To think these people are really spoilt?

[user1440853712]

I was at uni and sat with some people that I normally sit with. I call one of them a friend but the other two I don't see them as such. These other two people were talking about their birthdays and this is what I heard. For the girl, on her 16th and 18th birthdays she received £2,000 from her grandmother, but on a normal birthday she "only gets £150". And I have heard that the other person has two cars, one vintage and one normal, as well as receiving £3000 for his birthday. He is 18 years old, to me that is very spoilt, as well as the girl basically saying £150 isn't a lot. I get around £30/40 from my grandparents for birthdays, my parents never bought me a car let alone two. Is it just me or does anyone else think these two people are spoilt? When they get a taste of the real world I think they won't know what's hit them. They both still live at home with their parents, god help them when they have their own places. When I was 18 last year I had no spare money because of my rent costing so much and I had to get an overdraft because of it and so I am now in debt. This has annoyed me slightly, they seem to take everything for granted and don't seem grateful for anything. Sorry for the long rant haha

I wouldnt say spoilt.

It all depends on the world your from doesn't it?
For a wealthy family 2k/3k is not a lot of money

In life no matter how much you have I am afraid someone always has more, better to accept that while you are young

It's all relative, some people have more money and possessions so what they do have is a smaller percentage of their wealth, and not viewed as a big deal to them, and for others who have less it's an extravegance.

I've spent £400 on a figure that I don't need, but wanted, whereas for some people that's over a months worth of groceries. Why? Because I can, doesn't mean I go gloating about it to everyone I talk to, I'm only using it in here as an example.

I agree though that it isn't very tactful if that's all they talk about. I very rarely talk about how much I spend on frivolaties to other people because I know my audience.

Some people have more than others, some people have less. That's life. 'Spoilt' isn't how much they have, it's their attitude towards it.
My dad bought me a car (and then upgraded it). I am very very lucky. Spoilt? I don't think so, as I'm also very grateful, and appreciate what I have.

I think at university you meet an awful lot of people whose personal circumstances are very different to your own, and in some universities an awful lot of privileged students.

More often than not, students go to school and sixth form with people from a similar background. Once you get to university you can find yourself surrounded by the rest of the world, quite literally.

DD went to a northern comprehensive school, most kids were from similar backgrounds, had the same accents, spoke the same first language, were the same colour and lived in similar housing.

She is now at university, her course is a mixture of students with vastly differing ages, ethnicities, geographical homes, first languages, types of education and parental careers.

I wouldn't agree these students were necessarily spoilt, just possibly from a different background. University is fabulous for broadening your perception of other people.

When they get a taste of the real world I think they won't know what's hit them

Possibly, possibly not, if they are privileged they are fairly likely to remain that way.

Since they were talking to each other and they both seem to have similar lifestyles then I guess it wasn't really so crass.

It would be crass of them to bleat about the money and the cars to others because at 18 they should know that most people do not have those things at such a young age.

When they get a taste of the real world I think they won't know what's hit them

Getting a taste of the real world means understanding that some people have a lot more than others.

I only ever got £5/£10 from my grandparents for my birthdays. Does that make you the spoilt one, seeing as you get £30/£40? No. Families have different financial circumstances and that's something that will never change.

Parents will give their children whatever value gifts they want because they can. These particular 'children' don't seem to have grasped how to be humble about their money yet but that normally comes with age. I don't know many teenagers who came from more affluent families and didn't brag about it, because that's what teenagers do. Also, you saying they'll be in for a shock when their parents cut the apron strings... that's if they ever do. Moving out and getting your own place doesn't mean your parents will cut you off.

I know it's irritating to hear that there are people out there getting financial assistance whilst you're getting into debt. The same thing happened to me and although I was jealous of them I was always proud that I achieved as much as they did without any help. Paying my own way is and always has been my badge of honour and coping mechanism for financial jealousy.

OP, chances are this guy will continue getting lots of support from parents even when he is in the 'real world'. Don't be surprised if he gets a house bought for him when he leaves uni. Better get used to it now otherwise jealousy can really get you down.

