AIBU to vent about my aunt and food intolerances - gluten and lactose

[Quintessing]

My 84 year old aunt has lactose and gluten intolerance. So does my other aunt and my uncle. Everybody takes a tablet before eating anything with lactose, and they are all fine and can enjoy themselves. All cakes and food at family events are gluten free. Not everything is lactose free, as that is not as easy.

It is my mums birthday on friday. She loves cake with cream. I dont have time to bake lots, I am alone with two kids, I work, I study, and I sort out the party. I have ordered two gluten free cakes, one with cream as my mum loves it, and one chocolate cake that has lactose in the frosting.
We are baking a lovely banana cake, which is gluten free and lactose free.

My aunt has the hump that I am not baking everything myself and making everything lactose free. My mum is allergic to soy. Me and ds2 gets a terrible tummy from soy based cream. She is so annoyed that we are not making more of an effort to accomodate her and others needs.
She says she is annoyed that she has to take a tablet for the lactose, when she should not have to.

My thinking is that it is my mums birthday, only a small percentage of people present has lactose intolerance, and all cakes are gluten free. Is it really so bad to take a tablet?

I dont have time to bake more than one cake.

It's not ideal but there's cake available to her so I think YANBU.

Of course YANBU! What a monumental PITA.

tell the selfish cow to bring her own cake!

What is this magic tablet I so need it
You have gf and she has choices once there is 1 or 2 bits for her to eat she will be fine.
My DSis does not cater for me I jus bring my own easier then being sick or stressing the host and better then a fruit salad

Tell her it's an invitation, not a summons that you've got a banana cake that meets her requirements but she's more than welcome to bring a different dessert or cake that she would enjoy.

It's hard to cater to everyone. My DH got huffy last week when his cousin's 30th birthday cake wasn't GF... But there was a delicious pavlova to distract his attention

I am lactose intollerant and take H&B Super Lactase when there is dairy food that I want. I can't see what your aunt is so upset about. Sometimes I go totally dairy free and don't take the tablets... in which case I don't get desert. In other cases, I take a tablet and enjoy. Tell them to wind their necks in.

On the other side, if you do want to make things that are suitable for lactose free without using soya, try Arla's lactofree range (milk, cheese, cream). All proper dairy but the lactose has been removed. I live on the stuff.

How well does that work WhereDoes? I can tolerate small amounts of milk and cream, but tend to use Lactofree milk and cream at home.

You are providing THREE cakes, one homemade, while she is providing... what exactly?

She can either bring a cake that suits her (so now you have four cakes), or she can take a pill like everyone else. Then when it's her birthday, she can have whatever she wants.

Thanks, I was beginning to think it was me.

But my niece has offered to make a batch of gluten free and lactose free brownies. Love that girl!