to be terrified of making this phonecall?

[SansasEscape]

Hello,

Backstory: everything has gone very well at work for me recently and I've been made four job offers.

I have turned 2 down and have been left with 2 to decide between.

One is an opportunity with a partner I work very closely with currently. I think that he thinks I'm his assistant (I'm not, nor do I want to be). He has previously enthused to me about how much fun we're going to have together and what an excellent opportunity it is for me. I have felt very very pressured to go and join him.

I have decided that this opportunity isn't the right one for me and I am going with the remaining one. I emailed the partner to explain (probably should have phoned but I was too chicken). He has asked me to phone him today.

I know he is going to try to persuade me to change my mind. He is not known for being particularly professional and a large part of me is expecting him to be very angry. But I can't take a job I don't want for him.

So I suppose what I am asking is, how do I stick to my guns and not get drawn in the phone? AIBU to feel so crap about doing this though?

I'd agree with Matilda

Make the phone call after doing the official bit. That way you can be firm on 'it's done' and confirmed so there's no way he can persuade you. That's why he wants you to phone today to try and get in there first I'd guess.

It's completely acceptable to not make the phone call on a Sunday. But I think it is necessary to phone and speak to him without too much of a delay tomorrow. As you say you don't want to burn any bridges.

Be firm! Firm but polite. See it as a challenge. If you can politely face down this guy's persuasive powers you can conquer the world.

No one gets to demand that I call them..fuck that..I don't even answer if I don't want to....you sent the email.explained the situation.job done.no need for a phone call.as you were .

I never started booking a fake meeting to see when people would be away from their desk, in order to "return" the call knowing that all I had to leave was a voice mail. Oh no. Never.
Just remember to cancel the meeting rather than hit send!

Remember that you are in control here. You are absolutely in charge of your next move and if he doesn't get that, that alone is a fantastic reason why not to work with him, even if it were the only job going (which it isn't, by a long way - well done!)

It sounds to me as if there is little value to you of explaining in any honest detail why you have taken up another opportunity, so you just need to rehearse some very bland phrases and repeat them as often as you like.

"The other opportunity was an even better fit for me at this point in my career"

that kind of thing

Thanks all. Really helpful and bloody good kick up the backside.

I'll get this all nailed down first thing tomorrow.

Hope you've managed to sort something out, Sansa (keeping you up to the mark, so you don't falter! )

All sorted. Phoned him first thing - he was ok. Told me what a poor decision I was making but respected that the choice was mine to make. Underlined how thick his skin is and reassured me that our friendship remains. Then teased about all of the exciting projects he has coming up that I'm now not allowed to know about.

Official emails sent too. No replies, but not fussed if they come or not tbh! Very relieved and very happy with my choice.

Good for you, OP and what an arse about 'poor decision!

Excellent! Well done OP!

All the very best in your new role

Well done, Sansas! Bet you're glad it's over with, hey? And none the worse for the experience. :)