To feel guilty about getting a cleaner?

[KellyBoo800]

DH and I both work full time, and household work is split pretty fairly. But we both hate cleaning! We keep the house very tidy but it's the dusting and hoovering and mopping that I just can't tolerate. Life is too short!

Turns out that one of the ladies who works for our dog walker (and happens to have fallen completely in love with our dog!) is a professional cleaner. She's coming round next week for an initial chat and then hopefully we we will have her for 2 or 3 hours a fortnight to clean all rooms apart from the bedrooms.

But I feel stupidly guilty about this, like we are failing as grownups because we don't manage this ourselves (we could - we just don't want to!). But I don't feel this way about other people who have cleaners - I think they're smart! But no one I know IRL has a cleaner so maybe I'm worried they will judge us? We're not particularly well off (I earn £36k and DH earns £16k, but both pay off big chunks of debt every month) but I was working from home yesterday and was brought to tears by the amount of bloody dust everywhere!

So I already know IABU because we can afford the £60 a month it will cost us and it will make a big difference to our sanity, and I know I shouldn't give a shit about what anybody else thinks, but I feel I am betraying my council estate working class roots please tell me it will be worth it and that using a cleaner has changed all your lives for the better

Instead of feeling guilty you have a cleaner, feel proud you are giving employment to someone that needs the job.

I have a question.

I have house rabbits, they're very tidy but we do keep a little hay stack in one of the bedrooms along with a litter tray. We have a 3 bed semi that we try our best to keep clean but pet hairs are the main problem. My DH also works from home so could get in the way.

Will a cleaner clean for us?

I'd be hoping for a couple of hours every fortnight and included in that would be hoovering and polishing everywhere, cleaning all surfaces and cupboards, doors etc. and finally mopping the downstairs which is all wooden floor.

Is this too much of a big ask for 2 hours a fortnight? I don't want to embarrass myself by asking too much and then the cleaner says no

I have a friend who's a professional cleaner and 2 or 3 times a year I ask her to do a deep clean.
That way we can keep the house ticking over without too much effort.
She does a brilliant job and I'm happy to pay her.
All for the cost of a family pizza trip?
No guilt whatsoever.

I know how you feel op, I also had mixed feelings about getting a cleaner and my DH was adamant that we shouldn't get one, but now we have a cleaner we couldn't do without her! She only comes once a fortnight for 3 hours so I do have to do some hoovering etc inbetween, but it so good knowing that every other Friday the house will be spotless. If we had more spare cash I'd get someone to do the ironing too.
It does feel weird employing someone to do the jobs you don't want to do, but my cleaner is just a working mum like me, doing a part time flexible role.

I have a cleaner - she does a good job and makes my life easier. In return, I pay her a fair wage and treat her with courtesy and respect. I can't see what the problem is.

Why on earth should you feel guilty about having a cleaner?

At the moment I have a cleaner and a gardener, in the past I've had a nanny, a window cleaner, a gardener and a cleaner. The nanny was essential so that my husband and I could work; the other 3 do tasks we are hopeless at (the garden) or can't be bothered with/ don't have time for. Never occurred to me to feel guilty about any of them.

Current cleaner is very unreliable but still better than doing it myself.

Not at all. I felt horrendously guilty getting a cleaner and kept it quiet after a 'it's alright for some' comment. I also really worried about the invasion of privacy and strangers coming into my home, not cleaning how I would etc. However both dh and I work full time with me doing very long shifts and studying for a PhD ... I felt I was worrying about the state of the house when I was spending precious time with dc and really got a hang up over it. Although we had a few negative comments we justified it as those people regularly went out , it was what we chose to spend our money on to make family life a little easier, read stressed out mummy. The time we used a company the regular cleaner was ok but when someone else came it looked they they ran round with the hoover before having a cup of tea in from of the telly...now have an amazing lady who looked far too glam to risk breaking a nail but she really is wonderful and I think does a bit too much! I honestly think if you can afford something that would improve life for you then do it.

