To request no gifts for my new baby?

[BobbieDog]

I know this is possibly unheard of but is it rude to request no gifts for the arrival of dc2?

When i had dd who is 4, i got quite abit of stuff that was not practical, stuff that was 12 months too big, pointless things etc. If im honest 99% went to the charity shop.

I hate storing clothing in bigger sizes (this time round i will struggle for storage space) and i hate dresses, tights, stiff denim etc.

I would much rather people saved their money and just brought themselves when they come to see the new baby.

What would you think to this request?

You could ask that instead of gifts for your baby they donate baby clothes to a clothes bank for poor and vulnerable families if they want to do something. It means someone who needs help is getting it.

Most gift will still have tags on. Take it back to the shop and exchange for something you like or a different size. Just beware, that with no gift receipt if it is in the sale you will get the sale price not full price.
We did that with a couple of things because lb was very small so things people bought were the wrong season!

You won't get as much this time round, but if you do get a lot of stuff you don't want how about taking it to a woman's refugee or mother And baby unit?

I'd drop hints that you prefer buying yourself, or have lots passed down or if you use social media post that you have loads of baby stuff left so please don't feel you need to buy dc2 anything and maybe add you'd rather have food for yourself! that way it's not a definite no and you will still get some but you'll hopefully get less and dont feel bad about putting it straight in the charity bag if you hate it!

Just accept gratefully and donate to charity if you don't want them. People want to buy for a new baby.

JeniJena I could have written your post myself. Good advice.

OP do take things back to the shop ASAP wherever you can. Don't feel bad about it. Take a credit note/voucher and you might be able to buy something useful like nappies etc at a later date. I was much more ruthless this time.

I try to make a point of asking people what they would like now.

And definitely yes to taking things back instead of charity shop esp if you like the shop so you can get stuff for yourself or either dc that you will actually like and use!

Women's refugee is a very good idea.

I know there is a teen mother and baby unit in my next town

I found the amount of useless stuff I got really depressing when my twins were born. I know it's rude to say that in real life (and I didn't) but we were in a tiny flat and people were filling it up with crappy silver ornaments and useless (and very expensive) designer babywear. It actually really depressed me. Not sure how you could do it diplomatically though....

Just tell them what you want.

That you have loads and loads of stuff already and would love to see them, so just bring themselves (and a smile)

I will be doing this when I get round to dc2, I cant STAND tat, at all.

I tried to drop hints subtly when I was pregnant if people asked me what to get, id say oh we don't need anything, but no one listened to me.

I had a long an very uncomfortable hospital stay with dd and when I got home my living room was just full of crap and I couldn't relax at all. It was awful, I threw most of it out.

A lot of the time people really didn't think about or care about what they had bought, they just felt like they had to bring something

I found the amount of useless stuff I got really depressing

This was me exactly, just the sheer amount of rubbish that filled my nice cosy living room...I burst into tears.

We received barely anything for our second, if that reassures you.

Ebay!!! Or take it back and swap it for vouchers / credit / something you prefer.

With my last dc (#5) I told my dm to inform family that I didn't want any gifts. By this stage I bought everything second hand, the novelty of baby stuff had truly worn off and I didn't want anyone wasting money. Anyone who asked me what i would like was told the same. Of course I accepted graciously though when I did receive something.

I took loads of stuff back recently and used the vouchers I git back to kit out the older ds who actually needed stuff. I felt a bit bad but we had spent loads on ds2 buying things he needed and had lots of clothes whereas ds1 is 4 and always in need of something new.

Bahaha for DC2 we got barely any gifts!

So I wouldn't worry OP nor bother making this request. You won't get as much tat this time round and you can always give any away to a charity shop.

I returned every gift I got for DC4.

4th child. I saved everything from older siblings. Not only did I not need anything, I had multiples of several things do had far more than I needed.

Still people bought baby clothes. They knew I didn't need anything. But it's what people do.

I returned everything to the shops they came from. Because I had no receipt I got store credit. Spent it at a later date on things I actually needed.

No one knew. I didn't say a word about doing it. No one asked or noticed. I got to chpose useful gifts instead.

Everyone's a winner.

It wouldn't occur to me that it s an odd request, but maybe I'm unconventional. I might be a bit disappointed not to buy the perfect little sleep suit, but it feels like it's up to the person whose house is all going to be stored in to decide.
But of your real worry is not offending people, just accept you will give it all to charity.
Just smile and wave

I agree with others that you probably won't get as much this time. The first time everyone seems to buy but after that it is just the select few, so it may not be an issue as much. People like to buy though and even requests of no gifts will largely be ignored.

I always put the receipt in, that way they can take it back if needs be.

Even if someone did request no gifts.
My conciense still wouldn't let me go to visit a new baby empty handed, even if I just took a teddy bear from pound land.

If it's clothes etc you can normally take OT into the store and just say ots a gift and can you get a credit note. Duplicates of toys if I cba were passed on to other babies I knew / charity shop. I got lots of keepsakes for DS Christening that I have no idea what to do with - "silver" dummy, rattle etc which at some point will end up on a storage box. Afraid you're just gonna have to accept people want to but of course if anyone asks you can say you have most everything you need / suggest a small donation to a charity in DC's name

If you feel you have to shop before you visit, please stop -
We expect your presence in our new child's life, not presents
We've done all the big shop, the small shop, the extra shop
She has teddies and frocks and toys and books
Soon enough she'll have her sisters stuff too
And dear husband already says there's enough here for four!
So please do come buy, feel free to bring cake, or biscuits, or flapjacks, or cake...
And if you really want to mark our special girls arrival
A small donation to X charity in her name would be great!

It was a naff, badly worded, non rhyming poem you requested, right??

Just return stuff - it's always obvious what shop things come from. Then you'll have credit notes for when you actually need stuff. You really can't lay down the law about presents though. My otherwise perfectly lovely SIL read me a similar lecture about the dresses that were and were not acceptable for my DN and I haven't bought her any clothes since. Not gracious.

Just take the stuff back to the shop and swap itfor something you do like

Or just say to people "i just need the basics, vests sleepsuits and maybe some blankets"

As a gift buyer id be more happy to pick up basics than not bring anything at all.