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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what makes a man 'wet'?

28 replies

Helpme9 · 18/11/2016 16:33

So totally going to get flamed but I have a close member of my family who is a bit 'wet'. He is a loving man. Kind and caring his wife has asked me for advice. I think I kind of know the answer but I'm not with her 24/7 in their relationship. He holds a high powered job. However at home he likes his wife to take control and she said she's fed up of it. I said he might be tired after a 'controlling' day at work. However she is concerned he's started asking her to take control in the bedroom! At first she said it was exciting but she said she misses being chased and is always the instigator (which turns him on). I've met her in-laws a few times. His mother is a total control freak! She controls his father. So I've said to her (basic psychology) is he's just like his dad. She is also controlling though I don't think she sees it in her behaviour which I why I expect they're together. So she's said how do I get him to man up? The thing is I don't know what to say as to the outside world he is a hard working man in a high powered job! She is a SAHM to two lovely children. I kind of think he's lovely but I can see how the dynamics are upsetting her. Sorry it's a bit long. I've said you can't change him and she is BU thinking she can. I also don't think she could be with a controlling man as they would be at logger heads. Thoughts please?!

OP posts:
HummusForBreakfast · 18/11/2016 17:54

If what is turning him on is for her to be in charge, Im not sure how she can change that tbh.

The only advice is to talk, talk and talk again about wht they like doing, both of them and see if they can come to a compromise.
Thats for the sex part.

As for the rest of the time at home, its not about him giving her control, its more about him not wanting the responsibility and possibly her keeping the responsibilities 'because she is at home and therefore knows best' (how the dcs like xx, how to do yy etc...).
On that front, the only answer is for him to act like an adult and for her to give him the space to do so.

Helpme9 · 18/11/2016 18:57

Thanks for your help. Yes I'm thinking relationships would be better

OP posts:
Suppermummy02 · 18/11/2016 19:09

equality really is ...... equal.

Sounds like she wants to treated like a women. Doesn't that involve lying there and thinking of the Queen?

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