To not talk to my dad again.

[genehuntswife]

bit of background, I always believed when I was growing up that I was second best to my brother in my parents eyes but as I got older I thought that I had maybe seen things through a hormonal teenagers eyes.
So fast forward to now, my mum dies 4 years ago and my dad signed the house over to my brother because I already have a home!!! This July my brother has a breakdown. I was teetering close to the edge myself after my son had nearly died earlier in the year ( he spent a week on life support) . My dad rings me up that week to tell me how his son ( my brother) is his no 1 priority, he must have said it at least 5 times.
I was heart broken and haven't spoken to him since.
So am I right or am I an immature hard faced cow, I go between believing both about myself

[fc301]

If one of you was a Golden Child and one was a Scapegoat then he is probably a Narcissist. Blaming you for being upset about what HE said is another red flag. Read about it online - it helps. You are likely in FOG (Fear, obligation, guilt).
And the 'Stately Homes' thread here under body & soul/relationships is very helpful.
It's not you, it's them. Take comfort from your close family who love you x

[DrQuinzel]

OP look up "daughters of narcissistic parents" and see if you recognise any of the behaviours. I went NC with my narcissistic father 10 years ago, it look a long time and a lot of self-doubt but now I feel liberated! It's horrible living in another siblings shadow and you have done absolutely nothing wrong

[altiara]

Well done for standing up for yourself. You don't deserve to be second best
Honestly, a complete stranger would have more compassion and fairness so don't settle for less.
If I was in the same situation as your dad and felt a strong need to provide more for one DC, then there are ways of going about it that don't make the other child look second best. If he wants to provide just for your brother then he should just own that decision rather than start blaming you for taking things the wrong way.
Stay strong, ignore him and concentrate on your MH and your own family. I hope your DS is well.

[kerryob]

Ynba, if you cut him off you're allowed to feel sad & grieve. Not easy co a parent but you will get through it

[NeedMoreSleepOrSugar]

Well done for standing up for yourself. My mother used to come out with crap like that. Going nc was the best thing I ever did. Hard, really hard, but worth it. I'm worry more than that, even if she doesn't think so. So are you OP.