I just want to cry my eyes out

[calliiee]

Every time I try to explain I can't. And I just make it all worse.

People are getting cross, because you keep starting threads today with the barest of details and refuse to answer any questions. People can't help if you aren't willing to give any information.

Who is calling you names, calliiee?

Who is calling you names? Not on this thread.

Nobody is calling you names. However, you do have to appreciate that there are thousands and thousands of users of this forum. If you start a thread with no information whatsoever, you can't expect people to remember you from previous posts (I think I remember you from the £500 post, but I cannot be sure). People might want to give you advice and support, but they are not able to because you don't give any details. It does sound like you want some support, so maybe it would be a good idea to open up a little bit (nothing identifying of course). If you do, chances are you will get some really valuable and helpful advice, maybe from people who have been in the same situation as you before.

Hey calliiee I've seen your threads and I think you are struggling horribly with lots of things in your life right now for many reasons. We've all done it, well I have anyway, floundering and thinking - if only I looked ok, lived in the right place, had this that or the other.

Just try and pick ONE THING. One thing that you would like to change that would make a difference to YOU and how you feel.

So for example, I have had the most AWFUL year in my personal/family life. Therefore I am just concentrating on staying upright and not going bonkers. And looking after my son. The rest can wait.

OP so sorry things are difficult for you. Maybe start a new thread but not in AIBU? Give only the details you are comfortable giving. name change if you want.

And even if you want to be vague and only talk about your feelings there will be posters who will listen.

But I absolutely agree with others suggesting the Samaritans. They will be patient and kind, help you sort your thoughts if you want them to, listen, or simply be with you while you feel bad. MN is fantastic but talking to a real person can help you feel someone cares. And they will have no expectations.

But if you don't feel like doing anything, I promise you that feeling so bad will pass. Take care

Callie, nobody is calling you names.
Are you okay ?
What can we help you with ? 😀

It sounds like you have PTSD with respect to the incident with this person. Your reaction is fairly typical to one seeing a past abuser or perpetrator.

Did you get Counseling when the event/events occurred? Can you contact that counsellor and say that person is now free and you need help immediately? Are you safe from them physically and only mentally unsafe. Not saying this is good but if you are physically ok that is good at least and you can start a mantra to yourself that you are safe and ok.

Calling a help line will assist you in working it out. Having a friend in real life to talk to would be great as well. They will understand when they know. You don't have to tell them the full story, just a snippet ie asshatbwho abused me is out of prison and I saw him and it has mad me flash back and made me fear for my safety. With very thing else it's the straw that's broken me. Most caring friends will be more then willing to help out.