To think that I am not a nice person.

[DogBiscuits]

Because I get envious when I see people i know who get what I want. I don't not want them to have it but I can't help but feel jealous.

This makes me feel like a shit person and I honestly do hate myself for it.

Please tell me I'm not the only one?

One thing I have noticed is that I am running out of patience. I just want something to look forward to. I'm sick of the shit life Keeps dishing me out. How can I not look at others and envy them.

Unfortunately, alot if it is about money. I don't want to be rich or anything but I've been living hand to mouth for as long as I can remember. And the future looks the same.

I feel really ungrateful. I have lots to be grateful about but this money issue is so all encompassing and effects everything in my life, the quality of my life.

YANBU.

I have this too but bizarrely only with certain people. One of my friends hates her job and her boss has just given her a new role with a payrise because she told him she was unhappy.

I feel really jealous because I have really struggled with my job and earn less than half of what she does. I feel like she's had everything handed to her on a plate.

That sounds really difficult Dog and I don't blame you for envying others. It must wear you down. It's good that you have other things to be grateful for. But that doesn't mean you are a bad person for wishing you were more comfortable financially.

Agree wholeheartedly with tinsel I too suspect you are young. I was like you when younger but found comfort in having a few important possessions and also the realisation that others were often not as happy as me despite having so much in their lives. Scratch below the surface and there's a lot of shit going on for people that you would never guess at in a million years. There's a lot of fakery going on too.

Living hand to mouth worrying constantly about money is shit seeing others managing and having a seemingly nice life envying them is a distraction and eats you up you obsess about them, learning to accept your situation is hard but you can do it.

Ok, so if you want something to look forward to, make it happen, can you apply for other better paid jobs? What about doing an open university course to retrain in something in your spare time to maybe get a better job? Can uou speak to your employer about promotion prospects and how to get them?

Honestly, instead of focusing on others, focus on what uou can do to make it happen.

Unfortunately, alot if it is about money. I don't want to be rich or anything but I've been living hand to mouth for as long as I can remember. And the future looks the same

It is hard when you can't seem to get one step ahead of yourself financially, I get that and it's hard to make any changes when you've got to make ends meet.

But honestly, people who seem in a "better" situation than me on the surface, I find when I know the inns and outs down the road, often make sacrifices/comprimises that I wouldn't be up for: huge debts, putting up with things that would be a deal breaker for me etc.

E.g. I know some people who get a lot of financial help from parents: want a bigger house? - parents give them a lump sum, Want to retrain? - parents pay uni fees, They go on holiday without the kids and have lots of babysitting. We have loving grandparents but they're not able to help much so yeah I do feel envious, however I also know that SOME (not by any means all, but still some) of those friends who have financial help from their parents sacrifice a lot in terms of their parents interfering/dictating in their lives as a toss/up, some of their parents throw the "help" back in their face regularly and use it to emotionally blackmail them. It might look IDEAL on the outside but actually be a very dysfunctional situation on the inside with a lot of damaging dynamics, that frankly no amount of money would make me up for all of that nonsense! I've seen a friend suffer terrible mental health problems because her mother was so emotionally abusive to her but had a hold on her because she relied on her so much financially! sod that!

Even so, some days I do fantasise about how amazing it would be to have someone there who just gave us lump sums whenever we needed it..

No. I am not young! I am mid 30s. Its a time when I'm seeing lots of people around me are going up a step. They've bought new homes/ extensions/ family is complete etc and I feel I'm still at the same place for years.

a proportion of those people will be going up in debt, possibly biting off more than they can chew.

Of my friends who got on the property ladder and bought proper homes before me, it's paid off well for a few, and a few others are trapped in negative equity and paying interest only. Some are renting their homes out for no profit and renting somewhere else to live in because they couldn't sell and needed to move for work.

"buying houses" 99% of the time doesn't mean owning houses, it means for most people taking on a big mortgage and being tied to one location. It depends on how you look at it.

Buying can end you up feeling trapped with a massive albatross around your neck! it's a gamble at the best of times, probably on of the biggest gambles you'll ever make, all you can do is HOPE that it was the right decision at the right time in the right place..

Some very good replies above op
What we see of people is "filtered", just snapshots of the reality
Look ahead not to the sides.
Oh! And also don't believe everything you see on FB. Social media has got a lot to answer for.