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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this cruel and can I feed him?

111 replies

Chipscheesentomatosauce · 16/11/2016 07:16

I heard the guy from the flat next door go out about 12.30 this morning. Shortly after i heard his cat crying to be let in, then it stopped. Just as I was dozing back off, i could hear a weird intermittent banging noise in the close. It woke me as I dozed off a couple of times and I looked though the peephole, couldn't see anything. 6.15 the crying and banging woke me again. It's his poor cat jumping at the door handle. The guys gone out and left it locked out all night.

When I heard him go out earlier, he didn't sound to be in a rush and was chatting quite normally to whoever he was with, so i'm assuming he's not gone out in some emergency. Obviously I could be wrong and hopefully this will be a one off.

I know cats are quite self sufficient, but he's only started letting this poor cat out in the last couple of months. Isn't this cruel, to go out and leave him locked out all night? Should I leave him a bowl of milk? Can they have semi skimmed? The noise has been doing my head and ruined my sleep, but mostly I feel so bloody sorry for it! I've not had a cat since I was little, but he seems quite distressed to me.

OP posts:
musicghostly · 16/11/2016 08:15

Our cat has just spend a solid day and night crying for food because he decided he's gone off the dry food he has loved up until now, and I'd run out of wet. The neighbours almost certainly think I'm starving him! I even tried throwing away the dried food every few hours and replacing it with new fresh dried, but no, he wasn't having it.

Just before 8pm last night I gave in as I couldn't bear another night of it and went to Pets at Home to get some wet Sheba. This is the only thing he is willing to eat at present. Next week it will be something different. The week after he will decide he only likes dry food after all.

Cats can be con artists. Please don't feed one that isn't yours. Mention it to the neighbour so he knows it's been doing this.

pregnantat50 · 16/11/2016 08:24

My mums cat was a rescue cat, he had lived wild for at least 4 months when the rescue centre found him. He was in a terrible state (kidney problems) but he was nursed back to health and he is very happy with my mum.

He was self sufficient during that time and my mum has found many a squirrel being left on her rug as a gift from Wolfie (if he can catch a squirrel he can catch anything!, although I love squirrels so was a little upset by his constant gifts)

Strangely though he never ever drinks water, when we mentioned this to the vet, they said they can get their water from the wet food (special diet) and also from the moisture on grass etc.

The cat is probably wanting to be warm and snuggled bless him.

I would definitely have a gentle word with the owner, who may be unaware how distressed the cat is when he goes out. Maybe ask what the cats diet is so you can feed him the next time (if there is one) and as someone else said a litter tray and a cat flap, that way the little fella has a choice to be in or out and you are not catnapping your neigbours pussy

xx

pregnantat50 · 16/11/2016 08:27

It is also said that cats choose their owners...and an example of this I can share is when my friends kept having 2 visitors via their old cat flap. They would appear walk in and settle on their sofa for a nap, have some affection and then go home for dinner, appearing later for more cuddles, a bizarre situation, but one both owner and friend were OK with. One of the cats has now permanently moved in with them but the other returns home each night.

honkawonka · 16/11/2016 08:36

Never knew that about milk, I'm 99% we fed ours milk when I was a child Confused

Unicorn34 · 16/11/2016 08:36

My 3 cats have access to the outdoors during the day, but the cat flap is locked at night and they are not allowed out. I would have been upset by this cat, and probably would have put out a bowl of water and something comfy for it to sit on (possibly in a box so it felt safe). Please have a word with the neighbour as he probably has no idea that his cat would get so upset, and as a previous post said, the cat may not have been around to let in when your neighbour went out. (Give the cat a cuddle too!)

VimFuego101 · 16/11/2016 08:39

If you feed it, it will realize you're a soft touch and yowl outside your door every morning Grin

Original poster
Chipscheesentomatosauce · 16/11/2016 08:43

I've put out a box and towel and some water. The cat definitely wasn't in the close when I left for work, and both close doors were closed, so someone must have taken him in. I knocked the ca owners door, but no answer. I also asked the girl downstairs as I knew she was up getting her daughter out to school and she said she's heard him, but not taken him in.

