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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move 11 year old to a different school

29 replies

SarahJane333 · 25/11/2016 08:47

My dd moved up to the 'feeder' school of her primary in September. Both are private schools - this is relevant. I didn't look around any others as this sschool looked great, nice staff, happy children, good results and so on plus I was led to believe most of the other children would move up so the transition would be nice for her. Turns out about half of the children left to go to other schools, including her best friend. She has a handful of friends but non on her firm class. Last weekend there was a party and every girl in her form class was invited except her. She was a bit upset but has friends in different form classes and overall is happy with school and doesn't really want to move.

Turns out that another school (also private) is a similar distance away from our house - just in a different direction. I've had a look around and it looked great, an older building with more character so it did seem a little fun down compared to her current school, the children looked happy, results are similar to where she's currently at and the fees are 4K a year cheaper!! We have 4 children and in a few years 3 of them will all be at secondary together, so will obviously save us a fortune.

Dd is worried about moving after just starting a new school and I definitely sympathise but it would seem that she hasn't fitted too well into her current form class anyway and perhaps this school might be a better fit. Would it be unfair to move her at the end of this term? I think she would settle quickly and the school did look nice.

OP posts:
PhilODox · 25/11/2016 10:51

Momma- absolutely not! My children are very different from one another, I fully expect them to be in different schools.

titchy · 25/11/2016 11:05

Only on MN would a saving of £112 K be a flake reason to move schools...

Well if you'd bothered to read the rest of my post you'd see I suggested putting the youngest three into the cheaper secondary so there would still be a substantial saving to be made (£84k in fact).

But to move a child from a school you are happy with and they are happy with because you've just discovered a cheaper alternative, having not done any due diligence, is massively unreasonable.

Colby43443 · 25/11/2016 11:51

Why didn't you research more thoroughly in the first place? She will find it horrible moving now and even more difficult to make friends as most friendships would already have been made. It's far better to keep your dd where she is, encourage her to develop social skills to make new friendships, sign her up for extra classes so she has more in common with the other pupils. The financial savings are not insignificant but I presume as you send her to private school that the financials aren't the main concern here.

FreshHorizons · 25/11/2016 23:36

You made the decision. I would stick with it and encourage friendships.

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