AIBU to really, really hate Christmas. My mother died just after Christmas, my father died the day after his birthday on the 21st Dec, just before Christmas. Both my dds were born in December, just before Christmas, and my eldest has severe physical and learning disabilities which completely preclude any possibility of a jolly Christmas. You just can't be completely and carelessly jolly when you have a sick child - and in the following years when she reaches adulthood, a daughter who has no speech or understanding of occasion, and responds badly to changes in routine.
We have had far flung family come visit for the three days over xmas, but they are generally a bit taken aback at the limitations of freedom that having a daughter with LD commits us to. My daughter gets a bit stressed when her space is being invaded. ( 16 extra people, at times)
MIL: " should she be going up to bed soon?"
Me : No. She's 30 years old. It's 8.30pm.
MIL: But she seems a bit unhappy. And tired.
Me: I can't just take her to bed because she's being disruptive.
She's disruptive all the time. I can't put her out of the way
to suit present company.
FIL "Does she have to make that awful wailing noise all the time?"
Me "She does it when she's upset. She's upset now because her
house, her safe haven, is full of strangers.
MIL : But she doesn't seem very happy. Perhaps if you put her to bed
she would settle down.
(No she wouldn't, but only I know that.
She would be even more unhappy because she wouldn't know what
the feck was going on - being locked in her bedroom at 8.30pm?
Never happened before, so why now?) It would be a total mystery to her. Loads of people invading her space, and then HER being the one
to get kicked out of it, to make it more comfortable for everybody else.
Fuck that for a game of soldiers.
Fuck off out of her house then, if you don't like it.
Fucking look after her for 30 fucking years, and then see how fucking
easy it is to put her out of the fucking way so you can enjoy a game of fucking scrabble with the family without her sending the fucking tiles scattering everywhere. You only have to put up with it at Christmas.
We fucking LIVE with it - every DAY.
So now I feel lots better. I've got most of it off my chest. I am willing to bet, however, that there are a lot of parents out there who can totally empathise.
Christmas can be very draining. Even if you have a perfectly lovely family and normal kids, I'm assured by friends that it's never what the telly adverts would have you believe.
I really really fucking hate Christmas, and I will only relax when it's over.