His flats only rented so he won't be allowed a cat flap. He shouldn't be letting the cat out anyway, because the only way it can get back in he building is for him to leave the communal back door open. We don't live in the greatest area and the police were out at the property behind our garden just last night, and another neighbours door got kicked in a fortnight ago, so I'm not comfortable with the door being open. But that's another thread, eh?

OP posts:
AliceInUnderpants · 16/11/2016 08:51

For all you know the cat came out with him at 12.30, so it'd been out for like 7 hours? I'm pretty sure it'll survive without food for 7 hours. Or it'll, yunno, find some?

WTF would you feed a strangers pet? You have no idea of its dietary requirements!

SpunkyMummy · 16/11/2016 08:53

Our cat used to cry all night in the garden after I moved in with my then boyfriend (now DH). For several months.

The little critter had food, water, was cuddled, could have come inside... and yet she still didnt. Some neighbours even mentioned it and i was honestly afraid somebody would call animal welfare or something.

Some water or a towel to lie on? Why not. But 'just' because a cat is making a rucket doesn't mean she's in any kind of danger.

Nowadays the cat doesn't get to be inside during the night. however, she has access to food, shelter, a cat bed and our garden is cat proofed (no other cat or other similarly size animal could come and eat away her food, threaten her). But the cat won't be harmed by one night outside...

stonecircle · 16/11/2016 08:56

I'm not sure I understand the set up, but if you're saying the cat is left in communal areas without being able to get into the flat or outside then that's not on. Cats can always find water outside but not if they're stuck in a hallway.

Clandestino · 16/11/2016 08:58

I have a neighbour who "kindly" feeds my poor starving cat.

I had a neighbour who did that. A kind elderly lady who must have felt sorry for the poor little fluffy cat who was permanently pregnant for over two years she knew her.
Mind you, my very shy cat came home the day before yesterday smelling of bacon. Not sure if this was self-service or one of the neighbours he knows and trusts (not many around) wanted to say thank you for the excellent pest control services.
I am split on the milk. My cats both love milk and have no problem digesting it. They prefer fresh cream though. And robbing whipped cream from desserts.

TheCatsMother99 · 16/11/2016 09:01

I wouldnt feed anyone else's cat. I had an old lady doing this to an old cat of mine, because she fed him a chicken roast rather than actual cat food the cat preferred going there, it got to the point where we hardly saw him and then it turned out she often locked him in her house during the day and only let him back out at night (when he would then come back to my house and usually threw up the roast dinner she had cooked him).

If the cat outside is really disturbing your sleep and distressing you I'd just have a word with your neighbour and tell them their cat spends all night trying to get in.

TheCatsMother99 · 16/11/2016 09:02

On the milk thing.... a lot of cats are lactose intolerant, which is why you shouldn't give them milk as you don't know if they're one of the majority that are.

jaffacakesaremyfave · 16/11/2016 09:07

YABU! You have seen his cat once outside all night, it probably followed him on his way out. If it looked malnourished, beaten etc then by all means contact the RSPCA, but being outside all night isn't going to do it any harm, most cats want to be outside at night. You giving it milk is more likely to harm it!!

My nosy neighbour recently put a picture of my long haired cat on Facebook looking very bedraggled as he had been out all night in the rain with some arsey comment about does he have a home! He is clearly well fed and has a collar on and we've had him the whole time we've lived there!

If he runs outside at night and doesn't come back when I call him then I'm afraid he's going to have to spend the night outside. Same if he runs out while I'm leaving for work. I've actually had texts from another neighbour saying my cat is on their doorstep whilst at I'm at work, thinking I'm actually going to commute all the way back to let him in Hmm

I can't stand busy bodies who think they have the right to interfere with other people's pets when they clearly don't know how to look after said pet either!!!

