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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that school has indoctrinated my child into believing that he should get a valentine's card

36 replies

Twiglett · 13/02/2007 08:44

he's 6

valentine's day / cards is about romantic love

I do not want him to want a valentines from me

it is for grown-ups not children

I really wish teachers would think concepts through

OP posts:
Budababe · 13/02/2007 08:47

I'm ignoring it. I think they will make cards and bring them home but he is not sending any.

Received one from an American friend - photo of her 3 DCs and it was addressed to my DS. Barking.

Tortington · 13/02/2007 08:49

i think this is a perfect opotunity to discuss the 'edges' of capitalism and consumerism.

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/02/2007 08:50

nah we did that about advertising toys on the tv when he was 3

OP posts:
moondog · 13/02/2007 08:52

It's pathetic.
The hard nosed c7ynicism of the whole thing was really brought home to me yesterday in Tesco as i saw two people wheel in a huge dispaly of identikit rose bouquets-hundreds of 'em.

If my dh bought me one of those it wou7ld all be over for us.

percypig · 13/02/2007 08:52

How awful - I really dislike this - seems to be an American thing where the children bring in cards for practically the whole class. It just turns into a bit of poularity contest, especially in secondary school.

Aside from that, I agree it's ridiculous to lead children to expect/want a card. Although children can obvously love people, in my opinion if there is any value in Valentine's Day it's in adults taking the time to express their love - which is quite a serious thing, and trivialising it can lead to a skewed attitude to love and relationships - in my opinion!

Tortington · 13/02/2007 08:52

you've always been more advanced in your parenting

nearlythree · 13/02/2007 08:52

I totally agree. I got slaughtered for on here recently for objecting to the Valentine's disco at dd1's school - it is for grown-ups not children, perfectly put. (btw, dd1 went in the end!)

Commercialised rubbish.

We love each other and our friends and family all the year round. We don't need a 'special day' in order to let them know.

SSShakeTheChi · 13/02/2007 08:53

I agree Valentine's cards are for romantic love, if you bother with it at all.

Pixel · 13/02/2007 13:47

It does seem to be an american thing for children to send valentines cards. If you watch many cartoons you will see it over and over - even Little Bear which is for toddlers had an episode where he made cards and gave them out. I've always found it slightly odd. Luckily, all valentines day means to dd is that she will be packed off to bed early so dh and I can have a nice steak dinner in peace .

sazzybee · 13/02/2007 14:24

I started school in America in January when I was 6 and this boy gave everyone in the class a valentine's card except for me 'because you talk funny'.

I was traumatised for life.

Don't give into it - causes petty divisions and is stupid crass commercialism

OrmIrian · 13/02/2007 14:32

Valentine's day is boll*cks anyway. So I don't think it is possible to trivialise it any more than it already is. I can't think of a day when I'd be less likely to want to show love for anyone TBH especially my DH who has been through so much with me.

The children can keep it thanks.

OrmIrian · 13/02/2007 14:33

BTW my DS#1 is havning nothing to do with it and DD has made s pressie for her 'bf'. No whole class stuff going on here....weird idea....

Elasticwoman · 13/02/2007 14:41

Will you be letting your child's teacher/school know how you feel, Twiglett?
If so you may very well get a rude, belittling reply and the oh you're making our difficult job so much harder attitude ...
but they will probably take more notice of you than they admit, and drop the whole thing next year.

Catbabymummy · 13/02/2007 14:46

Not at all! We had to send VDay cards to fellow classmates when I was at Junior school and I was the kid who didn't get any, it was so humiliating.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 13/02/2007 14:47

my ds will be waiting a bloody long time if he wants a valentine card from me. Mind you, so will my dh

Over commercialized rubbish IMO and this notion of children giving/receiving valentine cards is just a load of cobblers peddled by hallmark to up their sales.

It's my birthday on Saturday, my dh can spend the money then.

as an aside, I wonder if you compared the amount of spending on valentines, to the same items bought on a different day of the year, how much more the valentines spending would be given the over inflated prices of flowers etc.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 13/02/2007 14:49

we also could send cards when I was at school and I never got one, not ever. at that age I was very sad that no-one liked me enough to send me a card.

now I've hardened myself to it and refuse to buy into the commercialisation of it all.

sazzybee · 13/02/2007 14:57

Do we need a support group for those of us who were traumatised?

pointydog · 13/02/2007 15:23

that he should get a valentine's card from whom exactly?

unclear about op

twelveyeargap · 13/02/2007 15:26

It's so irritating. I got "abuse" from the man who sits next to me at work becuase I do not send my DD a Valentine's card in the post. FFS. I pointed out that as she goes to an all-girls school, and there aren't any boys outside of the famly who know her address, that she would either know it was from me, or have to assume it was from an existing female friend, which might be a little disconcerting at age 11. He said, "it was only a bit of fun". I said it was setting her up for future disappointment by putting too much emphasis on a "Hallmark Holiday".

He sends his wife a Valentine's card from his two sons. It's very, very odd IMO. Is this the one day of the year that incest is acceptable?

twelveyeargap · 13/02/2007 15:27

Incidentally, DD's school have organised a parent/ teacher evening for tomorrow night. Perhaps a clue as to their stance on the "holiday"?

Catbabymummy · 13/02/2007 15:41

Valentine's Day is supposed to be an opportunity for someone to anonymously declare their love for someone who is unaware of their feelings. Sadly it is now for smug couples sopping over each other and buying uselss overpriced presents. I hated VDay when I was single, because I used to feel crap and alone. So I vowed that when I was in a relationship I would never celebrate VDay. I have been with my dh for 6 years, married to him over three years, and we have never once celebrated Vday.

pointydog · 13/02/2007 15:48

who sang that song about being seventeen?

Elasticwoman · 13/02/2007 16:46

Janice Ian.

What a depressing song.

pointydog · 13/02/2007 17:15

Janice ian? Don't think I knew that.

This thread reminds me of that song.

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/02/2007 17:19

OMG Janis Ian .. blast from the past

OP posts: