Not sure if IABU and insensitive or if DH is being a massive cock.
Background- I've been a SAHM since DD was born, 4years ago, since then I have done everything around the house apart from a few things that DH did and genuinely didn't mind this. We were both happy with this arrangement. He's a very hands on dad and she is very much both of our responsibility when we are both here AND he's amazing with diy, if everything needs repairing he will do it without any nagging and will give up his entire weekend to do things for us round the house.
DD starts school next September and is now in nursery quite abit in preparation and because she loves it, I have been working part time around her hours while she is there and we came to an arrangement with DH where he was going to do more around the house because I was also working abit, this has been fine so far, no problems.
The place where I work has asked me if I would like to do more hours which I talked over with DH and we decided that I should do it but it came with agreement that he would do a few more things to help than we originally agreed. Everyone was happy.
This weekend we had a huuuuuge leak in our house, the living room was ruined. Flooring has had to come up, furniture and wallpaper ruined and just aggravation since we've literally only just finished the work in there, DH was understandably upset and devastated after all his hard work renovating it. He took yesterday and Monday off work to start sorting it out and Tuesday was my log day at work (finished at 4). I called him on the way home and he admitted he had done hardly anything to repair the damage as he was exhausted from Sunday night (he was up until 4:00 trying to stop the water coming in etc) fair enough, he deserves a day to himself with DD. I come home and the house was a bomb site, clothes everywhere, washing up from breakfast, DD not bathed, washing dry but not put away, wrappers and food boxes all over the kitchen, he obviously had walked in the house after the rain and hadn't bothered to give the carpet a hoover. I was upset, he never ever comes home to our house like that, how often is it ever going to happen that he's home and I'm at work, I felt he could have made an effort to just do something. So I come in, clear up abit, wash up and tell him I'm hurt, he's uncharacteristically not bothered. He then didn't even offer to make me dinner, bath DD or anything. Later on I confronted him and told him I was so upset that the first week I did these longer hours he was actually at home and could have contributed at home a lot more and that he hadn't even offered to put some dinner on for me or DD (he didn't have dinner). He said he was tired, stressed and upset about everything and had just wanted to relax for the day which would have been fine for me if he had then apologised and said sorry I was a dick actually BUT he didn't, he thinks that he's 100% right to have literally not helped out at all.