To tell sil she's being out of order?

[lalalalafunk]

About to meet sil for a walk as she needs to talk.

She just sent me this text-

Xxxx's been really pissing me off lately. I have an ultrasound next week that he likely won't be able to go to because he'll have to be with Xxxx (her ds aged 16 months). I'm considering refusing to tell him the gender if they can determine it. Too mean or acceptable?

She's got form for stuff like this. Her daughter was quite ill a while back and she hid it from him and refused to tell him anything as he'd annoyed her that day.

I feel like I should tell her this is not ok.

No matter how annoyed I get with dh (and believe me I do sometimes ) I never use ds against him. It just feel like something sacred you don't do.

Should I keep my beak out and say 'up to you' or set her straight kindly?

Name changed for this btw.

So she's pissed off with him because he will be caring for their child? Wow.

No I think she's pissed off about other stuff.

Does she have a rational side, if so can you get through to it?

Going to suggest she either take baby (but it is the 20 week scan so the long one) or write get radiographer to write it on an envelope and both wait until she's not pissed off so as not to ruin a special moment.

I don't like to get involved usually and boss people around but it seems like damaging behaviour no?

She's not conducting an equal partnership with another adult though is she? Not sure you should get your oar in though...

Is this your brother? Or your DPs sister?
Unless it's your brother I don't think you should get involved.

True. Getting involved in a couples argument more often than not backfires.

Why don't you text back :-

'Oh grow up'
'Stop being a dick'
'Can't be arsed sil'
'That's nasty'
'Wow you can be an arse sometimes'

Any of those will do for a drama queen. Stop indulging her. Is it your brother she is with? She sounds like a right nob

Dp's sister. She did ask though.

She's got no friends at all and has no idea of social boundaries.

Jingle - I'm always tempted

She's a massive self centred dick but I do feel sorry for her.

This is the reason why then.

Im brutally honest with folk I genuinly care about if they need something spelling out. I could not spend time around some one so self indulged like this.

Is he your brother? Your your dp brother?

Don't feel sorry for some one that revels in being nasty to other people. She actually uses your good nature and listening ear to bolster her self importance. Emotional vampire all over it.

What about:

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. That really wouldn't be acceptable though.

Ok... uhm. Idk.

Tell her about writing the gender down etc... (like you suggested above) and mention that getting an SMS like this makes you feel uncomfortable?

I wouldnt meet her for the walk if thats what she wants to talk about.

You tell her it's is mean - she knows it's mean or she wouldn't be checking with you

Why does she want to punish him for looking after their other child?

Are there other options?

She's being a bitch!!! Why not just take the child to the scans, we used to!

Sorry but I'd have to be honest with her.

Is she angling for a babysitter do you think?

Your sil is a child. Her children are not pawns to be used to manipulate her husband.

Are the older childrens not your sil's partners children either?

So she's mad about another thing that XXX has done and mentions that the reason he's not going to the scan is because he's watching their child. She's not mad because he's watching the child and can't go, right?

Might it all blow over before then? Could you offer to watch the child so XXX could go? Otherwise, I think I'd just tell her that I didn't think it was very nice and that I'd never do that to my DH even if I was mad at him.