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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suspect my nanny is drugging my child?

314 replies

Bambooshoot · 13/11/2016 22:29

I have a nanny for my son who is now eighteen months old, she has been with us since he was ten months old. I recently noticed that the level of the emergency bottle of Calpol had gone down dramatically and I know we have not given him any. I put a mark on the bottle to see if it would go down any further, and sure enough, it has. She is the only other person in the house. Is it possible for Calpol to evaporate over time, or is she giving it to him and not telling me/writing it in the book? If so, would IBU to sack her on the spot for endangering his health, in that we could have come home from work and given him another dose without realising? I suppose she could be taking it herself, at a stretch - I just think this is a pretty serious allegation and I don't want to upset the relationship by suggesting she is giving it to him if it can just dry up anyway?

OP posts:
Excited101 · 14/11/2016 00:06

I wish the weird/rude replies on here were unusual but it seems to be all the threads at the moment.

I hope you find out what's going on op, it's a medicine not a sweetie and should only ever be given when needed and should be clearly documented.

Original poster
Bambooshoot · 14/11/2016 00:07

There was never any suggestion I would go to A&E, quite obviously because my child in not in any immediate danger. I would hope to never be that "some twat".

All I can say is thank you for all the people that have answered my question.

OP posts:
Meadows76 · 14/11/2016 00:09

Because I don't know any HCP that would recommend a parent concerned that their child may have had a drugs overdose shouldn't seek medical attention. neither do I. However there is NO concern that the child has had an overdose.

Sweets101 · 14/11/2016 00:10

Ah, fair enough then.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/11/2016 00:11

Surely if the nanny wanted to drug the kid she would just buy a bottle of calpol, instead of using the one provided and monitored by the parents?

avamiah · 14/11/2016 00:13

Sweats101,
LoL

avamiah · 14/11/2016 00:14

Sweets
Lol

kormachameleon · 14/11/2016 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 14/11/2016 00:28

crashdoll ofcourse it could work for your friend, it's paracetamol

Really unfair to label your nanny 'drugging your son'.
For all you know she's spilt it, the bottle is faulty or she had it herself.
Maybe she can't take tablets??( didn't think of that?)
You have no proof that this is her at all. Feeling sorry for the nanny.

paxillin · 14/11/2016 00:28

You possibly mean me, kormachameleon. I said:

Calpol is, however, a weak paracetamol solution. I was talking about adults and mention the word adult several times. It was not advice, nor incorrect or dangerous.

5BlueHydrangea · 14/11/2016 00:30

I agree Korma An overdose of paracetomol can cause liver failure and death. People think 'its only paracetomol' but seriously it can be toxic stuff. I've seen professionally the harm it can do.
OP is right to be concerned about the situation.

Thingiebob · 14/11/2016 00:52

You are right to be concerned that somebody. in a position of care is administering drugs to your toddler and not informing you. You could easily double dose in error. Ask your nanny if this is what she is doing and remind her to inform you/record it.

Ignore the idiotic posters suggesting this is nothing and ridiculing you.

Bogeyface · 14/11/2016 00:55

Well given that its extremely unlikely that she is taking it herself, as if she cant take tablets she is likely to buy her own and it has no other effects, I would say that YANBU to assume that she is giving it to your child and not telling you.

Its going somewhere, lets face it!

Personally I would give notice and remove the Calpol from the house because once the trust has gone with someone who you are placing your child with then I dont think that there is any coming back from that.

Florathefern · 14/11/2016 01:05

The OP can't 'give notice' to the girl without asking her what happened!

This isn't actually about Calpol at all though is it? The OP doesn't trust her nanny. Therefore, she needs to build up a case of events that she can use to dismiss her employee.

I suggest doing just that but perhaps if you don't think your child is in immediate danger, I would suggest waiting until after Christmas for both you and the nanny's benefit.

Personally I wouldn't give 'warnings' etc as you will feel uneasy leaving your child in her care. I would give her a month's pay in lieu.

Bogeyface · 14/11/2016 01:17

Actually she can if the nanny has been there less than a year.

cerealnamechangers · 14/11/2016 01:24

So are you going to ask her or not op?

OlennasWimple · 14/11/2016 01:26

You mentioned a few other things that weren't quite right - are these serious enough to undermine your trust in her?

If your DS likes her and you would ideally keep her on, perhaps you can jsut say to her something like "I noticed that the Calpol has gone down very quickly in the last week - have you been giving it to DS?" and see what she says and how she reacts. If she says that she has been giving it to him, you can reiterate that she has to document this for you. If she denies all knowldge, you have a problem and can proceed to terminate.

Florathefern · 14/11/2016 01:34

Ok Bogey while she can, I meant it seems very unfair. I would not like to walk into work in the morning to be told I was being let go, without being given an explanation or a chance to defend my alleged misconduct. Would you?

Ahickiefromkinickie · 14/11/2016 01:49

avamiah

You're troll hunting.
Don't bother replying I've reported your post.

Matchingbluesocks · 14/11/2016 02:12

I don't know why people think calpol makes them drowsy (they do; mil has spent half the day telling me to drug one of my children to sleep and calpol was one of the milder options)
I would expect a nanny to call you before administering it for permisson as nurseries do so yanbu. Sounds like you have other issues with her too

Bogeyface · 14/11/2016 02:19

matching it seems to depend on the child. 2 of mine were knocked out by it, even when it was administered for non fever pain relief, but the other 4 weren't.

Matchingbluesocks · 14/11/2016 02:26

How can paracetamol knock a child or anyone out though? It's not a sedative. As a PP said it will let them sleep if pain ha keeping them awake but don't understand how it would send them off to sleep

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/11/2016 02:32

I can't imagine thinking my nanny might be dosing my child with medicine and instead of speaking to nanny/removing medicine I would mark the bottle and see if more was given to my child?! WTAF is that about!

Fwiw if calpol did make children sleepy/drowsy/more complaint I expect they'd shift a few more units than the do now. It relieves pain due to the paracetemol. Paracetemol overdoses can be catastrophic. A few spoons for teething pain given according to the dosage is fine.

If you don't trust her give her notice. Don't start laying traps Miss Marple-style with your child as part of the bait.

Florrieboo · 14/11/2016 02:37

2.5ml missing or 2.5cm gone from the bottle?

TheMaddHugger · 14/11/2016 02:42

even simple Panadol can be potentially a huge risk to an infant. Huge

(((((((((((Hugs))))))))))) OP