aibu to think this is relatively harmless/

[bigsmall]

Hello. Sons' dad has taken huge offence (doesn't take much) over this. A close relative of mine recited these 2 lines in the presence of our sons (8&9): "the boy stood on the burning deck; the flames came in between us". This was the most risqué amid many other songs and jokes, during a very happy visit with said relative and his lovely family. Sons repeated these 2 lines, in the hearing of their dad. Their dad now demands the contact details of said relative, so he can explain his "position" on these "lewd, suggestive songs", as he finds "such songs" (in fact it was only these 2 lines of one song) to be "perversions". Btw, the dad is quite an angry chap, but am I being unreasonable to say I will happily forward an email, but will check with said relative before actually giving boys' dad the contact details? Boys' dad (let's say not so dear partner) threatens to send message via the relative's church or office. To be honest, I think that's a good idea as then other people would be witnesses to nsdp's extreme outrage. But am I getting this all wrong? Thanks for any thoughts.

I remember my dad reciting this when I was about the same age:

The boy stood on the burning deck,
His pocket full of crackers.
A spark shot up his trouser leg,
And blasted off his knackers.

My mum was not impressed, I thought it was hilarious (at the sort of age when bums and willies are funny)!

just ignore him

if he doesnt want ds saying these words in front of him fine; his house his rules. (you can explain that to ds you have no issue but dad's house dad's rules... )

but dont pass on another persons email.

Firstly willies are hilarious generally to kids, and a source of endless and lifelong fascination and amusement to most boys.

If that is what they are finding funny about the slightly obscure and in no way obvious reference in the song you are referring to and he is getting his knickers in a twist that is a real concern.

Especially as you say it is a pattern of behaviour and you are basically too scared of the consequences for your children if you leave him. Unfortunately it sounds like there are consequences of staying - like them thinking this behaviour is in any way normal.

Maybe let him write the email (which will make him sound totally unhinged), warn the recipients and then keep a copy so that if and when you do find the strength to leave you have written proof that he is (really grasping for a politically correct way of putting this) not a capable parent due to his anger issues nor in a fit mental state to have sole responsibility for his children (and if you can gather any other evidence and make a note of similar things it will strengthen your case)?

I have googled and found no versions with the word penis (probably on the grounds that, no what, penis' arent funny!)

However, I did find the following:

Martin Gardner
The boy stood on the burning deck,
The flames ’round him did roar;
He found a bar of Ivory Soap
And washed himself ashore.

Anon.
The boy stood on the burning deck
And wished he hadn’t been born.
His mother said he wouldn’t have been
If the johnny hadn’t torn.

Anon.
The boy stood on the burning deck,
His feet were covered in blisters.
He had no trousers of his own [or His trousers burnt right off his legs]
And so he wore his sister’s.

Only Fools and Horses
The boy stood on the burning deck
His pockets full of crackers
One slipped down his trouser-leg
And burnt off both his… kneecaps!

Colin Thompson
The boy stood on the burning duck
A stupid thing to do
Because the duck was roasting
On the barbecue.

Casabazonka
Spike Milligan
The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled –
The twit!

Anon.
The boy stood on the burning deck
Smoke billowing through the air
‘I can’t stand it any more!’ he cried,
And sat down on a chair

Anon.
The boy stood on the burning deck
Eating a thre’penny Walls,
Till a bit fell down his trouser leg
And paralysed his kneecap.

The boy stood on the burning deck
His lips were all a-quiver
He gave a cough, his leg fell off
And floated down the river.

The boy stood on the burning deck,
Picking his nose like mad.
He rolled it into little balls
And flicked them at his dad.

The boy stood on the burning deck
His head was in a whirl.
He put his head between his legs
And wished he was a girl. (submitted by Dave Stewart)

The following two kindly submitted by Dauvit:

The boy stood on the burning deck.
Alas, he is no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2S04.

The boy stood on the burning deck
Playing a game of cricket.
The ball ran up his trouser leg
And hit his middle wicket.

