LRD, this is why I try not to talk what I don't understand, my apologies. From the many testimonies I have read (online, which obviously is biased and not 100% representative), there are children born from donor sperm who think about/need to know about their biological fathers/paternal families. Having a letter waiting is, imo, a good thing, if nothing else was the alternative. The people who don't need to read it don't have to. The ones that do want/need to read it, can.
Yoho, my main point was that the two scenarios are not the same imo. I haven't said it's great to have a deadbeat dad, that's you misreading what I wrote. I believe I even said I was affected by it, how is that painting it as a better alternative? The fact is that my deadbeat, absent dad became a father to me, although at a time when I didn't really need it. We are very close now. A lot of children from single parent families do get to know/understand their deadbeat fathers when they grow up. If not their fathers themselves, then sometimes their paternal extended families. They don't often (but sometimes do) have a whole side to their biology they don't know much about. Some never rekindle with their fathers.
But having a relationship with a biological father isn't an option for most children of donors. As LRD has said, the donor is not their 'father'. These children usually are borne into secure, loving families. Some of these families are single parent ones, which are no more/less loving than other single parent families. But that situation is not the same as deadbeat/absent dad scenarios. That was my point. I personally dislike it when people lump the two together, because I feel it doesn't attend to the specific issues concerning parents and their donor conceived children. To deny their are differences is an injustice to the many children who take to the internet to tell their positive and negative thoughts about their own experiences as donor conceived children.