Would it be so terrible to skip birthday cake at a party?

[TiredBefuddledRose]

Hello, it's my twin daughters' 7th birthday party next weekend in a community centre with 40 kids invited (about 20 of who.have rsvp'd so far).
The twins' actual birthday is on Wednesday this week where they will have a big family meal out and a birthday cake each (they're very adamant they want their own cake which is fair enough) which we're bound to have lots leftover from.
Then for the party on Saturday I was thinking about buying a couple of those traybake style birthday cakes for them to blow the candles out on with their friends.
Asda do some where they're already pre sliced into 15 cubes which makes it easier for putting into paper bags.
However with the usual non rsvp'ers is I'd have to buy at least 3, possibly 4 as some of the families coming like to bring all the siblings but if only the actual 20 who replied turned up that's a lot of leftover cake on top of whatever is left over from Wednesday.
After seeing Mum's on other threads moaning about party cake just being all mashed up and grosse in napkins and others having a 'nice cake' to blow out then pre wrapped cupcakes in the party bags then other mum's moaning that's bad form etc I was wondering if I would be really awful to just not bother with birthday cake at all at the party esp since the twins would have had their proper cakes a few days beforehand?
I'm (reasonably) sure my girls wouldn't care but would the other kids?
I've already forgone the traditional party bags for sweet kebabs.

(and yes I know I'm massively overthinking this)

How else would everybody know when it's time to leave?

can't they eat the cake at the party???
Tray bake is fine

I think my daughter would be gutted if there was no cake! Although surely you don't need to provide cake for any but the actual invitees? I would never provide cake for siblings unless some left cover. Even if like the 9 year old at my daughters party they stand there staring when they are old enough to know better!

Toomanycats I am a total softy pushover and would feel bad for excluding kids just because their parents are being 'rude' and bringing other kids along to join in.

I guess I'm getting a couple of traybakes then, they could eat it at the party but there's lots of sweet stuff in the buffet already and the entertainer has already told me when the slot for singing happy birthday is! Lol 😁

Cakes not important, the kids won't even notice.....they will know it's time to leave when you hand out party bags...

You have to have birthday cake at a birthday party. It's the law.

Get two tray bakes, one for each twin. Quick happy birthday/ candle blowing then serve out cake onto napkins for those who want it. Not all the guests will want it so there should be plenty. If it looks as though you might not have enough, ie more guests came than expected then just cut smaller slices. Any left over offer to any lurking parent or put it in the bin.

Oh you have to sing happy birthday and blow out the candles - it's all part of the deal! I'll admit the cake may not get eaten, so doesn't need to be anything special!

One idea is to cheat.... get one Happy Birthday cake each. Then have another cheap and basic cake/ slices/ cupcakes etc out the back. So when you take the cakes away to cut up some get the actual cake, others a basic sponge cake! Wrap it up in napkin and hand out as they leave. No one will care if it's 'actual' birthday cake or not. You could make sure the judgemental mums get a piece of the proper cake just to be on the safe side :-)

The 'back up' cake could be kept in packaging unless needed so can be frozen or kept if not needed?

Viques has it for me.
I went to a birthday party when I was 12 and the mum said after we'd blown out candles "oh you've all had enough to eat I'll put the cake in the freezer for the next child"
I am still somewhat distressed by this

Get the tray bakes and wrap the cubes in foil to go into party bags

I don't think cake is really that important tbh, but then i'm not a big fan of shop bought cake. If i were going to buy cake though, i'd buy just enough to cover those that RSVP'ed. Note those childs names and have a bag/napkin etc to put their slice in. Anyone who complains their child didn't get any would get a "Sorry, you didn't reply to say your child was attending, I only bought enough for those i was expecting" Maybe next time their child is invited somewhere, they'll let the host know! From what i've seen, its a major issue with parents not bothering to RSVP and lots of people get stressed with no idea how many to cater for/end up paying for no shows.

Get the traybake or cupcakes

I have been to a few parties with no cake:

-Decorate your own cupcake and take it home in your party bag (could work but it was done on the cheap and felt a bit flat TBH)

-Sing happy birthday to a fantastic-looking cake that never gets cut out.Turns out it was plastic. No cake to eat or take home.

-Cupcakes (nothing special)

I personally found them all disappointing. The DC did ask where the cake was every time but weren't too bothered (5yo and under).

Also being a hard-core introvert I hate kids birthday parties and I love it when the cake comes along - I know I'll be able to leave shortly having fulfilled the DC'S social duties

HTH

I think birthday cakes are expected at birthday parties.

If more kids turn up, couldn't you slice the tray cakes smaller? It's not like everyone will expect massive bits of cake surely ?

What about cake pops? They are easier to hand out at the end rather than bits of cake wrapped up in napkins.

Just buy enough for the invitees and if you want to cut smaller pieces to accommodate anyone else. It's not worth this much agonising over.

Yes cake is essential party food. Traybake is absolutely fine. Your not going to please everybody, just do what suits you.

A few years ago, my DS went to a party for a boy who had these weird sort of hippie vegan type parents, and they didn't give any cake. Let me tell you, all the guests (being around 4 or 5 to be fair) were crying as they left, and even my DS was in such a grump. If you want the children to have happy memories of the party, go crazy with the cake. The more the merrier! Kids love a traybake.