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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be devastated about my dog being sick

20 replies

MooPointCowsOpinion · 23/11/2016 18:58

I'm an adult, the dog loves with my parents. It's been our family dog for a decade, including time when I loves at home.

She has been given a few weeks to live, and it's a complete shock, she's not even really old and she has tons of energy and life about her. She's the most loving, amazing dog.

I feel heartbroken. I'm really surprised at my own reaction to the news, I'm not at all sentimental but I bloody love that dog and she doesn't deserve this. She's a saint.

I feel like I need to tell people, work especially, to explain why I'm a mess. I'm usually very cheerful and I'm aware I won't be myself. But then I'm worried they'll think less of me, it's a relatively new job and a management role, will I look like I am unprofessional?

OP posts:
MooPointCowsOpinion · 23/11/2016 19:09

lives and lived

OP posts:
yellowfrog · 23/11/2016 19:18

Oh that's grim, I sympathise. I don't really know how work will take it - some people are really understanding, some not. Can you see how you go, and mention it if it seems people are noticing?

zsazsagaboredom · 23/11/2016 19:39

YANBU to be devastated. Definitely not. Whether he lives with you or not.
A lot of people will recognise and understand how raw and real the imminent death of a wonderful, dearly loved dog can be.
I'd let at least one person at work know. Discreetly if needs be.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 23/11/2016 19:39

Yes I could do. I never cry usually but I'm worried I will if I have to tell someone. In fact worrying about it probably makes it more likely I will, as it's just another emotion to add to the mix. I feel really self conscious about how sad I am!

OP posts:
littlesallyracket · 23/11/2016 23:23

Oh, how rotten for you. I really sympathise, and you are not being unreasonable at all. I know not everyone has the same feelings towards dogs but to a lot of people, including me, dogs really are part of the family.

I was in my mid/late twenties when our family dogs (which we'd had since I was 10) died and I was absolutely distraught about it. When the second one had to be put to sleep, I was at work when my mum called to tell me and I ended up crying in the toilets. Fortunately my boss understood and was really kind about it.

I think it's OK to tell people - I do think most people will understand why you're upset.

Lots of love to you.

Wolfiefan · 23/11/2016 23:25

I'm not surprised by your reaction. I remember losing a childhood pet as an adult. It felt like I was losing a part of my childhood as well as a member of the family.
Be kind to yourself and maybe let a few people know so you have support. Flowers

maninawomansworld01 · 23/11/2016 23:36

YANBU at all.
Dogs are part of the family and one dying is awful.
Anyone who does not understand is obviously not a dog owner -and a heartless bastard-

Take a load of time off work and enjoy your last days with your dog, especially if she is still able to take a walk. You'll be glad you did.

crazyspaniellady · 24/11/2016 00:52

YANBU, it's truly devastating Flowers but she's had a happy, love filled life and you and your family will have brought her just as much joy in her life than she's brought you, if you can try and spend a little time with her before she goes, you'll cherish it forever.
sending love and hugs your way OP, I'm sorry this has happenedFlowers

BeastofCraggyIsland · 24/11/2016 01:18

YANBU at all, I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to your lovely dog Sad Dogs are family members to many people, and to lose them, especially unexpectedly and while still relatively young, is devastating. I'm a vet so I see on an almost daily basis the meaning that a beloved dog can have in a person's life and how much their loss can affect that person. I know that I will not cope well, if at all, with losing my own dogs when the time comes, my love for them is boundless and they mean more to me than anything in the world other than DP and my parents. I hope your girl has some good quality time in the next couple of weeks and you get to spend some time with her. She'll know how much she is loved Flowers

FairyDogMother11 · 24/11/2016 01:59

YANBU at all, when I went into work after one of my family's cats died - and I wasn't even really really close to her but she was still a part of my family - I was devastated and my manager was lovely about it. He offered to send me home early but I personally needed to be busy rather than sat around. Some people will understand and others won't. I'm so sorry for what you're going throughFlowers

MooPointCowsOpinion · 24/11/2016 07:20

Thank you so much, such nice replies. I'm going to spend as much time with her as possible and you've reassured me not to feel silly about it.

OP posts:
MardAsSnails · 24/11/2016 07:23

DH actually wanted to fly half way round the world to say goodbye when he was told their family dog was being put down on the Monday morning. The only reason he didn't spend 3 days and £800 was because the flights were unavailable at late notice.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 24/11/2016 07:27

Make sure she has as good a time as possible.

One thing you may not like to hear now, but if when you have to take the decision, think about her, not you. Better a day too soon than a few hours too late.

Sorry this is happening.

puppydogmummy · 24/11/2016 07:53

I am so sorry to hear your news. I'm in the same position my beloved Staffy has been diagnosed with brain tumour and is at home with us just being kept comfortable. He doesn't have a lot of time left. I have to say I told people in work what was going on and was surprised st the support I got. I haven't brought the subject up since I first mentioned it as I'm afraid I'll start to cry, do I really sympathise with you. Keep your chin up, spend as much time with the pup and have as many snuggles as you can squeeze in. Sending you Flowers and kind thoughts

JunosRevenge · 24/11/2016 08:38

So sorry to hear this, OP.

Pets have a way of getting under your skin and into your heart, don't they?

Be kind to yourself Flowers

MooPointCowsOpinion · 24/11/2016 20:43

Puppydogmummy I'm so sorry you're going through this too.

She seemed in distress today, my parents took her back to the vet who said it was time already, and she was put down. I didn't get to say goodbye. I'm obviously heartbroken, don't know what else to say really.

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hotwater · 24/11/2016 21:20

I'm so sorry for your loss. They break your heart these little creatures we choose to love. Hope you are ok.

JunosRevenge · 24/11/2016 22:56

So, so sorry to hear this OP.

Thinking of you FlowersFlowersFlowers

Procrastination4 · 24/11/2016 23:22

Re. your work colleagues-if any of them have suffered the death of a dog, they'll know what you're going through and won't be one bit surprised if you are sad and "teary". When our dog died a couple of years ago (we had to have him put to sleep, and stayed with him while it was being done, which I'm so glad we did, as it was very peaceful and it was reassuring to see how easy it was for our poor dog) I was totally unprepared for how awful I felt afterwards. I remember walking aimlessly around the supermarket trying to think what I needed to buy but feeling totally disinterested and "out of it". So, any dog owner who has gone through it will definitely empathise with you. So sorry for you.

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