To say I'd prefer it if he stayed in

[BooeyBubbleHead]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant, in a fair amount of discomfort with sciatica, acid reflux and round ligament pains. My DD1 was born healthy at 37+3 due to incompetent cervix. I also have an unrelated health condition that could lead to an early birth (I have consultant led care).

DH & his best mate have form for going OTT on drink when they go out together (which isn't often these days, to be fair), resulting in DH's extreme 2 day hangovers that eliminate him from taking part in family life.

He works very long hours all over the country so he is often home late or stays away from home. This week he came home pissed on one occasion (train journey - no driving), and we had a conversation about him not drinking from that point until baby arrives (so he can drive me to hospital/get himself to hospital). He was in agreement with this but said he may arrange to meet his mate for a lunchtime pint at the weekend (I was skeptical about this but said this would be ok if it was just a pint - experience tells me it wouldn't be though).

Yesterday he announced that he would be going on one last "blow out" with his best mate on Sat night before he "makes the sacrifice" of going on s drink ban.

I went off on one and told him I'd prefer him to a. Be sober ready for baby's arrival and b. Avoid hangovers so I can get some help with DD, now that I am really uncomfortable and fatigued. He has agreed. But now I feel bad, and I know his friend will be accusing me of being selfish.

WIBU to say no?

It's so sad that you have to ask him not to to be honest.. you'd think he'd want to be on hand getting ready to support you over the next few weeks. I don't know what the answer is as you are about to have a baby but YANBU and he sounds very selfish.

You have no reason to feel remotely guilty. It's your last few days and weeks with your oldest child as an "only". Get out and do something nice as a family if the sciatica permits.

And he needs to find a way to say no to this bully, as this problem won't go away. He needs to take the banter bullying on the chin. Dh had it out with his mate one night. It's calmed down a bit but he still gets called names but he rides it out. As a pp said, we've come to realise his wife must hate him and actually wants him out the house every night. We think they have an 'arrangement' rather than a family unit.

Friend sounds like an extremely immature twat. Your DH needs to grow up a bit, too. There comes a time when you have to realise that, actually, getting smashed and having a two day hangover isn't either clever or enjoyable.

Don't they say yihi can judge a man by the company he keeps.

They sound like a pair of gobshites.

I'd tell him to go out on his last blowout and stay the fuck away until he's sober and prepared to step up to the realities of having a family and a heavily pregnant wife. And meanwhile I'd be looking for a new birth partner.

YANB even slightly U. DP gave up drinking when I was 37 weeks, as did all the other blokes I know! It's quite irresponsible to not in my opinion, and hardly the sacrifice of the century!

You shouldn't have to ask him not to do this.
We have a friend who is similar- generally disrespectful of me, talks about my husband being under the thumb, generally disrespectful of all women. What has happened is that we see him less and less and have less contact with him, he used to be my husband's best friend, so has cut off his nose to spite his face really.

He sounds like a complete moron to me.

I'm due on Tuesday!!!! It's crap isn't it. DH said something similar(ish) last week and I was too exhausted to argue. I just said he's a grown up and if that's what he wanted to do then fine but I would make alternative arrangements to get to hospital (ask my Mum) and I wouldn't want him there for the birth. Left that with him and he suddenly decided it wasn't such a great idea.

Might be worth a try?

YANBU

Surely the "one last blow out" would've been before any children were on the scene? Doesn't really count if there's already a child in the family, then it's "just another blow out".

Fwiw one last blowout is ridiculously childish and IMO disrespectful to the mother who has been doing and is about to do even more hard work.

That's how I felt Bloobleep. He is supposedly making this HUGE sacrifice by not drinking for a few weeks, while I muddle through every day feeling like shite!

I know he's not going, but I'm hurt just by the fact he seriously considered it and suggested it!

YANBU. I asked my DH to stay sober for a few weeks before baby was due (so he could drive me to hospital if needed). I would have thought that was pretty standard.

YABU for asking him and not divorcing him. If I had to ask my partner to do something most people who see as common sense I would seriously consider why I married them.

My husband has ensured he's only had one drink in his system so he can drive from around 35 weeks, I didn't have to ask him to do this he just decided himself. He had his last night out around 34 weeks and im sure will wet the baby's head but he will ask me if I feel ready to be left alone with the baby before he does. Think you need to have a word with your husband 37 weeks is not the time to go out on a bender

surely at 37 weeks pregnant there is always a high chance of twinges that may or may not end in labour

Didn't he have his 'one last blow out' before last DC was born?

Hasn't he been out on a few since then?

It is a bullshit excuse to get pissed.

Point that out to him.

YANBU. I asked my DH to stay sober for a few weeks before baby was due (so he could drive me to hospital if needed). I would have thought that was pretty standard.

I don't know anyone in RL that would have had to have asked that of their partner.
But then I don't (and didn't) know anyone that drank that regularly to that excess.

Nanny0gg: You don't know anyone who would have had more than one beer in 3 weeks?

My DH did have to be asked but mainly because it hasn't occurred to him. As soon as I told him he was like, "Oh yes, of course."

YANBU, and dont you dare start second guessing yourself.

The OP specified sober although I appreciate that more than one pint puts you over the limit.

Two or three pints you'd still be some use in the delivery room, if you'd got there by some other means. Drunk, not so much.

And no, my friends' husbands seemed to be the sensible sort at that stage of their wives' pregnancy.