To hide behind the sofa and close the blinds?

[awkwardannieann]

My sister is a hypochondriac. She is a single woman knocking on 40 and she works full time and has a great circle of friends.

HOWEVER

She is always sick. She went to the doctor yesterday because she is tired. He chased her obviously. She has no other symptom btw. She complains everyday about something being wrong with her and if u don't ask her what's up she does lots of loud sighs or grunts or makes leading comments. She buys all different multi bits from Tesco and then boasts talks about all the tablets she has to take to get through the day!!!
It's pissing me off now as I feel like every visit she sucks the life out of me. She also uses her "illnesses" as an excuse not to do anything with our ailing parents. AIBU to avoid her like the plague she thinks she has????

If the blinds are closed, why would you also need to hide behind the couch?

Touché User

I have a friend like this
She's not so much a hypochondriac. She has been diagnosed with several medical conditions but I feel like I can't do anything, say anything, show her anything without her telling me how lucky I am to have my heath. I know that I am lucky, but I am also young and she has 20 years on me so I can't help but think that in 20 years, I may be in a similar position as 20 years ago, she was as fit and healthy as I am now.
She also consistently moans about being lonely, no one bothering with her etc but I must have invited her out at least 15 times in the past 6 months and every single time I have been met with rudeness and disbelief at the mere suggestion that she could meet me at a cafe for a coffee, or host me for half an hour if I drive to hers, or even come to mine if I pick her up and drop her off... despite the fact that she manages the school run twice a day every day in the car and goes on various days out with her children

I had a family member like this. Had everything wrong with them - the worst times were when someone had a genuine illness (from a cold to cancer), suddenly they had 'all the same symptoms'. Sadly, when they eventually did become very ill, they weren't believed for a long time. It may have been caught sooner if they hadn't been such a hypochondriac.

It's exhausting listening to anyone who is suffering from a case of the 'poor me's'. There's only so much sympathy even the most patient saint could give! It's not ok for others to make you feel guilty over having your health (or other factors, such as having a partner or disposable income).

I am frustrated because she moans constantly but if I try to give her advice she always has an excuse why it won't work.

Oh the martyred. It's best not to offer solutions - they rarely want them they just want to moan. My late martyr in law MIL was like this, endlessly moaned about not being able to get anywhere (she didn't drive) and not being able to see her DGSs but whenever we came up with solutions she would find reasons why it wouldn't work. On one occasion we went away to the sea she said rather wistfully "I will never get to see my grandchildren play on the beach", so we offered repeatedly to drive to her house and take her with us all to the beach - but she came up with every excuse not to. It was tedious. In the end I just used to listen, not say anything and make 'I'm listening intently and sympathising' noises.

onemorecup
your mil sounds like my mother used to be, but unfortunately for her she raised two very blunt daughters, we told here "you like being ... as you won't do any of our suggestions we are not discussing it anymore"

WorkAccount - yours is a far more sensible solution - I should have tried that instead of being driven slightly nuts.