To call social services?

[Latetotheparty26]

DD's friend from nursery (19 months old), got picked up by both parents yesterday I saw mum get in the back of the car and she placed their child on the floor between her legs and dad drove off. No car seat, nothing. I was gobsmacked that ppl could do that, with no regard for her safety!
I told the Nursery manager this morning who called social services and the police. Both services told her that because she didn't witness the incident, they couldn't do anything about it! So - should I call them? Or should I confront them myself when I see them next?

I haven't moved to the country yet the government still don't interfere with my parenting. Is this something I need to be worried about? Should I get the best China out ready for a visit from government hevvy's at any given moment?

You have a duty of care to the child to report it. It might not seem like a big deal or may appear as a one off but who knows what sort of records the SS or police already have on this family and therefore all incidents need logging. They all add to the bigger picture

Perhaps best bet is for Nursery manager to talk to the parents and come up with something like

"One of our staff saw your child in a bad position in the car which is illegal and we have a statutory duty to act on that. Rather then make a lot of fuss and convictions and points and for the child's safety for all concerned please can you get an approved child car seat and use it"

And probably add can we see it fitted or similar.

People can be bloody stupid in and using cars. I remember years ago now when seat belt use was being made compulsory, there were a lot of bar room experts who insisted that you were much safer being thrown out of the car in a crash;!.

Yeah right!

There were similar problems at my sons nursery, the nursery manager confronted the parents (and was told to get lost) she contacted the police who said they couldn't do much unless it happened when they were there and then they refused to come at pick up time on a subsequent day. I'm not sure how you deal with it effectively as it's clearly a mad thing not to use a car seat? But yes, I do think you should call social services.

I would leave it with the nursery as you did. The police and the nursery both have a record. The police would have called you if they thought it needed further investigation. I think it's probable they spoke to the parents and gave them an unofficial warning so it might be enough already to make them think about using a baby seat next time.

Social worker here! Definitely right to report, like another poster said, it may add to a bigger picture. For those wondering whether ss would actually do anything, in my area (sky high thresholds), the answer is no, the call wouldn't even make it to us, it would be screened out but logged.

I'm a sw, and I can't answer honestly whether ss will follow this up or not. However my colleague always has an answer when people say 'well how do we know whether to report or not'. She says if it stick out in your mind then chances are you should report it. Nothing wrong with leaning on the side of precaution. Report it, if ss don't think it's important enough to follow up on they won't. It's their job to work out what's significant and what isn't, not yours.

I'd report it.

They can't do much when there's no proof, but it might be part of a bigger picture if others report concerns in future, or have done so already.

If it's a one-off and they're usually adequate parents, there won't be serious consequences over one report from an eyewitness. But honestly, I suspect that parents who do that are failing in other ways, and on more than one occasion, and if everyone reports serious failings like this, maybe a few children's lives will be saved, and a few more will have much better lives.

You did the right thing when you saw this, and I think the right thing now is to follow up with a direct call to SO.Services. And although I'm usually a just-talk-directly-to-them kind of woman, in this instance I really wouldn't approach the parents.

I think I would OP especially if it would put my mind at rest even if its just to have on file since you were the one to witness it.

I asked myself this question to myself the other day on the school run, a car pulled up a fair distance away to let people cross but I wasnt in the position to cross so waited, as did several others. As they drove past there was a tiny new born baby in the front passenger seat either in mothers arms or in a sling and as they pulled to a stop to join the main road the mother jolted forwards we all gasped then they drove off. I did a double take as did my friend and another mum said loudly did anyone else see that?! That tiny baby?!

There seems to be a lot of bumps and accidents that happens at drop off and collection at school in our area because its on a bus route buses are every 10mins its busy, hectic and people are rushing about.

As parents we have a duty of care to our children and to ensure their safety, here in the uk it is the law and thousands of children are killed or injured every year in car incidents and many of could have been prevented if children travelled in the appropriate seats that are securely fitted.

I wouldn't call as it has nothing to do with me, footwell I would expect is safer than unsecured on the seat

Ridiculous, neither of those situations are safe for the child. A young child needs a car seat when travelling in a car (apart from the law about taxis yada yada).

Def call SS or at the very least 101 with their reg number.

I'm with User on this, yes, its totally idiotic and something I would never dream of doing myself, but ultimately none of my business.

People (and the State) are way too involved in the lives of individuals. Some people do stupid and dangerous things, I think we should just accept that rather than legislate for every possible eventuality that might potentially result in harm.

We are handing our right to privacy over with every petty law that is passed and nobody really seems to notice. Very worrying.

I think we should just accept that

Yeah lets just accept that a child's life is in very real danger.

The parents clearly aren't concerned with their child's safety, so someone else needs to be. Car seat laws aren't petty, they actually save lives.

" I think we should just accept it"

Are you being serious? So say they crashed and that poor child lost his/her life, you'd be happy to just go " oh well, I have to accept that" despite the fact you could have potentially done something by alerting authorities ?

No I'm sorry, I'd never forgive myself if I didn't atleast have it logged :(

What a stupid comment

101 and report to the police. I've had to pick up the pieces when a friend (emergency services worker) developed ptsd off the back of dealing with a fatal road accident involving an unrestrained child, by all accounts it was very very unpleasant. It's not just about the child it's the emergency services who have to resolve the mess that I'm concerned about

Yes people do stupid things, but when they do those stupid things with a child who has no say that's when the state becomes involved and rightly so.

I'm guessing User147145 is posting from the USA where people move to remote areas to escape what they perceive as government interference. The OP is, I assume, British and seatbelt laws are the same everywhere. As the nursery have told you the police can only act if the person who witnessed the event reports, I wouldn't hesitate if I were you, OP. I'd be thinking how I'd feel if there was an accident and I hadn't reported.

I find the weird and wonderful world of American preppers and survivalists fascinating. Not that I'm suggesting User147145 is one, just that they too move to remote areas to get off grid.

Hi all OP here. Yes I'm in the UK.
I reported it to Social Services. They were great, asked me various questions and said they would contact the nursery manager for the child's full details (as nursery can't give that info to me because of DPA) so I'm just waiting to see what happens but today is the first day the child will be at nursery with my child since it happened and so, I may see the parents again at pick up this afternoon.
I hope something is done to protect the child. Thanks for all your advice and some...interesting opinions!

why don't you ask the nursery to ask the parents for " proof they have a car seat as a parent has expressed their concern over they they saw?"

they should get the hint then

Why can't posters just pick a bloody username rather than the generic one you get given at registering!

You did the right thing.

I now understand how Trump was elected too.

I don't understand why, when SS and police said they couldn't do anything as manager had not witnessed it, why they didn't then ask for the person who did witness it aka you. And then come to your house for details?
That's surely the correct way to follow up an allegation.

In my experience SS wouldn't even do anything! Perhaps it's just my area and they're too busy but I reported a 14 year old having a sexual relationship with a 23 year old and nothing has been done! I also reported a 6 year old severely autistic boy escaping at 2am, completely naked and managing to get 4 miles away without his mum noticing because she's permanent high on crack, again nothing was done! So I can only imagine what they'd do about a child with no seat!

Anyway, if it's a one off emergency you're allowed a child without the correct seat in the car. Although obviously not in the footwell!

I would not call social services or confront the parents, yes what they did was wrong but it is not exactly abuse!

Neglect is abuse

Read the OP's update, people! She did the right thing and her concerns were taken seriously

'I now understand how Trump was elected too.'

I see where you're coming from!