Fenwinkle , I think it depends on how much tidying you want them to do or purely cleaning . I tidy up the day before she comes and do a bit of hoovering mid week as we are out doorsy and tend to trample mud in. I have 3 hours every week but one hour is ironing. Sounds a similar sized house, I'd just write down what you'd like and ask what they can realistically do to the standard you want

Brilliant! I'd definitely carry on doing my normal daily tidying up it's just the actual cleaning that takes up so much of my time so it'd be great if a cleaner could take over that every fortnight. Great idea to write it all down and ask what would be a reasonable amount of time to do it in, hopefully the cleaner wouldn't think I was being unreasonable then.

It does feel quite daunting having someone come into your home to deal with your mess n things, slightly embarrassing.

It's job creation. Nowt to feel guilty about.

I would LOVE to get a cleaner. A few hours every fortnight won't break the bank if your income is £52,000. Is your husband feeling guilty? Didn't think so :) You're providing work for someone. Stop feeling guilty!

Best £20 a week I spend.

I would love to get a cleaner. Don't feel guilty!

Yes go for it, it's worth it. Don't feel guilty

Don't feel guilty. You are providing employment for someone who needs a job and money.

I employed my first one when DD was the baby from hell - it saved my sanity if not my marriage. Now I could easily do without one but I still employ a cleaner. It's not that I'm too good to do my own cleaning but I know she relies on the money and I can afford it.

Fenwinkle I really know how you feel about someone seeing your stuff. If I've got a really messy room or loads of washing in my bedroom I just leave a note to not do that room and shut the door. I'd also say don't feel guilt about changing the cleaner or putting up with things not being done how you have asked (obviously being reasonable !) looking back I lost a considerable amount of money through the agency as for a while I accepted that was how they did it, now superwoman is here I feel guilt not paying her more !

I am a sahm and have a cleaner (well used to - budgetary constraints sob) and its the best £30 a week I spend. The house is noticeably tidier ( I used to tidy before she came) and cleaner as she does all the jobs I hate and does them really well in less time it would have taken me.

I think of it as spreading the wealth around!

Ok I am a cleaner, I love my job by the way as I am self employed. Since I started 4 years ago I have def seen a rise in normal working class households, I think due to the recession people are working longer hours, and just want to relax when they get home. I don't think there is anything to feel guilty about at all, you know the lady through your dog walker, so go for it. I would however skip the separate interview though (this is due to time constraints on her time) and just book her for an initial say 3-4 hr deep clean, ask her any questions you may have before she starts and return to speak to her before she finishes about future bookings. Good luck with it, I am told it is s life changing experience for some people!

I feel guilty when I tell people I have a cleaner but we both work hard my husband likes his sport on a weekend and tidied up for the rest of the week and I just find cleaning really frustrating. We can afford it and so I chose to go with out other luxuries (don't dye my hair or get nails done etc) I only get it done every 2 weeks for two hours so she does a big clean of bathrooms kitchen and bedroom and lounge and it just is such a help and means I can keep on top of the day to day tidying. The guilt goes away when u realise just how helpful it is x

I had a cleaner for 12 weeks when I first had DD3. Worth every penny. It was the upstairs rooms - 2 bathrooms and the bedrooms / stairs hoovering that I couldn't be arsed to manage. If we have another baby a cleaner on a more ongoing basis will be prioritised.

You are freeing up time with your family and providing employment. Why would you feel guilty?

It's fantastic, wish I'd had the money to do it years ago, my cleaner does three hours, cleans whole house and does half the beds each week and does ironing if time left over. She knows we are not very tidy, but works around it, sometimes rooms aren't done if too messy. I don't even think it's just three hours, I'm quite tired after work and so I don't think I'm very efficient if I did three hours housework, she's much more efficient, so the end result benefits everyone.

Don't feel bad it's awesome.
We have cleaners, also have laundry and ironing done, gardening also, sometimes have cooks / kitchen staff in when we are entertaining.

It's brilliant, life is too short for housework - we don't do any at all. If you can afford it then just enjoy all that free time to do whatever you like.

You shouldn't feel any guilt at all. Although I'd be the type of person who'd clean before the cleaner arrived.

We have a cleaner. We work full time. Mad not too. I love a clean house I fucking hate cleaning.

I'd have a cleaner like a shot if I could afford one. Don't feel guilty as it will provide someone with an income. Sadly I can't afford one plus I only work 18 hours a week so can't justify one either.