To feel a bit downtrodden

[1wokeuplikethis]

My week: looking after 3yr old & 9 month old. Cleaning. Getting up to baby in the night.

Husbands week: working, being a mardy arse about the 'state of the house' and worrying about lack of money.

Husband then suggests we do a bit of cleaning this weekend 🙄 That we have been invited to lunch next week and we are going 🙄 And is it alright if he goes off to the pub tonight 🙄

Can't put my finger on it. But feel fed up.

I feel your pain op

I'm in a similar boat to you - a 5 month old and a 2.5 year old.

I don't know what your domestic arrangements are but we have a cleaner 3 hours a fortnight and then split the remainder of the domestic work between us. He does laundry, I do food shopping/cooking.

We don't drink so that £30 fortnight is what I would guess most would spend on wine or the pub and it's the best money we spend.

I don't feel downtrodden at all. Sometimes I'm a tiny bit envious of his perceived freedom but then when I'm pottering around shops, meeting friends for lunch or catching up on tv in the day time I realise I've got it pretty good!

How would you change your situation if you had a magic wand right now and could?

Not much. I'm happy with my lot. Just felt sick of listening to his grumbles and being told what we are doing. My magic wand would magic him into the kitchen to cook me dinner and then run a bath for us both with a bottle of wine. But cleaning and telly alone must suffice!

It doesn't help today but it will get better -your kids are still so young and it's really really hard.

My youngest two are 3 weeks and 3 years old. Then I have two primary school aged DC. But the small two are with me all day. Some days I look around and it's so messy. It's a never ending battle and only I seem able to see it

Just tell him to sod off then!

I often text my DH in the day and say to the effect of - the house is a state, I had 3 hours sleep last night and the baby hardly napped today so don't expect dinner. Love you xx

He knows to come home with takeaway!

Sounds like you need some time out and your DH needs a reality check. Perhaps you need to arrange a day out with friends and leave him to look after the kids and clean the house

I think DH is the one that feels downtrodden in our house...I'm on ML with a fairly easy 7m old and apart from having to do the night feeds my day is probably more relaxing then his at work. We take it in turns to cook but he always has to wash up/clear the kitchen in the evening as DS feeds to sleep.
Though mind you DH gets to go out occasionally in the evening and I don't (breastfeeding)

When I start to feel a bit fed up I find it helps to have little things to look forward to...they don't have to be big things for e.g. I'm excited about making the cake for my friends 40th next month.

It's hard to keep a spotless house with such young kids around your feet all day.
I'm guessing he doesn't realise this though.
Perhaps it's time you had a weekend away with friends, leave him with the dcs and come back and expect the house immaculate?!

We are going on holiday in a couple of weeks. I think it will do us good.

To be fair, he's thinking about the cleaning rather than just expecting you to do it. He's thinking that you might like to go out for dinner next week. He's asked whether it's ok for him to go to the pub after a hard week at work instead of just telling you. He sounds more thoughtful than many. Cut him some slack.