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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a baby's sole purpose in life is to steal your sleep

37 replies

MrsMcAvoy · 16/11/2016 00:25

Currently sat on the floor of my 9 month old DS's bedroom while he rolls around his cot whinging. I REFUSE to bring him into bed with me. Someone tell me he will go to sleep soon...

OP posts:
Dazedandconfusedtoomuchpeppa · 16/11/2016 04:56

16 month old seems to like waking up at 4. Now he's asleep and I'm awake Confused . Work will be fun.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 16/11/2016 05:29

From a scientific point of view, as well as a cultural one, your babies sole purpose is to carry your bloodline to the next generation.

Stealing your sleep, getting unwell, throwing temper tantrums in the supermarket, becoming a "whatever" teenager then going out with a totally unsuitable boyfriend is a by product that is made worthwhile when you become a grandmum....

Here endeth the useless lesson...

In the meanwhile, you have my sympathy...

MamaLyon · 16/11/2016 05:38

Mrs McVoy... I know your pain. Last week I posted similar about my 7 month old. I hated co sleeping as like you I'm a light sleeper, but I eventually got so exhausted I gave in. DD2 now only wakes 1 or 2 times a night (as opposed to 3/4/5. Poor daddy has been relegated to the spare room and mummy's sleep isn't the same as pre-baby but my sanity is returning. Maybe consider giving it a try if you get desperate. Good luck!

MrsMcAvoy · 16/11/2016 08:09

I eventually gave in at 2.15 and laid him on the spare bed next to me. He shuffled about for a bit, laughed at me, and then fell asleep. He slept until 6.15 this morning.

I feel bad for giving in but he'd been crying solidly for a good hour with no signs of stopping even when I stroked his head/patted him etc.

Eurgh. Was going to try and get a quick nap in this morning but have a dentist appointment so that's not going to happen!

Hope some of you had a better night

OP posts:
MrsMcAvoy · 16/11/2016 08:17

Just had a quick read and that article is very interesting absofriggin, I know so many people are against co sleeping and just want the baby in their own room as soon as possible. I think we are just forced into thinking it's such a bad idea to have them get used to the comfort of their parents. DS has never self settled, I can't see him doing it anytime soon either!

OP posts:
Absofrigginlootly · 16/11/2016 16:54

mrsmc yes I agree, it's a very western idea (particularly UK and USA) that babies and toddlers should become as independent as soon as possible because our cultures values independence.... Interestingly we have some of the highest numbers of mental illness in childhood....

Babies are supposed to want to be close to mum, as that article shows, its down to basic physiology and neurobiology.

I went round in circles for the first 6-7 weeks of DDs life trying desperately to get her to sleep in her cot instead of attached to the boob (what she wanted) because I was made to believe it was what I 'should' be doing and I was always told that cosleeping was a no no for SIDS. Mainly I was confused because my instincts were telling me I blister to my baby and give her what she needed (along with what I had studies about cognitive developmental neuroscience and attachment in my degree) but extreme sleep deprivation (DD had cmpa, silent reflux, soy allergy, TT and colic!!!) and an interfering DM and MIL I couldn't think straight.

When I stopped trying to fight against my DD and just give her what she wanted then everything got easier.

I think so much of what makes sleep deprivation so much harder is Unreaslistic expectations. Western cultures are obsessed with babies sleeping through and sleep is a billion pound industry.... If that many babies have 'sleep problems' then maybe our expectations are just wrong??

Also, when you actually start to look into safe cosleeping you realise that it's not dangerous if done safely and in fact research suggests safe cosleeping with a fully breastfed baby is actually protective against sids.

There are sleep regressions at 4 months, 8-9 months, 12 months, 18 months and 2 years (thereabouts)... Sounds like you're currently enjoying the 9 months one...??

I'll attach some links you might find helpful ...

This too shall pass!!! Smile

Absofrigginlootly · 16/11/2016 16:55

*telling me to listen (not blister!)

Batteriesallgone · 16/11/2016 17:00

Share a bed. If you can't sleep with a baby wriggling next to you you clearly aren't tired enough WinkGrin

It's not giving in its being loving. I find it sad that our language around babies has such an 'us and them' feel to it. Baby loves you, you love baby...feed the baby, hold the baby.

Absofrigginlootly · 16/11/2016 17:05

www.llli.org/sweetsleepbook/thesafesleepseven

That Q&A link above talks all about how to set up a safe cosleeping environment - it needs to be planned for rather than just happen accidentally for it to be as safe as possible...

This link helps you test your mattress for safety:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=9u-IUzGao2U&feature=youtu.be

MrsMcAvoy · 16/11/2016 17:43

Thanks Abso I will have a read of those when I'm getting him to sleep later. (I like to have something to read while he's attached to me) Grin

I think tonight I will just have him sleep with me and see how we get on. I must admit, when I brought him into bed with me he slept from 2.15 until 6.15 which is a very long stretch of sleep by his standards!

OP posts:
TweeBee · 16/11/2016 17:47

No, OP the purpose is for them to give you DGC so when they say their DC kept them up all night you can smirk and tell them they were just the same. Well, that's my DM's take on it Smile

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