she's renting skates, bring a few different pairs of socks to try with the skates, and make sure her feet and ankles are comfortable in the rented skates. They can cause sore blisters if they rub against you wrong.

They can get quite sweaty with all the roller skating, so I recommend a t-shirt as a top.

I hope she'll have a lovely time with her friends Smile.

NeonPinkNails · 27/11/2016 09:21

So pleased for your DD, being 14 can be really tough :).

My DD (also 14) would dress much as others have suggested - leggings or skinny jeans, sweatshirt, hoody or checked shirt and Converse or Adidas Superstars. Wearing anything too dressed up would not be cool Grin. No need to spend a fortune either, Primark is your friend.

If she wants to make a bit of an effort a bit more make-up than usual (DD is a master of the eyeliner flick which I've never been able to do!) and false nails (hate them but all the girls seem to wear them) would be good but nothing she doesn't feel comfortable with.

Hope she has a great time :).

Hulababy · 27/11/2016 09:39

Dd is 14. For that kind of event she, and her friends, would be in jeans, t shirt and hoodie and wearing whatever the latest trainers they have to go there and back.

Dd would probably be in black skinny straight jeans, rolled up slightly. t shirt would be short sleeved, but could be a band, film/TV related, or from somewhere like super dry, Jack wills, Hollister, etc Hoodie would be slightly oversized and probably a similar brand. Then some fun bright character trainer socks you can just see and something like Addidas trainers. Hair tied back for skating most likely and make up.

Hulababy · 27/11/2016 09:40

And yes lots of tops come from Primark esp the ones with TV,film, music or characters in.

PossumInAPearTree · 27/11/2016 09:46

Jeggings or leggings.

The check shirts still seem quite popular, often with a vest top underneath so they can be buttoned only halfway up if that makes sense.

wifeyhun · 27/11/2016 09:49

My DD is 14 she mainly wears jeans and hoodies, cropped t-shirts with trainers. Same is worn for birthday events.

Hope you DD has a nice time.

juicypineapple · 28/11/2016 07:34

Thank you you are all brilliant. Primark trip in order I think. I had been eyeing up Primarks jeggings because they did feel super soft so will try those and have a look for a soft top without labels of doom 😂

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 28/11/2016 20:47

Keep her away from topshop. Your bank balance will thank you trust me.

MillionToOneChances · 28/11/2016 20:52

My 14 year old lives in leggings and tshirts. If yours hates scratchy labels, one of these might help - just remove them:

www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Stitch+ripper

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