To wonder if it's normal to find it all a bit mundane?.

[ricecrispies16]

You know.... same s**t, different day. Day in. Day out.

Same routines, same outlook. Never really getting anywhere.

Feel so lost and like I don't know which way to turn :(

It sounds like in reality lots of people find the task of mothering young children fairly mundane. I don't think people in RL often admit this. I think people also put on rose tinted glasses a bit when they look back and remember all the wonderful things (which there are too) but delete the 10000th poonami, the sleep fighting, the 500000th time they lob their beaker on the floor, the fussy eating, the colic howl, the reflux screech, the haemorrhoids and sore back, I think that all gets 'stored away' to some extent. But I take on board what people further down the parenting line than me say about missing it. I'm not saying I won't! Or at least that I won't miss elements of it. It's just right now it would be nice to finish writing this post without having yoghurt lobbed at me and I dream of going to the loo in peace just once

Fuck yes. Up at stupid o'clock. Fight over nappy. Make food clean up from food. Fill the day. Battle strops. Think about lunch make lunch clean up from lunch. Battle strops. Anything fun to do that will minimise strops and fill time costs money. Think about dinner make dinner clean up from dinner. Fuck all of it gets eaten. Nappy battles, bedtime battles. Tidy up collapse on sofa go to bed early because the next identical morning rolls around far too soon.

Rice I also used to take lots of pride in my appearance but now look like a 'bag of shite'. It gets me down as not really how I consider myself if you see what I mean. It's such an adjustment and your choices to focus on certain things are taken out of your hands because there just isn't the time/energy anymore.

Definitely look into a course, have you considered the Open University? Even if you just plan to do it in the future, it's something to focus on, something for you. It sounds like if you were thinking about uni before that's where you'll be heading. Good luck x X

Completely agree. 3yr old and 5 week old. Doing my best to keep busy and make plans for as many days as I can with friends on mat/shift work but there far too many 'routine days'. Doesn't help that 3 yr old obsessed with blaze and paw patrol so feel like u could recite these in my sleep (ha as if I've slept for more than 4 hrs a night since baby came! ). Essentially you are not alone and I know it will get easier... just not always easy to see that when you are putting away clothes, washing up again for what seems like the 100th time that day!

I agree with missgranny too that if the baby stage is the one you struggle with, long term, you're winning. They're not babies for long. It just feels like forever if you're not a baby person (I wasn't). As they get older you'll have way more fun together. You sound like someone who loves to try new things and be active and entertained. So do children. Even teens do too, if you work on having stuff in common and pitch it right.

You'll be fine.

But it is a wake up call for now. Can you at least get someone to take care of the baby while you get a new hair cut or go out and buy new clothes? Can you get them into a napping routine and use that time for yourself. (Sod housework) The saving grace of my babies was that they napped with military precision. I knew I'd get two hours every afternoon.