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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

what would you do?

344 replies

hollyatchristmas · 19/11/2016 08:37

Hi

Here is my situation.

I have a DD who is 8 months. Before I had her, I was working (full time) in a zero hours role, although you never actually got zero hours, it was in home community care.

I split up with her dad when she was 2 months, I've had maternity pay just the basic from the government.

Now here's the problem, I need to go back to work. My mum died when I was 13, she left me her house. I don't live in it as I met my boyfriend when I was 17, but I had some money left from what my mum left me, I bought a flat. Me and DD live in the flat now, obviously will prob need somewhere bigger when she's older but luckily she's a quite good baby.

Anyway because I have this house that is rented out to people I am not entitled to any benefits apart from child benefit.

But going back to work is difficult. I have to do anti social hours. I just can't as even if my baby is in nursery they aren't open nights and weekends.

So I need to think of another job, but don't know what. And I'm really starting to panic. I'm just looking for advice on what I can do, to support me and my baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 19/11/2016 21:45

well I will check but i think it's clear

petition.parliament.uk/archived/petitions/50004

OP posts:
queenofthebucket · 19/11/2016 21:55

does your own home counts as savings as well as the rental house OP? if not then having a few extra rooms might be ok? I don't know about universal credit though.

By the way I left school with no qualifications and had a disrupted childhood, I was a single parent and I have just completed my degree. It is different nowadays I know, but I just wanted to let you know it can be done but it took me a great deal of time to develop the self confidence.

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 19/11/2016 22:05

no just the rental house

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 19/11/2016 22:41

Why can't you just apply for receptionist work somewhere if you need a 9-5 job?

AvaCrowder · 19/11/2016 22:50

I think that you should get independent financial advice. Not like a lottery winner but from somebody who grew up in care to being an asset holder is quite a big jump. Good for you for holding things together.

Would it feel like a betrayal to sell the house?

A lot of posters have suggested careers that you could do, which would be better paid than nmw care work, but if that's what you want to do that's fine.

Could you take an extended maternity leave to give you a bit more time to think things through?

And you sound quite articulate, I'd chance it and apply for jobs and say that you do indeed have gcses. The worst they can do is not give you the job or sack you.

Good luck!

useyourimagination · 19/11/2016 23:06

There was a post earlier today about some posters who were trying unsuccessfully to recruit for positions. They were failing because of the quality of applicant's at the CV stage.

I've read your posts - you're clearly articulate and intelligent, you can spell and your grammar is perfect.

If I were you, I would put applications in for anything that takes your fancy, or anything entry level that might lead on to something, regardless of what qualifications are asked for. Most places take applications via email so you're not paying out for paper and postage every time.

Don't let your lack of qualifications put you off - at the end of the day a clear CV and supporting letter could well open doors for you.

Sunnysky2016 · 20/11/2016 03:17

I know a lot of people are saying 'care work' in a home for older people etc, but the reality is
A) very very few places will offer you '9-5', most are 12 hour shifts, so starting at 7:30am/8am
B) unless you can get days only, require you to work nights aswell
C) you would be required to work some bank holidays, Christmas etc so it's fair on all staff.

If you are looking at 'Dom care' roles (which I'm assuming you've been doing please say if I'm wrong)
A) you either have early starts/late finishes
B) again you still have the issues with bank holidays etc
C) I can't see how you would earn enough to pay for child care

The problem with care work is that ideally most parents would love to have these hours especially if they have dc in school aswell, but the reality is, often, unless you are very lucky, you need a support network around you (partner, parent etc) to help with unsociable hours.

Sorry if I've come across really blunt, I don't mean too, just that this has been my background for the last x amount of years (seems like forever), and if I had a £1 for every person that asks for this type of hours at interview I would be well off by now!
How about retail?
It's difficult to know what else without knowing what sort of area you life in- Town centre? City? Countryside? Do you drive? And so on.
Good luck OP

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 09:05

It's not blunt, this is really the issue I've been having. Dom care is minimum wage. I'd only make a profit of about £200 but added onto what I'm getting from rent it's enough to live off. And it's good experience.