This one from Seyom Derf submitted October 2015

The boy stood on the burning deck,
Shouting to passing ducks.
“I wish I’d joined the RAF
This being a sailor sucks!”

Good lord...this sounds like the things a relative of mine would have to put up with when she was married to a guy from the deep south...she divorced him fairly fast and came home. He was a VERY strict beat-the- pulpit-with-fists-when-preaching type.

His critique of poems was the least of her worries in the end.

Yeah, your son's dad is a twit. Flying off the handle because something sounds rude but isn't actually rude at all is ridiculous. I would tell him no, you're not going to give him your family's contact details, and that he should grow up instead!

I agree that willies are funny but penis' just arent, too biological! I realise that is just semantics.

cestlavielife a blanket statement of 'his house his rules' if he is the kind of man that sees 'perversions' where they don't exist? Basically telling the kids that 'dad makes the rules you must abide by them' if he is an angry man with bizarre and unreasonable rules?

Surely it is better to teach them that adults can be wrong and that unsubstantiated anger and unhinged behaviour is not ok at all? I really feel for those poor kids, telling them that he is entitled to behave that way would be so damaging to them.

Don't pander to his nonsense

If DCs dad does manage to communicate with your relative will they be resilient enough to tell him how utterly silly he is being?

This is all about control IMO, trying to stop you and your sons from enjoying the company of your family.

So, the word Penis wasn't used, but was alluded to....but it's just a word anyway, your boys must know what it means!

I just don't get the problem here. Your "D"H sounds totally batshit.

"Catch a grip, you fucking weirdo"

would probably be my response . I'm possible not the most diplomatic person though!

"Catch a grip, you fucking weirdo"

would probably be my response . I'm possible not the most diplomatic person though!

I don't understand his problem at all, sounds deranged. There is no way on earth I'd be giving him contact details of anyone at all. And if you do feel you can't say no to him, I'd urge you to let your relative know about it asap.

Is he Victorian?

Firstly, don't give your relatives details to him. Forward to email onto them and if they wants to say anything, they can.

Secondly, penis is not a rude word! Unless he belongs in the era where showing a bit of ankle shockhorror is risqué

He sounds fucking mad

If he begins his silly rantings again, just sing at him:

What was it that you constru-uued,
That made you think this ditty ru-uude?

And keep replying to his nonsensical demands in the same manner.

Chips... true.
Give dc some version of respecting dad s rules or not winding him up while recognising dad is deranged...hard to do if dc want to see him

Oh for goodness sake!!! Kids find slightly rude humour funny. He sounds like he needs to lighten up.

Kids do hear things they shouldn't hear but something like that, that isn't even rude is just ridiculous!

Depending on the age of your children, hearing stuff on the news would be more traumatising than a 'suggested' body part! I'd tell him to be more concerned about the consequences of them seeing all the racist remarks and killing and suffering that can cause some kids a lot of anxiety than a silly rhyme that's just meant to make someone giggle.

cestlavielife you are right - so hard, I really feel for the OP and her kids, sounds like the tip of the iceberg and making sure kids don't blame themselves when adults aren't behaving as they should is a big deal and very hard to achieve in real life.

What were the next two lines?

Well I'm still trying to get why he has a problem.
I also suspect he is thinking of ONe version that MIGHT be inappropriate. Except that, as posters ahead,e are plenty of versions and most of them are very very innocent. And to assuming said relative said more than the lines the OP refers to.

He is crazy sorry....

Why are you still sharing a house??

Meh. Can you create a fake email address and when your son's father 'makes contact' respond with a very pure version of the verse, expressing outrage at his dirty mind?

It's not like it was 'There once was a man from Nantucket'.

Don't teach them these

The boy stood on the burning deck, picking his nose like mad.
Rolled it into little balls and flicked them at his Dad.

The boy stood on the burning deck,
The deck was made of brass (glass)
The boy slipped on the burning deck
And landed on his ass/arse (depending on your accent)

Your NSDP needs to give his head a wobble.

It's hardly Friggin' In The Riggin' is it?