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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to go on hols with in-laws again...

9 replies

procrastimater · 15/02/2007 10:16

ok so my in-laws are lovely people and very generous - my hubby is their only child so all attn. is focused on him and our 2 children - as their only grandchildren. I on the other hand come from a huge family with 14 grandchildren so far and 3 sibs still to breed - and no one has any money obviously!

In-laws are in Canaries at the mo. and are having such a lovely holiday that they have booked another holiday for this year but this time incl. us... I have been looking at the details of the resort it is one of those pristine places with all inclusive on site activities and I can't stand it!!!! The main tour operator is saga which doesn't shout family friendly to me. and i sound like a right snobby bitch but i am pretty sure i will hate the experience (my fav holiday ever was a week in florence spent wandering aimlessly pre children of course) and spend the entire time chasing after my 2.5 yo and 10mo making sure they aren't drowning in the pools or falling down the big stone staircases!!

All i wanted to do this year is go to visit my bro and his family in the channels islands and am saving up for the flights - I haven't seen my new neice yet and she is 1... hubby has been insistant that I save up the money before booking etc. and he won't be coming so I would have my mum with me - yet I know he will be up for going on this hol and his parents will be paying for flights and accomm. I feel a sense of injustice - I have moved to an area close to his parents and we see them every other weekend. While i see my mum regularly I have a v spread out family and don't get many opportunities to see them and feel mats parents can buy our time while everyone else has to wait - thats incoherent probably but my head is all over the place.

We went on holiday to portugal with them 18m ago when I was in early stages of preg with dd and ds was 1 - I felt like poo was hormonal and grumpy it was too hot and the accomm was a toddler death trap - so I vowed never again. But how do I say no to such a generous offer??? Please advice... if you haven't died of old age reading this ...

OP posts:
Carmenere · 15/02/2007 10:19

Is dh suggesting that you give up your channel Island trip?

WriggleJiggle · 15/02/2007 10:25

I sympathise with you. Its not something many people would choose to do. However,
Firstly, check out the suggested place. Although is sounds quite horrendous (I'm with you on the all inclusive resort thing), the advantages of such a place are that the accommodation is probably up to scratch, and they possibly have a childrens club?
If PIL's see it as 'bonding' time with their grand children then encourage that. I'm sure they would love to look after the little ones each day, give you a bit of time with dh child free?

It does sound awful but I think it is the type of holiday that might just work, if you approach them in the right way.

I wonder if there are any adventurous type places to visit nearby that they wouldn't feel like going to? I'm sure you've always wanted to visit that

procrastimater · 15/02/2007 10:31

Carmanere - I am not sure what will happen about the Ch Islands - I don't think dh would dare stop me but money is tight and i can see difficult decisions coming up...

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 15/02/2007 10:36

Hi

Why is DH not going with you to the Channel Islands?

My IL's go on holidays a few times a year. We had 2 children, their only grandchildren. They are always asking us to go on hols with them, just for one week of their fortnight there. They say they will look after the kids & dh & I can go out & enjoy ourselves... I know this would never happen though, as MIL & FIL could party & drink me under the table any day!!

I have to say though, if you do tend to get on OK, I would really check out the hotel, make sure everything will be just so for the kids etc... And go But make sure it's not at the expense of your Channel Island holiday!!!

procrastimater · 15/02/2007 10:46

That all sounds very sensible - thanks - I want to go for the sake of 'the family' but i think i am getting to overload with 'doing things for the family' and the evil side of me wants to say no... but good will triumph over evil!!

DH probably will want to go on hols with his parents out of love for them rather than a eagerness to go on his part - he doesn't want to go to ch islands as he finds my eccentric brother (he has an artistic temperment) a bit much to deal with and he is able to hid behind the expense as a reason not to go...

OP posts:
procrastimater · 15/02/2007 11:07

or can i just send dh and ds...?

OP posts:
Tortington · 15/02/2007 11:10

yes yes. book ho0lidays at same time with a firm " shut yer gob" to your dh and a " i'm so sorry for the confusion" to PIL. then feck off to channel islands alone!

procrastimater · 13/03/2007 23:03

so today I have booked flights etc to Alderney and I will be visting my brother next month - Huzzah!

In-laws have booked holiday in canaries next year - we will all go and I will stop being ungrateful - have checked out resort - is child friendly - still not going to be my cup of tea but will not be ungrateful daughter-in-law (next years resolution sorted)- so it is possible for everyone to get what they want sometimes

OP posts:
Lanawashington · 02/08/2022 09:15

@xxAbbieC I imagine OP did stand her ground 15 years ago when she posted in 2007....

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