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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find this a bit unreasonable?

8 replies

lill72 · 18/11/2016 12:25

Organising a mothers group trip (mummies only) away by plane. One person always organises these things and the trip she plans is sort or organised around what works for her.

I feel as if I say that something doesn't suit me - ie trime to travel due to childcare issues and having to pay for a lot fore a lot of extra childcare - then I'm kicking up a big fuss. I just feel like I can't have a say, then end up having to go along with a plan that doesnt work so well to me. The others just go along with the plan blindly - well presumably as it suits them also.

Should I just go along with the majority to keep the peace or should I be allowed to state my case? This is a pattern I have noticed over a few times. The person organising has a knack of not being sensitive to other people's situations.

I know it's silly, but I dont know what to do.

OP posts:
ZoFloMoFo · 18/11/2016 12:29

Are you willing to step in and be "organiser" instead of her?

Or willing to say "you all go ahead without me, I'll organise my own flight and follow you later".

Because there's nothing worse than someone moaning that plans don't suit them then sitting back and expecting the organiser to research and rearrange alternatives.

TupsNSups · 18/11/2016 12:33

It must be frustrating for you BUT if everyone else is ok with it and can arrange their life and childcare to suit the rest of the group, whereas you are the only one with the problem, I think it is unfair to expect everyone else to change to suit just the one person.

lill72 · 18/11/2016 12:34

I have found an alternative later that Im happy with and they have said they are ok flying anytime but the organiser really wants to go earlier. I would be happy to organise it, but feel like no on gets onboard with me. Which is why I take a step back.

I was going to say you book and ill follow you later. Just dont want them to think im not a team player. but you are right - i should just do this.

OP posts:
PinkFloydFan · 18/11/2016 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lill72 · 18/11/2016 12:35

It is just because everyone else has husbands/nannies/grandparerents on hand to take over childcare, so it's always easier for them.

I have no family, except DH and as he contracts it is more expensive for him to take the day off than pay for a babysitter.

OP posts:
Bluebolt · 18/11/2016 12:37

Organisers generally have to go with the best option for most. When plans for trips/ events that are overly discussed have generally never happened or become more expensive very quickly for me.

lill72 · 18/11/2016 13:00

It's true bluebolt

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 18/11/2016 13:55

If they want to go earlier it's probably to make the most of the place you're going to.

Just get the later flight on your own or with any who also have childcare issues, and meet the majority there

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