AIBU to think online dating might not work for some people?

[gloomyjune]

I've tried a few but am still very single, and don't know how else to meet people. Everyone just says to try OD but AIBU to think it may not work for some of us.

Last time I did OD it looked like everyone had a long list of demands. eg, I want someone who likes all my quirks, who will treat me like the prize I am, who is interested in getting to know the real me behind the quiet shy personality I hide behind etc and so on. Its nothing like how you meet in real life. I found you need to have a lot lower standards on line, so you meet more people on dates and then make a decision in real life if you like each other.

I have 3,245 matches on tinder and I don't like any of them. I wonder if men just aren't photogenic tbh

It's down to luck. "Mr Right" would have to be on the same dating site as you, at the same time as you, and one of you have the courage to ask the other out.

Then factor in one or the other of you making a tit of yourself on the first few dates, being nervous or just not in the mood for a date on a particular occasion, and the opportunity gets missed.

I think the old saying, that "if you throw enough shit at a wall, some of it is going to stick" is apt here. Keep putting yourself out there, keep trying to find the right person, take a chance on asking someone on a date even if they don't look "perfect" right away. The more times you roll the dice, the more chance of getting a double-six.

It's all luck, and I wish you good luck.

I put a lot of effort into online dating (as did the others I know who used it successfully)
I winked, I chatted and I sent messages. If you equate every message with conversations with perfect strangers you met in real life, you're not going to get a date out of all of them.
The last time, I signed up for 1 month. I wouldn't like to think of how many winks and messages I sent but I went on 13 "dates" in that time. A lot of them were complete weirdos and I couldn't wait to get out of there. A couple were fun but nothing came of it. Number 12 was my OH.
Be proactive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the best ones are less interested in the superficial ...

It's not working for me. Been on and off for about 10ish years now.

I do accept I have become very picky due to past experiences and have firmed up my boundaries, what I will and won't respond to.

TBH I am bored senseless by men who think 3 or 4 messages is enough to start throwing about sexual innuendos there are so many of them like this. I get quite a lot of messages on POF but out of over 100 I will respond to maybe one or two based on their profiles.

I am also on tinder but because I am so very picky I get very few matches and those that do don't seem to talk! What on earth is the point of matching with someone then?

Are there better sites (free because I'm not forking out for it) than these two with a better standard of men? My location is a bit of a problem. Attitude wise. Men here are not as forward thinking as other parts of the UK.

YANBU - and if it's because of You, that's really fine. It works well for lots of people but for some (like me) it's not a way that I would find a partner. That's just me. They turn up when you're not searching and doing something else. If like me you're too focused on other things than to even notice then that's fine too - there wouldn't be enough of yourself that you could give towards a balanced relationship. When you have the time to notice the glint in their eye, then the time is right.

I don't know.

I've had the time.

I think maybe some people just aren't attractive to the opposite (or same!) sex?