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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not help out

15 replies

Popularcontrarian · 17/11/2016 10:08

I have a colleague who’s also a friend and she’s really put me in an awkward position.

Basically she asked me to do part of her job during my shift…I kindly said no and the reason I gave was because I have to leave work straight away and won’t have time to drop everything off for her before I leave and I offered that our security team do it for her.

She replied saying ‘oh crap no, I can’t do that. Why don’t you stop, halfway through your shift and, do this for me, it’ll only take 2 minutes?’ to which I politely replied that I couldn’t and offered a second alternative solution to her.

She then got annoyed with me and said that my second solution wouldn’t work because it would take too long for her to do and ‘wow, you must be really busy that you can’t take 2 min out to do this for me!’

I just said, ok cool, hope you get it sorted.

AIBU in not helping her out? I helped her with this same issue a couple of years ago and she obviously thinks a precedent has been set.

Also to add I’m 5 weeks pregnant and really don’t want to do anything that makes my day any longer or more difficult than it already is (but she doesn’t know I’m pregnant).

Why do I feel like the bad guy here? Am I mean to not have helped her out?

OP posts:
NoFucksImAQueen · 17/11/2016 10:10

Would it actually have only taken 2 minutes?

PenelopeFlintstone · 17/11/2016 10:11

Would it?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 17/11/2016 10:13

No YANBU at all

The argument people present when trying to get you to do something never adds up. If it only takes two minutes then WHY DON'T YOU DO IT YOURSELF

Can you tell I get this all the time Wink

Original poster
Popularcontrarian · 17/11/2016 10:15

No, it wouldn't only take two minutes.

It would mean at least 20 minutes minimum. It would involve to-ing and fro-ing from one location back to my office and my office is right at the very end of a large building with a min walk of 3.5 minutes each way. It would also lead to other interruptions in my shift/workflow in order to accommodate this as these particular things are never straight forward.

Plus the particular job is a core element of our role and not something that should be delegated to a colleague in case something went missing as I might be liable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Popularcontrarian · 17/11/2016 10:16

She lives a 1.5 hour drive away from work and doesn't want to have to come in especially to do this

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 17/11/2016 10:17

I wouldn't have done it either, regardless of pregnancy. If this favour could have landed you in trouble with work nope no way would I touch it.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 17/11/2016 10:30

Ok. It's twenty minutes. Yes, I would put myself out for twenty minutes for a friend.

But I'd let them know it was 20 minutes - not 2

Original poster
Popularcontrarian · 17/11/2016 10:32

See the thing is, my 'shift' (for want of a better word without saying what my job is), is only 2 hours. So I have two hours to get through a load of work and if I take 20 minutes out of 2 hours, that's a lot of my time

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 17/11/2016 10:33

If it was an actual 2 minute job then I'd have said YABU.
But as you've said it was actually a much bigger job that she was shrinking in size to make it sound less of an issue, no YANBU.

Some people are just lazy and like to push their work onto other people.

DementedUnicorn · 17/11/2016 12:00

For the sake of 20 minutes of your precious time, this woman will have to do a 3hour round trip? Have I understood that properly?!

If so, I certainly wouldn't consider you're her friend!

Ahickiefromkinickie · 17/11/2016 12:07

YANBU. This is your employer's problem not yours.

Why haven't they made arrangements for this work to form part of someone's duties when this woman is not on duty?

It's annoying for her to do a 3 hour round trip but she needs to take it to management instead of expecting you to stretch yourself to make things convenient for the company.

She should be annoyed with her employers, not you.

Original poster
Popularcontrarian · 17/11/2016 12:19

Dementedunicorn I gave her two alternative solutions that wouldn't involve me having to do it or her having to do round trip but neither of them were good enough for her.

The second solution I offered is one I do myself in such situations.

OP posts:
7SunshineSeven7 · 17/11/2016 12:23

YANBU - as you've said it would take a longer time.

Fair enough that she asked you but you said no and she should accept that and either use the solutions you've provided or speak to her manager about doing it at home or something.

If you're only working 2hours and she wants you to use up 20 minutes for her, is it really possible for you to do your work in 16% less time? I doubt it.

7SunshineSeven7 · 17/11/2016 12:23

YANBU - as you've said it would take a longer time.

Fair enough that she asked you but you said no and she should accept that and either use the solutions you've provided or speak to her manager about doing it at home or something.

If you're only working 2hours and she wants you to use up 20 minutes for her, is it really possible for you to do your work in 16% less time? I doubt it.

MaisyPops · 17/11/2016 12:27

**DementedUnicorn -
It's easy to suggest the OP isn't a friend for not jumping but I'd say the woman is hardly a friend if she's putting unfair demands on somebody.

Timetabling jobs to be done is they employers problem. The OP has offered to help but was told her offers weren't good enough. The woman can take it up with her boss.

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