It's none of your business unless you think serious abuse is going on! I guarantee your neighbour will think you're being precious if you tell him to keep his cat in at night

Emmageddon · 16/11/2016 09:08

My cats continually cry for food, even though they are fed regularly and with good quality cat food. They are just greedy manipulative bastards but I love the pair of them dearly. I wouldn't start feeding the cat, personally, he/she will survive just fine.

SpunkyMummy · 16/11/2016 09:10

My cat always tries to drink/eat anything containing milk or fish. I have to protect my mugs of tea from her. (Also because tea is actually poisonous to cats).

Which is why we've started to give her 'cat tea'. It's just milky water in her water bowl... she loves it and has never had any issues...

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 16/11/2016 09:13

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. The other flats in my building have a common door - mine is at the back (and hallelujah for that - again, another thread...). The couple upstairs (moved out now) had a cat which they would let out and then forget to let back in. I spotted it from my ground floor window and it was looking at me so sorrowfully that I took water out. Unfortunately (or not, because I have a secret affection for cats, despite being a 'dog' person); every time I opened my window, the little git would jump through, having made a new pal!

Coming home to find an un-named cat snoozing on your bed is a little weird!

Clandestino · 16/11/2016 09:14

My cat always tries to drink/eat anything containing milk or fish. I have to protect my mugs of tea from her.

My DH was forced to start cleaning his unfinished cereals when we found out that the younger chubster is finishing the leftover milk. We were wondering why the little monster isn't losing weight despite being put on a cat weight watchers diet till he found her on the table, leisurely lapping up milk from his bowl.

SpunkyMummy · 16/11/2016 09:17

Clandestino

Ah, cats 😂😂 they keep us on our toes.
Sneaky little buggers 😊 They're so awesome 😍

Original poster
Chipscheesentomatosauce · 16/11/2016 09:18

I'm not going to tell him to keep it in, but the rules of the close are that all communal doors should be locked at all times, that was my piont. And I don't care who thinks I'm a busy body. Hes gone out in the middle of the night and who knows when he'll be back home, and his young cat seems upset as it can't get in. And I'm not just chucking any old food at his cat! I did ask advice and I've taken it, by just leaving out a towel and water.

To the PP who asked about the close. Someone must have now closed the back door, but yes, there is a front and back door to the close, so the cat is not always guaranteed to be able get back in if someone quite rightly shuts door over again.

Thanks for the more rational replies.

OP posts:
Meemolly · 16/11/2016 09:22

Not your cat, not your business. If you are concerned ring the RSPCA. I wish my neighbours had not fed our cat.

Clandestino · 16/11/2016 09:23

SpunkyMummy, she is extremely traumatised at the moment. The older cat got himself a very badly infected eye and has to take pain relief and antibiotic drops into his eye four times a day (I wonder how come my fingers are still intact because I'm the one administering it, DH is too much of a coward). So we bought him sachets of wet food at the vets as a treat. Of course, the chubster wants to be fed the wet food too but we want to limit whatever we can influence she is eating so she's only getting the granules. The look on her face when she only saw one plate with food was incredible. She was sitting there like a statue of a deeply traumatised and insulted feline, feeling all sorry for herself.
She paid me back the next night when I woke up at half two in the morning because there was someone lying on my shoulder, licking my eyeball.

Clandestino · 16/11/2016 09:24

Hes gone out in the middle of the night and who knows when he'll be back home, and his young cat seems upset as it can't get in.

Have a strict word with him. You are good not to feed the cat and only giving it something to get warm and some water, unless the cat doesn't look visibly starving, it shouldn't be fed.

Justaboy · 16/11/2016 09:26

Our old puss is a brilliant actress shes always on the cadge for more food and i do reckon that someone else feeds her as well.

Perhaps best OP if you either report it to the RSPCA or ask them for advice of have a word or leave to note for the cat owner?.

Suppose as they do the cat will choose his/her staff!

Sonders · 16/11/2016 09:28

OP cats are assholes, they just are. My cat will paw at any closed door during the night, regardless of what's on the other side. It's really freakin' annoying.

Your neighbour's cat is perfectly fine, just let them know when they're back that he's been disturbing you and the other residents, and ask if he can double check that he's in a night.