To not worry that 3.5 yo DS is classed as speech delayed?

[Olympiathequeen]

He was early to walk (10mo) and runs, jumps and is very active. He also signed from 18 months (supposed to encourage speech) but his speech is very unclear and most words begin with g and d. We understand most of what he says but apparently he doesn't say anything in nursery. He chats to my friends and they all say he has improved.

He understands everything, is sociable, explains things to us in long, intricate not very clear sentences, loves books, and is interested in how everything works. He's also very shy at times.

Nursery teacher asked if we want to attend a speech and language session which I know is aimed at autism spectrum disorders (went with a friend) and I don't feel will help DS.

I have so far refused to worry about this as to me it's not a soeech and language delay but an articulation (which is a physical thing) delay. Pretty sure there is no tongue tie by the way but will ask HV.

Aibu to not worry well not until now?

Ds was missed by salt stuff until he was at school and the delay had a massive impact on him in reception.

It could be the sessions are different anyway as tailored to the type of need

OP, my daughter had speech therapy just before she turned 4.

It amazed me, completely blew me away, just how quickly she improved, and how much she wanted to work with and impress her SALT. All the things I'd tried to get her to do for months before, in one term, she managed.

It's the simplest things; asking a question instead of offering a correction, how they describe how certain sounds feel in your throat, how your tongue moves, that makes the world of difference.

I'm unbelievably grateful for having this help for my daughter - FREE - thanks to the NHS. Without it she would have gone to school being unable to say the word school. Your son sounds like he has quite serious pronunciation issues compared to DD, so I can't understand for a single second why you'd deny him access to better language skills.

I would be doing everything possible to help along his speach - there is a real danger that if he starts school and people struggle to understand him this will really harm his confidence

Sorry if you've mentioned this already but do get his hearing tested if not done recently. My brother had very unclear speech at that age and turned out to have glue ear. Grommets made a big difference to his speech.

Mine has been having SALT since he was 2, for both speech and language (he has AS and dyspraxia). Before he was statemented he used to get a block of SALT therapy every summer, which for articulation we would follow on with at home for a few months till that sound improved, one sleech sound at a time. It was really noticeable that whatever we actively worked on improved, the sounds we were leaving till next time did not improve noticeably of their own accord. I had to push hard for that SALT, I'm so glad I did now.

I refuse to correct him when he says things 'wrong' because I feel that will affect his confidence (told to do this by an auntie)

Surely you just model the correct response back at them as part of a conversion rather than correct? If so that's never affect my Children's confidence.

I can't think of a good example - but you repeat the sentences back at them. I didn't know they ask for a red crayon - did you say you wanted a crayon - which one red green blue - you say the words correctly back at them try and prompt them them to have a go saying the words again but as apart of a conversation rather than pointing out a word is wrong and insisted they keep trying to say it correctly.

Glad you're going along OP. It can't hurt.

I think maybe you are a little worried or know it's a potentially larger problem and are burying your head in the sand. Go with an open mind and you may be impressed.

You absolutely should correct him. Not saying 'stop, that was wrong' but (and excuse the terrible example) something like below. A good SLT will educate parents as much as their students.

child: 'I wun and wun.''

adult: 'oh, you ran and ran, did you?' with slight emphasis on on /r/

As others said, SLT can help with physical issues such as a lisp.

You're right, children may manage to catch up with their peers without intervention but I suspect that many would learn to read and write eventually without attending school. I goes against the MN grain but trust the professionals!

I'm interested to know your impressions after the first few sessions so please post back.

I'm not an SLT but am in education.

Why do you think a March born child is young in the year? If you are in the U.K. They will be with kids born until 31st August! Which I was btw!

Our SALT would use this model:

DD: My name is Farah
SALT: Oh, did you mean Farah or did you mean Sarah?
DD: Sarah

It showed us that she could make the correct sound, but was substituting the wrong sound, and let her correct herself without feeling like she was in trouble, or wrong.

I'd also take up the offer, but I can understand where you're coming from. We weren't too worried when DS had a slight speech delay, most of his words started with P and T (eg; Father Christmas was Parder Twissmas, phone was Pone) but we could understand him and thought it was just because he was little and he'd grow out of it, like his older brother did.

But when he started reception, just after his 4th birthday, his teacher was straight on it, they provided speech therapy at school and he improved really quickly. He was left with a slight lisp (three was 'free') but he grew out of that and his speech is great now.

I refuse to correct him when he says things 'wrong' because I feel that will affect his confidence

Understandable but misguided on my opinion. How else is he meant to learn? Every child needs to learn to take correction because every child gets things wrong - it's normal. I wouldn't worry about his confidence from this perspective at all.

