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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have put so much thought into where my children sit in the car?

34 replies

kittymamma · 12/11/2016 22:42

Not a serious thread - I'm just wondering if I am a little nuts, as my husband suggests

When deciding where to sit my children in the car, I refuse to put the child lock on and sit my older child (5 years old, so not in any way mature) on the opposite side to me so that my son is behind me. I do this so if I need to get out of the car in an emergency (THINK: Car about to explode or broken down on the railway crossing) I can get myself out, get my DS out (who is just a baby) and my DD can get herself out. We can then all be away from the car in the quickest possible time. It also means that if I stop on the hard shoulder, my DD is on the side of the embankment, not the motorway. Hence I can get my son out, walk around the car carrying him, open her door and walk to the embankment with minimal fuss.

So am I nuts or have others thought of these things? Perhaps I have just watched too many action films as a child.

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 12/11/2016 22:45

Sounds very sensible and well thought out.

MistresssIggi · 12/11/2016 22:48

Sounds like a plan, though you have to factor in the chance of your dd opening the unlocked door somewhere you don't want her to, as well.

Hamiltoes · 12/11/2016 22:50

That sounds really logical. I had my two the way you describe, however i took them to Halfords to get a new car seat when youngest had outgrown baby carrier and the man there said I had it the wrong way around...

Oldest child always closest (in the back) to the driver. This is because they have a higher chance of surviving an accident than a younger child, and the drivers side is has the greatest chance of having an impact in a collision.

Original poster
kittymamma · 12/11/2016 22:59

Well thank you for your replies. I now do not feel nuts :)

Mistresslggi - I had considered this but I am fairly confident she would not do this. She once accidentally unclicked her seatbelt (trying to belt up her toys) while I was driving (past a police car Hmm), and she got into a crazy panic about how dangerous it was for her.

Hamiltoes - Well doesn't that just throw a spanner in the works? Now I have to factor in the chance of a driver side collision to the chance of needing an efficient exit strategy. I would assume the former is statistically more likely, especially as there is only one railway crossing locally, that I rarely drive over...

OP posts:
RumbleMum · 12/11/2016 23:03

Fair enough, but then I've got an automatic centre punch in the glovebox to smash out the windows if I ever drive into the canal with the kids in the car, so I'm the wrong person to ask where car-related neurosis is concerned Grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 12/11/2016 23:07

It's not just DCs opening doors while moving that's a problem, we kept child locks on until ours were completely capable of opening doors in car parks without touching neighbouring cars. I would also not want my 5 year old getting out in an emergency while I was busy with baby, quite a high chance of getting run over by another car.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/11/2016 23:07

automatic centre punch ? What is that?

Obsidian77 · 12/11/2016 23:08

Like Hamiltoes said, older child should be behind the driver. And if you need to get the kids out of the car you should go to the passenger side, so you're away from traffic, then take the smaller child out. The older one can then cling to you/scramble over the seat etc.
It's not nuts to think about it but it's be a problem if you found yourself dwelling on it.

FleurThomas · 12/11/2016 23:08

What's more likely to happen is you park up/breakdown/stop for whatever reason & get distracted with the baby, your DD unlocks the door & runs out on the road. My BIL sees accidents like this all the time (he's a paramedic).

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/11/2016 23:10

Op - it all sounds very well planned. However, I also had lots of plans, but when I ended up upside down in the fast lane on of a motorway with both kids hanging upside down in their car seats, I acted very differently to how I expected to. You somehow need to factor panic, adrenaline and unforeseen circumstances into your plan.

(We're all fine. I hope that reassures you!)

RumbleMum · 12/11/2016 23:11

ATruth it's a tool for making holes to guide screws, but it's also a very effective way of breaking side windows in cars. And if you drive into water, you haven't got long before the electric windows stop working and then you can't open the doors because of the water - this is why most people who drive into water drown, as they can't get out.