I've applied to a few office based things like receptionist and so on and don't here back. Or you see a job that looks perfect and it's an agency. I don't mind working for an agency but I need to know I will get work every day as otherwise I'm paying for nursery and losing money.

There's not the support for care leavers you think. Maybe at first but not 6 years later.

OP posts:
atmhackersworl · 20/11/2016 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WaitrosePigeon · 20/11/2016 09:14

Day Nursery. The hours are 8am-6pm roughly. You could do part time or full time. Baby comes with you. You don't need any experience or qualifications for a day nursery. That's your best bet.

WaitrosePigeon · 20/11/2016 09:17

As you work in the same place that your baby is in you will get a reduced childcare rate.

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 09:22

I would love to work in a nursery but there's alot of competition. One of the girls I used to work with was a qualified nursery nurse and couldn't get a job.

OP posts:
GrabtharsHammer · 20/11/2016 09:35

If you'd like to work in a nursery I really would consider childminding. I was a CM for years and made really good money, and I loved the job.

It doesn't take long to get set up and you can get grants for the training I think.

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 09:37

Oh please don't go back to childminding lol. My flat isn't suitable I don't have the startup costs and I really dont want to do it.

OP posts:
J0kersSmile · 20/11/2016 09:51

Op there are always nursery jobs going. Maybe your friend didn't come across well in interview qualified or not.

You've got experience in care which will help, you will get a discount on the fees and get to work in the same place as your child. Have a look for a chain nursey like Busy Bees as they will take you on and train you up in return for your agreement to work there for x amount of time.

It is hard, care leaver and lone parent here too, it is doable though and you have got a steady £450 every month coming in.

J0kersSmile · 20/11/2016 09:56

Or go to uni, you've got a few years so get on an access course (you don't need gcses) you will get the uni fees funded although you might not get the maintenance loans as your assets. Get an appointment with the national careers service as well.

Open uni would mean a degree, no gcses to start and no childcare worries.

BadKnee · 20/11/2016 10:03

Don't sell the house. You are still fairly young and that is your security. Once it is gone it is gone. BUT you are right you need employment advice. (Some good suggestions here)

Some people seem to be forgetting that you have a property only because you lost your mother at 13 and do not have support, financial help or anything from parents.

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 10:04

hi well I have applied to a few nurseries. Not heard anything back. Maybe it's different depending on where you live. I have next to no education so I don't think I can just go to uni.

OP posts:
Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 10:05

that's it BadKnee. It's there. And it's not a mansion or anything it's just a terrace with a yard. My mum didn't have loads she wasn't rich or anything.

OP posts:
Littlelondoner · 20/11/2016 10:16

Look into doing an access course. Get you gcse equivilent qualifications. Then you can go onto nursing degrees. Most colleges have free nurserys or give vouchers out if you are unemployed.

This will certainly help you alot. Usually only a few days a week as well so you could get a cleaning job or something around it perhaps.

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 10:18

Look I do appreciate that and it's good for future.

But not right now. I don't even know if I'd Be able to pass.

OP posts:
Purplepixiedust · 20/11/2016 10:20

How much extra per month do you need to live on? Look at what your outgoings are and work it back. Is there anything you are spending now that you can reduce?

If you need say an extra 50 per week look at ways to war this by working from home. Could you perhaps get a couple of cleaning jobs (if private you can probably take your baby with you) and then sell something like Avon (again you can take baby). All you need to worry about for now is doing enough to make ends meet and then build on it.

Have a look on the moneysaving expert website forums. People on the thrifty board or debt free wannabe board are very good at living cheap. There is also an up your income board which might have some tips for you.

I wish you lots of luck.

Original poster
hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 10:25

Thanks I will have a look it's a bit worrying and lonely too being At home all the time

OP posts:
NoahVale · 20/11/2016 10:29

are there are supermarket jobs?
cleaning people's houses?
put lo in with child minder
school kitchen?

wevecomeonholidaybymistake · 20/11/2016 10:30

You do need qualifications to work in a nursery. I get a bit fed up of people suggesting child care to people who aren't qualified, like it's an easy option.

Most places you need at least a Level 3 qualification. There is a hell of a lot of paperwork to do and you have to have a sound knowledge of child development and how children learn.

It's not just sitting around playing all day.