You don't have to correct him when he pronounces something wrongly, but you can just find a way to repeat the word back to him correctly pronounced. For instance (and using the fact that he starts words with g or d), if he says something like "gat" for "cat", say "Yes, he's a lovely cat, isn't he?"

It's not about 'correcting' but modelling the correct way to speak. Agree with pp that you must go! There are also lots of online resources full of suggestions on improving speech and communication skills in toddlers

he never talks in nursery

OP he may have selective mutism then-it affects at least 1 in 150 children

DS3 has SM and early intervention is best so I would suggest looking into this

Hi OP, I'm a SLT. I understand your reluctance to attend the session your nursery recommended - it sounds like a parent workshop involving general play and language strategies. Your son sounds like he needs a referral to SLT for an assessment of his speech sound development. You can do this yourself (SLT services accept referrals directly from parents) or ask nursery to refer him on your behalf.

You're right not to 'correct' him (as in telling him he's wrong) but do follow the advice upthread about modelling the correct way to say words. This example is a good one:

DD: My name is Farah
SALT: Oh, did you mean Farah or did you mean Sarah?
DD: Sarah

Don't ask him to copy or repeat what you say, just say it clearly for him so he can hear the difference between how he said it and how you said it. I appreciate that you say you're not worried, but early identification and intervention is most definitely the best way forward if children do need extra support. Other posters have mentioned the terribly long waiting lists that many SLT services have, so I would recommend requesting a referral for him as soon as possible

www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx#Signs

You don't correct, but you model it back. The example given isn't what I was shown to be right as you're highlighting their mistake. You don't ask them to resay it.
So in the example.
DD: My name is Farah
You: That's right your name is Sarah.
(and anyway my stubborn dc would probably have said "Farah" deliberately if you'd asked which was correct )

No fuss, not making a thing about it, just modelling it correctly.

I'd get his hearing checked (first thing a SALT will often ask anyway)-and don't say you know his hearing is fine. ENT says it's totally common for parents to say they never noticed-my ds was lip reading and I didn't realise until they picked it up. He never seemed to be struggling. (Glue ear).
I remember the day he came home and told me very seriously that "Did I know that ch and sh weren't the same sound?". He was 5 or 6 at the time and this was an amazing discovery for him doing phonics at school.

Then take any help you're offered as early intervention with speech is often key, and waiting lists round here are pretty bad (over a year at one point)
I've had 2 with SALT, and it really makes a difference, and they enjoy going as it's playing games.

I've had direct experience of seeing children with bad speech issues. In almost all cases the parents/close family could translate without thinking, so they often thought it wasn't a problem. However it can effect friendships and confidence at school.

How many sessions a week is he at nursery for? Just one half day or 5? If it is nearer 5, I would be seriously looking at arranging a proper meeting with nursery to discuss it fully. And mentioning that when asking for a Salt referral for the Speech sounds issue.

Agree with people don't correct. I had disagreements with daughters school doing last year. We just do for example
Dd: look mummy bu
Me: wow yes it is a bus
This is an example from when she was 3 as she left off s sound. Children were rotten to my little girl when she started school and her teachers didnt have a clue so grab any help you can get. We have only recently got help and we referred at just before turned 3 which was 2 and a bit years ago

My daughter had a physical throat problem and was referred to salt by consultant. Our medical insurance paid as it was £75 per session for 6 months. She went once or twice per week and was "cured". 😁
Don't ignore it, one of the best things you can do for your child is give them a voice. Your son won't speak at nursey so he has no voice there. Poor kid.

My daughter had speech therapy when she started reception. It was brilliant and sorted her problems out within a few months. I worked with her at home too.

I know a woman, whose daughter's speech problems turned out to be because of a hearing problem.

I'm not sure why you wouldn't want to sort this out or at least have him assessed by speech therapist. Is it because you can't be bothered with the effort of going? Not everything sorts itself out by itself.

My daughter hated not being understood. Even DH couldn't understand her sometimes.

You are describing DS! In reception, his teacher found him very hard to understand, though we could ( mostly ), but he talked all the time - he was just impossible to understand.
NHS speech therapy was hopeless for us,they wanted me to go to a course basically aimed at getting Mums to talk with their children . Not an issue for us - I talked to him and he talked back , we are a talky family...His issue was with producing the sounds,nothing else.
I found a private speech therapist, lucky we could afford her and she was fantastic.
The issue might have sorted itself out but in the meantime people outside the family couldn't understand him - that was very frustrating and difficult for him,and that's the big thing IMO - how much harder life is for your child when they can't make themselves understood.

With speech, it's usually a case of the earlier the better regarding intervention so any issues can be corrected before they become a habit. I'd take the help for your son if it's being offered - can't do any harm and may actually help him with his pronunciation.