For thinking this is not a playdate?

[80schild]

On Friday after school one of the mothers invited DS for a playdate at her house and then followed it up with actually, why don't we go into town for the market (it is just an average fruit and market) - so I said I would love to meet her, but I don't want to into town and could we do something a bit more local (it's about half an hour drive on a good day and difficult to park, probably a bit longer by public transport). I genuinely want to know if I am being unreasonable. DH said he would give anything a try once but I know I would be going to be polite and I question if the little ones would enjoy playing in the middle of a town centre.

YANBU!

It's not a playdate, being stuck in the car then a shopping trip and back again. How is that playing?

If she wanted to know you better, why not suggest you come along for a coffee? rather than a trip into town not to a child-friendly place, when the kids are meant to be playing, and it goes dark so quickly after school at the moment too?! also they are age 5-6, it's not like they are 8-9 and will be chatting about gadgets or whatever more than running around.

Of course she was angling/ulterior motive!!! I would just keep it to playdates at each others' houses, or politely decline. Personally that would bug me a bit that she'd suggested it. It's just not a playdate or even fun for the kids.

Oh and OP my 5/6yo would not have been chuffed that a "playdate" meant shopping trip and quiet behaviour instead of just hanging out at a friend's house, he hates shopping trips at the best of times!

I agree that a 5/6 yr old should be capable of going shopping or doing something not completely centred around them for a few hours BUT I can see it is a bit of a boring alternative if they were looking forward to a playdate. Unless there is anywhere in town they can run off some steam/play - green area/child friendly museum? Or you could suggest having them at your house?

I almost always stay when my son has playdates, he is 6 and most of the time would want me to stay.

I usually find it nice to get to know the mums too.

I think I would have gone along with it or if you really hated driving into town I would have invited them both back to mine or re-scheduled.

I couldn't cope with other Mums staying when their child was having a playdate with mine. It's not about me making friends! I don't want to sit with some woman who I have nothing in common with just because our kids like one another.

I've never asked any other parent to stay and they seem happy to be able to dump and run! As I am!