Aitchoo! What's the etiquette with a cold?

[shovetheholly]

Please help me to settle a light-hearted family dispute!

Person A maintains that if you have a cold that's bad but not so bad you are marooned in bed, you just soldier on and ignore it. You turn up to whatever you have scheduled without telling anyone you are ill. They argue that germs are everywhere, and you can catch a cold at any time, from any one.

Person B says that if you have a cold you should ring those you're due to spend time with and tell them, giving them them option to go ahead, cancel, or reschedule. Person B's argument is that people then have a choice about whether to risk catching it - and can take a judgement in accordance with their personal circumstances which you might not always know (e.g. a big event coming up - party or wedding, or an immunosuppressed person in the family).

I am normally Person A but I soldiered on through this last one and am now dosed up on antibiotics getting over pneumonia 😷

My own stupid fault though, I work in retail and have "forgot" to get my flu jab this year.ive set myself a reminder for October 1st this year to sort it out!!

(October 1st next year that is!)

moreslack hope you're feeling better soon.

Fuzzy - same here. Because I don't look unwell, people seem to think my neutropenia is all fine. Um, no!

Full disclosure. Person A is DH, Person B is me! It's not so much that I stop when I'm sick as that I don't want to have lunch or meet people for drinks unless I've got permission to sniffle over them first. Otherwise I get scared that they will get my cold and then curse me for it! Whereas if they say 'Yes, no problem, come along anyway' I don't feel so terribly responsible. DH was taking the mick out of me yesterday for ringing my friend to ask whether she wanted to do lunch with Typhoid Mary.

Thank you pixies

Usually A. I work in germ factories though. Unless someone has underlying health concerns (very old/ young/ medical conditions) most people do better by using their immune system by exposing it to viruses.

When I used to supply and change schools frequently, I'd often get a new cold just after changing area. Colds must mutate differently in different parts of the county.

Something that bugs me is people that try to trace the lineage of their cold (the worst offender I know is healthy!)

Person B, please. Since having cancer, I find I really struggle with colds - they knock me sideways.

At the moment FIL is going through Chemo. DH is visiting him much more frequently (I am too) - we would not be able to go anywhere near him if we were ill.

Well, wherever you go, there's bound to be at least one other person with cold, so A.

I do usually tell people but that's only because I live in a ghetto of people with small children. I'd rather have root canal surgery than look after a toddler with the cold. But generally I think it's a considerate thing to do.

why I do agree. But you see I have two problems.

1. I'm a single parent with little support.

2). A cold landed me in HDU.

I'm aware that wherever I go ibcan easily pick a cold up, especially in winter. But unfortunately I cant plan for the next 4months or so over winter with several friends helping me do the school runs and kids hospital and doctors appointments (DS has AS) just in case I happen to catch a cold off someone who's decided to soldier on.

That's why I just think basic hand hygiene and chucking tissues in the bin is common courtesy.

I spent a few days in hospital last week. The other day I was talking to my neighbour who has a 6month old baby. I warned her before she got close I'd been unwell and didn't want to get too close. So we spoke gabbed for a while from a distance.

I am usually A but avoid elderly, babies, people I know to be particularly susceptible etc. But, B is probably the better thing to do!

That said I was particularly pissed off a few years ago. I was visiting my 90 yr old GF with DH & DCs (then aged 3yrs & 4 mths) on Christmas Eve. Was also meant to take DH's niece because BIL / SIL had both agreed to work without sorting childcare. Because GF lives 45 min away we were leaving early. 10 mins after we were supposed to leave MIL called to say niece had just been sick (she stayed there prev night) so we didn't need to take her. Fine. Until she says "She was sick last night but I thought she would be ok". SIL had had norovirus the previous week but MIL didn't put 2 & 2 together!

MIL didn't think it would have been courtesy to tell me about the night time vomiting, she was just going to drop her off so I could take her in the car for 1.5 hrs round trip sat between my baby and toddler, to visit my elderly Grandad.