I spent six months telling myself to stop obsessing about a scenario that's so incredibly unlikely, and then caved and spent £3 on a centre punch and no longer worry about it. DH thinks I'm bonkers, with some justification ... Grin

MillionToOneChances · 12/11/2016 23:13

I always had the infant car seat behind the passenger seat so that if I had to stop on a motorway hard shoulder I could get to the safe passenger side as quickly as possible, not open a door wide into traffic and lean in to extract the baby. Your DD could climb over the car seat, couldn't she?

RumbleMum · 12/11/2016 23:13

X-post ATruth - that sounds horrific. So glad you are all ok. Shock

MillionToOneChances · 12/11/2016 23:14

Cross-post :)

DoJo · 12/11/2016 23:18

Fair enough, but then I've got an automatic centre punch in the glovebox to smash out the windows if I ever drive into the canal with the kids in the car, so I'm the wrong person to ask where car-related neurosis is concerned grin

See, I didn't think I was that neurotic, but when I read your post, it reminded me that I have a combined window hammer and seat belt cutter which lives in the side pocket of my door so that I can reach it if my seat belt jams and cut and smash us all to safety!

ThornyBird · 12/11/2016 23:18

RumbleMum - I have 1 of those in my little fiesta and 3 in dh's Space - one for each row of seats Blush

In my defence, we live by the sea, often park on quayside car parks and was after a tragic accident locally when a car entered a river and a passenger was trapped.

WankersHacksandThieves · 12/11/2016 23:21

Why don't you want to put the child locks on? I'm clearly missing something. Confused

RumbleMum · 12/11/2016 23:24

I'm so glad I'm not alone Grin

Original poster
kittymamma · 12/11/2016 23:26

Atruth - Oh my! Sounds very frightening. I'm not sure you can ever factor in panic. Out of my scenarios in my head, that wasn't one. I am glad you are all ok!

I hadn't thought of that Fleur. Although I like to think my DD knows not to get out of the car unless I tell her to, I am not naive enough to believe that this is out of the realms of possibility. Although I now feel justified for having thought about it. I am quickly realising that my logic was massively flawed. Even though my DD could not climb over the baby seat (it's a big chunky, permanent fixture type one), she could easily climb into the passenger seat and get out that way.

So, where would you think was safer in the car for a 5 year old? Behind the driver or in the passenger seat? My car is only ever for me and the kids, when out with the DH, we take his car, so my passenger seat is always empty.

OP posts:
Original poster
kittymamma · 12/11/2016 23:28

Why don't you want to put the child locks on? I'm clearly missing something.

In case the car needs to be exited quickly. You know, in case the car is about to blow up or be hit by a speeding train? Or perhaps submerging under water... You know the drill... And Rumble, I so need one of those...

OP posts:
WankersHacksandThieves · 12/11/2016 23:41

Cheers. I probably benefited by mine being a year apart in that by the time they were both old enough to exit the car themselves, they were both old enough to know that you don't open the car door without permission/until the car has stopped etc.

swimlyn · 12/11/2016 23:49

Search this code on Amazon: B00B5FLRQA and you’ll find a two-pack of Resqme keyrings.

The beauty of this is that it hangs on your steering column when driving. The functional part pulls off if you want to use it. Having it in the side pocket of a door is not useful if the car is rolled or inverted.

Goes with you if you get on a bus/coach trip – and can go in DCs pockets too of course. (school trips, lifts with friends etc)

CoolCarrie · 12/11/2016 23:56

We have done this as well, but it is mainly how to deal with carjacking where we live ( thankfully never had to put it in to practice)

Hamiltoes · 13/11/2016 00:01

You would most definitely want children in the back, as driver side and head on collisions are the most common. Also just last month a workmate had his windscreen smash in whilst driving on a country road- would not want that coming down on a five year old.

The more you think about it, the more it makes sense. I'd just always jumped to the "closer to me" thought as you did.. Also, if she threw down her comforter and whinged for it I could easily put my hand back whilst stationary at a junction. But as the Halfords man said, much safer to have the youngest furthest away.

Bringmewineandcake · 13/11/2016 00:10

Not sure if I saw it on here or if DH told me, but the head rests are deliberately detachable so that you can use the prongs to smash out the windows in an emergency.