to wonder what the hell we're actually going to die of

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

I've wanted to ask this for a while but have held off for fear of being insensitive. So if you are someone with a relative ill at the moment I apologise in advance if my question is upsetting at all.

But it is a genuine AIBU to ask if the aim is to cure everyone of cancer/heart disease/everything what is going to be left for us to die of/with?

Personally I'd prefer a heart failure. Two GPs died of heart failure, very peacefully and suddenly. It was a terrible shock for us, but by God that is the best way to go, without pain. OP I have said something similar to my mum that something has to get you.

MIL had a massive stroke 3 years ago, she's bed bound, with partial paralysis and only two words in a nursing home. She always said she never wanted to be dribbling in a care home (her words prior to the stroke). At the time we didn't know if she would make it for weeks, and I admit I secretly hoped she would go quickly, with dignity.

But I was wrong. On paper she has a terrible quality of life. In reality she loves the carers and is a favourite with them, and the gardener - who she somehow manages to flirt with. And who brings her roses! She watches Strictly, X factor and BGT and has relearnt how to use the remote control. She laughs and encourages her excitable granddaughters to as much mischief as she can. She even somehow managed to make her doctor blush. A conversation is a bit like talking to a Clangers off tv, there's just enough intonation (no words though) to understand what she means. It is definitely her personality though, she is the exception rather than the rule.

She has her marbles though. That makes all the difference.

Sukey, that's interesting.

Basic, I can't bear the idea of long life. Imagine watching all the shit people do go round and round and on and on and the world getting more and more overpopulated....
It's hard to know what an elderly person is thinking. I know both my parents are ready to go as is my 94 year old friend but it's not the sort of thing they tell everyone. I want more years with mum but I know that's selfish of me. I will be heartbroken when she's gone.

Yes it absolutely does. But for others paralysis and loss of speech would make life unbearable.

Cardiac arrest would still be my preferred option, if there was any choice!

Puss, Ive posted before about a major accident I was involved in. Just this week a friend was talking about this kind of thing and how people carry on...I told her my first thought on coming to was that if I'd got permanent damage I'd top myself.

Then I panicked and thought OMD what if I'm unable to reach a bottle of pills, will my sister or best friend be able to put a pillow over my face because they risk being prosecuted......

She was quite shocked but meh, it's just life. It's hard enough. I'm hoping to retire at 50. Tbh just a few years of no work will do me. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow I'll just be sorry to miss retirement!!

Has anyone being following the news about the projected head transplant upcoming? Really, of course, it's a body transplant - the doctor reckons he can keep the brain functioning long enough to reattach to a new spinal column, and the patient, who has total paralysis, has given informed consent to be the test subjects. Most of his colleagues think he'll fail anyway, but theoretically that's immortality for some right there - when your body fails you just get a new one.

I'm sure I read a scifi story about the lower classes being farmed for their bodies somewhere so the rich could keep rejuvenating. The ultimate in 2 tier healthcare....

Anyway, I'm not so sure about the silent heart attack thing. I think I'd want to know and make sure everything was sorted first. I don't want to retire. I'm an academic and I know some superstars in the field still working in their 70s. Stuart Hall (the founder of cultural studies, not the presenter!) pretty much died in harness. That's the way I want to go,

I'm middle aged and have seen longevity in some families, with quick ends, and brevity of life in other families. My mum's family has a mix of both, my departed dad died at 73 and he was the oldest to die amongst his sister and brother.

I think we will die of resurgent diseases (that will probably take out the younger generation, like Spanish Flu), poverty, famine, flooding.

I too hope it's quick. The thought of being drugged up and incontinent for years watching endless re runs of anodyne TV leaves me despairing.

Cat, but everything can be sorted...I made a will as soon as I bought my flat, if you have kids you will have thought of guardians etc?