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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask you wwyd?

9 replies

marvelousdcomics · 24/11/2016 19:35

This is for my friend (dd's gf's mum).

Dd's gf (16) has repeatedly asked her mum for top surgery and a hysterectomy in the future. She has extreme dysphoria because of these - crying, screaming, shouting, hurting herself etc. However, she is insistent she IS a girl, but just doesn't want periods or breasts. Friend doesn't want to take dds gf to a gender clinic, as she has no problem identifying as a girl, although she is booked in for a gp app 2 weeks away.

Wwyd? It is a bit of a weird situation, granted, but we're both stuck.

OP posts:
frumpet · 24/11/2016 19:42

At 16 I imagine that she has had periods and breasts for a while now , has she always had such an extreme reaction to them or is this something new ?

TitaniasCloset · 24/11/2016 19:44

I think the poor girl needs to be reffered to s really good psychologist for long term therapy and possibly get some medication too. I would be very wary of this being pushed down the gender identity route too. I think that will make her feel worse long term. There are psychiatric disorders where the patient has problems accepting their body. In the meantime be very patient with her and make sure the gp or psych team are getting the full picture.

OohhThatsMe · 24/11/2016 19:46

I agree with TitaniasCloset - she needs some psychiatric help urgently.

TitaniasCloset · 24/11/2016 19:46

I wonder if there has been some sort of sexual trauma or if its guilt about her sexuality.

marvelousdcomics · 24/11/2016 19:46

Always hated her body since puberty (just after turning 12). Never had ED's or anything, and doesn't mind her hips. Thank you for replies

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 24/11/2016 19:48

I would recommend caution and extensive counselling before doing anything permanent. Id expect any half decent doctor would say the same. It's serious surgery and should not be undertaken except for medical reasons or extremely exceptional circumstances.

Some contraceptive pills may stop periods (cerezete/cerelle for one) for many but not for everyone. I appreciate she's in a f/f relationship but I take the pill solely to stop my periods (once upon a time it was for contraception, I just keep going because I like avoiding the hassle).

APlaceOnTheCouch · 24/11/2016 19:49

If she has had these issues for 4 years, why is she only seeing her GP now? Regardless, I think the GP would be better placed to advise her than strangers on the internet.

Bluntness100 · 24/11/2016 19:50

Clearly she needs psychiatric help. You yourself state she has extreme dysphoria.

It seems she doesn't want to be an adult female or have signs of female sexuality, none of us know what has caused this, but clearly it's abnormal. I'm unsure why the mother has waited so long or why her spot isn't for another two weeks if the girl is this traumatised.

IAmNotACat · 24/11/2016 23:33

Hmm. Is it dysphoria or could she be afraid of cancer (has been a lot in the news about having these surgeries prophylacticaly) and doesn't want to say that? either way, the girl should be talking to a psychiatrist.

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