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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu not to want to join in ex's family stuff

13 replies

YummymummyAsjch · 21/11/2016 13:44

Me and my ex partner of 7 years broke up 2/3 months ago have 2 young children together. The break up was horrible. He's turned against me and only sees the children once a week.

His family don't talk to me only his mum and that's when she can be asked even if I message her she doesn't reply. Yet she expects me to go to all her family's birthdays and stuff.

Am I wrong in saying no. I don't hear from them from one month to the next and they haven't even met my son. Please someone help me

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 21/11/2016 13:45

Nope, I'd stop communicating at all with any of them except for ex regarding contact.

Damned if I'd turn up to ex outlaws for celebrations when they can't even be civil to you. Why on earth would anyone want to do that to themselves?

KayTree87 · 21/11/2016 14:18

YANBU sometimes people get on with their ex inlaws and that's great, but lots of people don't. I most definitely wouldn't especially because you're not even on friendly terms. Seems bizarre they would even expect you too. Only person you need to be in contact with is your ex for the kids.

MommaGee · 21/11/2016 14:19

Definitely no unreasonable. If they can't be pleasant why would you make your kids go through that, or yourself. If they want to see your kids, that's their dads responsibility

ChuckGravestones · 21/11/2016 14:20

Yet she expects me to go to all her family's birthdays and stuff.

How do you know this is she doesn't speak to you?

Really, who cares what she thinks? Get on with your life and never mind what she wants you to do.

YummymummyAsjch · 21/11/2016 14:41

If you notice I wrote from one month to the next. The only time I really hear from her is to go to one of her lots birthdays.

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 21/11/2016 17:37

If your ex has contact with his kids it is for him to arrange to see his family with them when he has them unlesd you WANT to.

rollonthesummer · 21/11/2016 17:40

Just don't reply to her invites. Or reply saying-sorry, busy that day.

Why are you worried about what she thinks when she doesn't worry about being rude to you.

pipsqueak25 · 21/11/2016 17:54

go nc, they aren't your family anymore, the dcs are the only link, you do not need to explain or get involved, let ex sort it out. if you did go to these get togethers, odds are there would be a lot of bitching and snidey remarks anyway.

YummymummyAsjch · 22/11/2016 21:20

Thanks guys I didn't think I was being out of order. But the ex's mother is very good at making me feel guilty and bad when I done nothing to them. Telling me I should contact them. Aibu not messaging them when they are nothing to do with me and aren't interested in me or my children?

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 22/11/2016 22:10

No you're not unreasonable. Stop communicating with her. Don't let her make you feel bad.

Cherrysoup · 22/11/2016 22:13

Block her. She can see the Dec when your ex has them. Why do you keep letting her contact you if it annoys you?

Starlight2345 · 22/11/2016 22:17

I agree..Go NC..If she wants to see GC Ex can take them...

YummymummyAsjch · 23/11/2016 00:04

Another issue in itself of ex having children on his own. I shouldn't let it get to me but for me feeling this way saves arguments with ex

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