What goofy said. You sound rather jealous and bitter........

Getting a taste of the real world means understanding that some people have a lot more than others.

My sister and BiL were extremely wealthy. They raised two of the most generous, unselfish, kind, and honest people you'd ever want to know. And they raised them in a life of privilege and plenty.

You need to grow up and realize that character has nothing to do with how many possessions you own or how big your bank account is.

Going away to uni often means you come in to contact with a much wider range of people than you would have known at school of work. I know it's hard when you're struggling financially and they seem to be oblivious to their good fortune, but they haven't done anything wrong (and nor have you).
Perhaps they envy your independence and maturity?
All you can do is focus on your own situation. The only life you have to live is your own.
A word of caution, don't be tempted to match them in terms of spending.
The bottom line is that if they judged you according to how much money you had they wouldn't be very nice people. It works the other way round too. Try getting to know them a bit better ?

There will always be people with more or less than you. Everyone thinks their experience defines normal, but it doesn't. Someone else might think of you as spoilt for being given £40 - that's a lot for some people. Others will think nothing of £5k as a gift. As others have said, it's all relative. And I'm sure if someone gave you a car you wouldn't a) give it back, or b) not tell your friends.

You sound very young and this is something you'll have to get used to.

You're going to go through your whole life seeing people have more than you.

Don't tie yourself up in knots with envy.

We have friends that go on holiday to lovely places (we only ever get to go back to the UK) and have far nicer houses/ cars. I'll say "wow I'm so envious of your posh beach holiday!" and that'll be it. I'm pleased that they have things that make them happy and would hope they feel the same about me when we get something nice!

It's all relative. You want more? Work hard for it and the satisfaction will be all the greater for having gotten it yourself.

Just realised I've rehashed what pretty much everyone else has said.

Also, dh gets fuck all from his parents. We get absolutely zero help and not that much for birthdays/Xmas. His sister is given everything. At 30 her and her husband and daughter still live at home, have all their bills paid for and are having a house built for them as 'she doesn't want to have a mortgage'. Her dd is wearing all new Mini Boden and other posh threads. Our ds wears pretty much every single thing second hand.

It could boil our piss and drive dh in to therapy but we don't let it. We are happy and dsil is utterly miserably. Being spoilt doesn't bring you joy. But neither doesn't coveting other's fortune.

meh. When I was 18 all my grandparents and 50% of my parents were dead. My Dad was an alcoholic and I spent much of my teenage years sofa surfing and shacking up with unsuitable 'partners' for a week or so at a time. The concept of being able to afford rent or being able to open a bank account with an overdraft facility sounds lie a ridiculous over indulgence. After my Dad died my relationship with my mother became much easier. I went to uni (grants in those days) and have a pretty stable life. I will support my children through education and pay for driving lessons and cars. I'm happy I am in a position to do it but my children are not spoiled brats, or judgemental about other peoples circumstances. What do you want these supported teenagers to do? Give it all to the poor minus the expense of a hair shirt?

My husbands family are ridiculously wealthy - all from their careers though, they started off piss poor like me. Lawyers/investment banker/subsea engineer (DH). My DH hasn't had a penny off them since before he started uni. They said if we hand you money, you won't have the drive to make the money yourself. Hes still paying back student loans, but quickly. He made over £100k at 28 years old. I guess one thing his parents did for their kids was private education but they were out on their own after that. Now I do know some local brats who at 28 still drive their dad's Porches, and snort coke all week long because they apparently don't need a job. It can go anyway I suppose, depends on the parenting.

*porsches - had to look that up then

You get £40 from your grandparents??

Mid century I got fuck all from my parents after I was thrown out of home at age 16. I will support ds when I can. Need to learn to find the good balance between supported and having too big a safety net.

What difference does it make to you?

OP you sound very jealous and bitter; please don't spend time worry about other peoples lives, it's not good for your health.

Why does it matter if they are spoiled?

They might be. They might not be. What impact does it have on you either way?

Why does this bother you?