MIL and sneaky treats

[LovelyBath77]

I generally get on OK with my MIL but today, ooh, I'm cross with her. She doesn't seem to respect me as a parent. She keeps bringing the children big, family size choc bars and I'm trying to keep us healthy (reasonable enough I think). so I asked her please just to give them a small treat at weekends. However on the walk to school today my son (8) told me she had given them money instead, told them I didn't want them having choc and they could but their own with the money! Not sure what to do now.

I guess it depends how regularly it's happening. My FIL always allows my 7 year old to buy 2 full size sweets which he would allow her to eat one after the other (which is excessive in my opinion and not something I ever let her do!) We have asked him not to and to only let her have one but he just point blank ignores us. So she now chooses 2, eats one then saves the other to take home. We don't see him super regularly, maybe one or twice a month so it's not a massive issue. Could you let them buy the big bar, and put it in a cupboard and let them eat it over a few sittings?

A pound each week is a monthly magazine which will have games and articles in, a toy, possibly a sweet too. Certainly worth saving up for!

It doesn't sound as if you are going to be happy no matter what your MIL does tbh, OP. Surely they don't eat a large bar in one sitting, as a PP said just break it up over the week? What about using the money to buy a one-off ice cream or cake instead? I would rather buy food that can be thrown away if necessary rather than the poundshop treasures which will take over the house

Is there a particular reason that you have such a strong opinion on 'bad' foods that is behind this?

How often is this happening? I don't think I'd be worried if it was just once a week as it's pretty easy to adjust their diet around it. Also, far better on their teeth for them to gorge in one sitting than snack on and off all week.

What else do they sell at the shop? Unfortunately, 8 years olds find it harder than adults to resist the lure of instant gratification. Perhaps buy them a sticker album or some trading cards and encourage them to spend the £1 on expanding their sticker/card collections.

Well, it is every week on a Saturday. What happened was they stayed for dinner, then she said I'll go give them their pocket money (they do give them a bit of money at weekends). So must have done it then, while the rest of us were in the kitchen! Naughty. Thanks for the ideas. They do have bank accounts, in their name and also savings accounts.

I can speak to them more about healthy eating. We get the usual sugar advice leaflets from school, but there also seem to be many cake sales after school for various things as well! They are old enough to know about that now, but as with us all it's sometimes tricky to stop when you have one of those big bars, isn't it. So keeping it somewhere might be good.

I'm starting to take any stuff left after the weekend to the Food Bank drop off, so at least we're healthy in the week. I only take fruit after school for a treat, usually.

My eldest said Granny's so kind, always bringing us sweets. Hmm.

"I don't think I'd be worried if it was just once a week as it's pretty easy to adjust their diet around it. Also, far better on their teeth for them to gorge in one sitting than snack on and off all week."

Yep- I think that's what we can possibly do, matter of fact they're going for fissure sealant treatment at the dentists after school, might be useful!

"Is there a particular reason that you have such a strong opinion on 'bad' foods that is behind this?"

Yes- possibly. I have started being much healthier recently and cutting down carbs and sugar, and in doing so have seen how much better I feel without it, healthier etc. I don't have those cravings anymore, which I can see starting particularly in my youngest who has a sweet tooth. We do need to take care with their health don't we? I don't want him having to battle with food cravings like I did. Or to see food as a 'treat' that kind of thinking can be hard to break out of. IYSWIM. Eldest I'm not so worried about, as he seems to take it of leave it. But I can see with my youngest it's becoming something he asks for etc and I'd like to try and nip that in the bud if possible.

Ok I agree it's fine to give them money, but not to tell them they can spend it on the big bars of choc.

That's part of being a nan though, spoiling your Grandchildren.

No, being a nan is loving your grandchildren and respecting the wishes of the children's parents whether you like it or not. I hate these posts about how grandparents can go over the heads of the parents simply because they're allowed to ''spoil'' them. If grandparents can't follow the reasonable rules and requests put forward by the parents then they shouldn't be left in charge of the children.