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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask someone questions to see if they're really in need

63 replies

MadJeffBarn · 13/11/2016 14:28

So I'm giving away my dining table because I'm getting a new one. As it's Christmas I've decided to give it to a family in need, as per description. But already I'm getting loads of people asking for it, no kids on their profile(yes I know not everyone puts their kids online) but I really want it to go to a family.
I realise now (after shifting through 20+ inboxs) that Facebook probably isn't the best place to give away. I can't get it to a charity shop as I don't have a car, any ideas? Or should I supply a questionnaire for each applicant 😂 (I'm joking of course, I wouldn't do that)

OP posts:
Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 13/11/2016 14:52

Jesus, try and do a nice thing and still get slated 😂 I was asking for suggestions for alternatives to Facebook. It may be 'a piece of unwanted furniture' to some but to others who can't actually afford it it's a nice gesture.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 13/11/2016 14:52

Or you put it on a selling page*

TaliDiNozzo · 13/11/2016 14:52

I'm not sure why you would care about children being involved. Families can be 'in need' without there being children amongst them.

usual · 13/11/2016 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WLF46 · 13/11/2016 14:54

So someone takes it and immediately flogs it on eBay. Who cares? a) the purchaser has got a cheap table, and b) the seller might put the money towards a nicer Xmas for their family, or putting food on the table (metaphorically).

If you're that concerned about someone you don't like getting hold of it, break it up for firewood, that way you can be sure that nobody is exploiting you.

usual · 13/11/2016 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cocklodger · 13/11/2016 14:56

YABU tbf.
Either give it away on FB or give to charity but surely you can see how offensive it is to be asked.
''Are you really in need though? are you SURE you can't afford to buy one?''...
Freecycle, freegle and giving things away used to be about keeping things out of the landfill, now its about making sure everyone is on the bones of their arse.

Boolovessulley · 13/11/2016 14:56

I think it was ymca who collected my unwanted sofa.
Give them s call.

JustHereForThePooStories · 13/11/2016 14:57

Can I just point out that just because a couple don't have kids, does mean they're not a family?

EssentialHummus · 13/11/2016 14:57

I agree with worra but if you want less hassle, and if it is in good condition, BHF will collect.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 13/11/2016 14:58

Rightio... message recieved. Was meant to be tongue in cheek, have now found a charity I want to give to.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 13/11/2016 14:58

I wouldn't care what they did with it sell it burn it eat round it i dont get sentimental about stuff i get rid of.

SapphireStrange · 13/11/2016 14:59

I'm not sure why you would care about children being involved. Families can be 'in need' without there being children amongst them.

This is what I was thinking.

But anyway, you've found a charity to give it to that suits you, so all is fine.

WorraLiberty · 13/11/2016 14:59

It may be 'a piece of unwanted furniture' to some but to others who can't actually afford it it's a nice gesture.

Which you've had more than 20 people asking for but you're still not satisfied.

Just let it go.

MrsJayy · 13/11/2016 15:00

How is looking for children and need tongue in cheek ?

usual · 13/11/2016 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 13/11/2016 15:04

Because I'm obviously not questioning anyone... hence the (joking obviously) part of my post. I was asking for alternatives to Facebook, as I stated before. And yes I know families without children can be in need but what's wrong with wanting to give to families with children?
Anyway it doesn't even matter now as I've already contacted a charity. Thankyou for helpful suggestions!

OP posts:
AmeliaJack · 13/11/2016 15:08

I think you are getting a little bit of a hard time Jeff there's nothing particularly unusual about wanting to give it to a family.

My best friend was looking for a large dinning room table and found one on eBay near to her. They went to see it and the owner said they were happy to sell it to them as they had brought their children with them. They were offering it for a very good price as it was at the centre of lots of family memories and wanted to sell to another family. They had turned down several offers which were clearly dealers going to sell it on.

zen1 · 13/11/2016 15:14

The only thing about giving it to charity furniture shops is sometimes they price up their furniture quite high (for a charity shop). I often go into the ones near us and a typical price for a dining table is £60+ . I saw one in there for £200 the other day. It was nice, but not very affordable if you don't have any spare cash. If you really want to give it to someone in need, I would give it away free.

BusStopBetty · 13/11/2016 15:14

Maybe they need food more than a table to put it on?

Could be, but there have been a few banned from our freegle group for running a business from people's donations. Not fair on those who genuinely do need a bag full of clothing or a freezer.

Names out of a hat is fairer than first come first served, although I don't add in the rude fuckers who just reply 'want it!!!'

BusStopBetty · 13/11/2016 15:16

British Heart Foundation, Zen? They're dearer than Ikea.

LivingInMidnight · 13/11/2016 15:16

British heart foundation collect for free & let you know how much money they got for it.

thatstoast · 13/11/2016 15:18

I give loads away for free on Facebook. As far as I'm concerned if someone wants to come take it away for me then they can sell it and buy crack if that's what they want to do.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 13/11/2016 15:19

I've contacted a Christian charity who only give furniture/clothes ect through referals from social services or children centres and all is required is a £10 donation for delivery which seems great! I haven't heard about them before.
Agree about charity shops, our local BHF shop will pick up but when you go into store the stuff they're selling isnt much difference to buying new! And they sell chairs separately, which adds to the price. When me and Dp were first setting up we went to BHF and Sue Rider and ended up just buying new at Argos

OP posts:
zen1 · 13/11/2016 15:23

Yup, BHF, Give to Give (the worst), Age UK. The charity you have chosen sound great OP.