To now want to do the whole Christmas meal this year?

[bumblebee50]

Every year Christmas dinner is at my house - my DH, DSs, my mum and my brother. However, my brother died very suddenly a few months ago. I just can't face the whole Christmas dinner thing. It's not as if I do all the shopping and cooking on my own - I just don't feel like it. I don't think my mum does either. My sons will not care what we do as long as we have the day together. Any ideas for dinner that we could have without the whole Christmas day faff?

Uf you still want the traditional meal you could look at getting it all pre prepared so you just nuke and bake accordingly, possibly with Christmassy paper plates so you can bin the lot when the meal's over?

Otherwise how about either a simple but fancy casserole - something involving lots of wine in the juices - with baked potatoes, very easy to shove in the oven and forget about.

Alternatively, what was your brother's favourite food? Would eating his meal be a nice way to remember him on a difficult day?

To my mind the cook gets to decide what's made - my DM announced one year she was sick of turkey and wasn't cooking it anymore. We all howled but she didn't back down and knew none of us would get off our arses to do it and frankly Christmas was a lot better from then on in as all the non-turkey meals were nicer.

So why not do what you want - go out to a pub/restaurant, buy the whole lot in ready to heat up from M&S, spend the day slobbing out eating chips, whatever is going work for you and your family. A quick no hassle but still luxury meal is steak plus roast baby veg which I've done a few times - only 20 min in the kitchen.

Making your brother's favourite meal sounds a lovely idea.

Going out for a meal on Christmas Day is relatvely stress-free and you can all remember your DB with a toast or two, and reminisce.

Not in your situation but one year my parents and I decided to ditch the faff of "Christmas dinner" and just cook a nice dinner that we all would enjoy. In our case it was fresh pasta, pre made sauce & garlic bread. It was lovely. Get through this year in whatever way you can & certainly don't do a full dinner if you don't feel like it.

Book a restaurant to take all the prep / stress away. It will be a different atmosphere and venue to normal so the sad loss of your brother might not be so glaringly obvious. You could raise a glass to him at some point in the day, maybe if you go back to your house after the meal? So sorry for your loss x

One of my friends always cooks a curry on Christmas day. She gets some naan breads, samosas and side dishes to go with it. Her family love it and she reckons it's less faff than a Christmas dinner even though she does it from scratch.

I agree going out for Christmas dinner may potentially mean less stress but then again, as you're grieving, you may not feel like going out.

You could always do a smallish buffet, cold meats, nice bread, cheese board, crudités and dips etc and everyone helps themselves...kids tend to like things they can pick at and you can get some lovely pre-prepared 'party food' so there's very little cooking involved.

Think that in the circumstances one extra person for dinner (your DM) isn't going to impact too much, and when you've lost someone close to you it just feels nice to get together as a family on a special day. I'm guessing you have a cooked lunch normally on a Sunday, which is the day Xmas day falls on this year, so why not just have a 'sunday' roast with a couple of ready made puds. Speaking from experience it's always hard celebrating things like Xmas when you've lost family that year, and having family around you is comforting.

We've done all sorts of Christmas over the years, due to work schedules, who else (extended family) is around for Christmas etc.

I don't think I've bothered to do the big Christmas dinners all on my own, certainly not in the last 20 years anyway as I just can't be arsed. We do pot luck / bring a plate if we have big family Christmas with my family which means it doesnt fall on just one person, whoever's hosting organise the meat really.

However if we're at home and it's just me and DD then I just get a nice cut of meat (normally lamb, but have had fish in the past), do some veg and salad. I'll make something nice for pudding, along with the usual Christmas treats such as yummy chocolates, crisps, ice cream, biscuits etc. Tbh for the two of us, I cannot be arsed to do the turkey dinner, we would be eating leftovers until February It's really lovely, no stress.

Sorry for your loss OP.
I gave up on the stress of a big meal a few years ago, and on ly do it if I fancy it.
This year we are getting chinese take away banquet. Buying the day before, cooling then reheating on chrimbo day. Really looking forward to the ease of it all.

I make a stew the day before, leave it in the oven with some baked potatoes and we walk to our local pub with our (grown up) children and MIL. For years and years I did 'proper' Christmas dinners and I tried so hard to make it perfect (it never was) and I used to dread it. I look forward to Christmas now, wish I'd done it years ago!