to not bother RSVPing?

[TheCursedOne]

Childish I know but DS has a party invite. He cannot attend as we have something else.

The parents of the party child did not RSVP to DS's last 2 party invites. The first one they turned up to anyway (lucky I had an extra party bag), the last one no response at all and did not attend. Fair enough not to attend but a quick text saying thanks but no thanks is not hard so the parents know for numbers.

AIBU to give the parent the same treatment?

we have something else on.

Don't behave badly just cos they do. Do the right thing and RSVP.

They probably don't know what RSVP means, I bet it's on the invite anyway isn't it. YABU though, but you know that

It would have been quicker to text a reply to the invite rather than start a thread about it - why be petty just because someone else is?

My father used to say 'don't lower yourself to other peoples' standards' .

Agree with Ragwort

YABU - treat others how you wish to be treated.

Don't stoop to their level. There's no need.

I'd treat them how they treat you. And if they comment on it I'd tell them that you assumed they didn't need a reply because they've never replied to you. They have indicated by their actions that they don't care about RSVP -ing

I'd send a text like this
sorry we won't be able to make xs party on x, we have an arrangment we can't get out off. I thought I'd let you know as we all know how annoying it is when people don't rspv. Hope x has a lovely party.

You make get a reply next year.

Dear do you think that would work though? In my experience people like that tend to agree that it's annoying but they mean it's annoying when people do it to them whereas they think it's no big deal if they do it to others. The same way as people who always cancel plans are outraged if someone does the same to them.

Just noticed that she's handwritten RSVP ASAP PLEASE in caps along the bottom of the invite. Cheeky mare.

Just be gracious. RSVP with kind thanks for the invitation, but a prior commitment means that DS won't be able to attend.

I think not RSVPing is extremely rude so why would you lower yourself to their level of ignorance? I would text them.

soda that's true!

cursed did you write rsvp in caps on your invites? If not then I think that's where you went wrong.

You either don't bother and be "that" parent

Or actually stick by what is right and RSVP.

I would reply if my child were attending, even if it was through gritted teeth. But in this situation I wouldn't bother. I don't feel there is any moral or social obligation to be polite to people who are rude to me.

I would smugly RSVP taking great enjoyment from the fact that I am the bigger person

She obviously doesn't know what RSVP means if she wrote "RSVP ASAP PLEASE". RSVP = Répondez s'il vous plaît = Please respond

Fuck just text and say you are busy. Miss out the passive aggressive shit suggested upthread. It's called being the better person

If you don't RSvP, then you set a precedent for both of you never replying to each other's parties for ever more( assuming that your DS wants to invite her child again next year). Two wrongs don't make a right. Do the right thing. Maybe she'll get the hint. Or maybe she texted the wrong number / asked her DS to RSVP in person or some other such mix up.

I like Dear's suggestion - you remain polite but still get the point across

I'd do Dears text word for word

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. There's some chance that since your DS's last party, they've learnt what a pain it is for people not to RSVP.