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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be irritated by swimming pool parties for 5yo

86 replies

ridingsixwhitehorses · 09/11/2016 19:33

Trend for them at our school. Held in local municipal pool. Ratio 1 adult to 2 kids, so you have to go in with them. I don't want to be in my swimming costume in front of all the school parents. Not only that but the party room where the non swimming parents hang out overlooks pool so all the clothes parents get to see you too.

OP posts:

opinionatedfreak · 09/11/2016 20:18

There is a significant sector though who wouldn't be happy with unknown adukts caring for theirs kids in the pool.
There is also a perception that the necessary removal of all but a swimming costume will make these adults much more likely to behave in a / or self select In a dodgy way.

I'm a professional women in my late thirties, I work almost exclusively with children, I have an entry on a well respected national organisations website, I am multiply CRB (or whatever the in vogue term is)checked . I have been turning up at my friends kids school for 5 years(so since reception) to do occasional pick ups and drop offs in my surrogate aunt role, one of my colleagues also has a child in that class.
Yet when my friend told the parents (most of whom know me due to school pick ups, attendence at school concerts and previous parties) I was going to be the third adult on a birthday cinema trip (to keep a one adult to three kid ratio on the bus) there was a huge amount of unease.
I ended up with a group consisting of her younger daughter and her son's two closest friends whose parents are part of my social circle.
I have no reason to believe I was specially targeted or have been labelled unsuitable to look after kids (plenty of my friends leave theirs with me) and I'm well qualified to deal with mishaps and injury, but people are suspicious of strangers spending time with their children.

Sara107 · 09/11/2016 20:23

I wouldn't fancy that at all! dD went to a 6th party in the summer and it was in the pool of a school and fully staffed. Drop and run, the kids had a brilliant time and no cringey stripping off in front of the other parents!

swoonmacaroon · 09/11/2016 20:27

I send DH he doesn't seem too bothered. 100% would not want to see everyone's bits either!

SpookyPotato · 09/11/2016 20:30

I know what you mean, parties like this are better when they're older and can actually swim. I only have a toddler but avoid pool embarrassment by wearing tshirt and shorts!

SpookyMooky · 09/11/2016 20:30

Ugh, I am with you OP if they expect you to go in.

A couple of people here have filled the adult quota from their own family members and close friends, and made this explicit upfront so no guest adults required. This is lovely and an entirely different kettle of fish. The trick is not to be the very best friends who get called in...

sirfredfredgeorge · 09/11/2016 20:36

YABU to be irritated, simply decline or ask someone else to go into the pool for you (only a quarter or so of the parents need to go in after all)

Normalising swimming pools as fun is good at a young age, people are free to choose parties they enjoy for their birthday - or indeed celebrate their birthdays however they want, don't celebrate it with them if you don't want to - that may dissappoint your child of course.

Horsegirl1 · 09/11/2016 20:38

YANBU they are a pain in my fat arse. URGHHHHH I hate them

HearTheThunderRoar · 09/11/2016 20:44

YANBU, 5 is far too young imo for a pool party.

We had a pool party for DD 7th, however it was also joint party with another girl who was turning 8, however my DD was the youngest in her year. And we knew that the invitees could swim etc and our local pool was heavily lifeguarded.

HerRoyalNotness · 09/11/2016 20:45

I don't know why the pool don't supply a couple of lifeguards as part of the cost?

We had an expat BBQ here recently, can't remember what the gathering was for, but the hosts who had a backyard pool provided a life guard so the adults could all chat and drink relax, it was a great idea

itsmine · 09/11/2016 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ankleswingers · 09/11/2016 20:50

Oh lord, I wouldn't like that either op. I totally see where you're coming from.

Personally I would send my DH in the pool instead. I would be one of the on-lookers from the sidelines

specialsubject · 09/11/2016 20:57

t shirt and boardies are a good idea - no kid can pull those off as a big joke.

but a pool full of excited five year olds? Eewwww....

A7mint · 09/11/2016 21:11

Swimming parties are a 'dad' job around this way for exactly the reasons you state OP!

SpookyMooky · 09/11/2016 21:17

HerRoyal they do, but under 8s generally need to be accompanied in the water with a generous adult:child ratio as well. Lifeguard is great of course, but not enough if you have a lot of nonswimmers out of their depth.

Original poster

ridingsixwhitehorses · 09/11/2016 21:26

Er, who said I declined it? I just said I am irritated by it.

OP posts:

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/11/2016 22:33

Oh my lord - yanbu

Any party that necessitates a spray tan and a shave is not acceptable

No - just no

OlennasWimple · 09/11/2016 22:36

Urgh!

MrsMook · 09/11/2016 22:44

An older relative had a swimming party recently. We all enjoyed it. DS (5) asked if he could have one but I told him that he needs to be 9 first (older end of school year so at 8, most would still be 7) because of the logistics of ratios and non-swimmers. Having the majority of guests under 8 is a lot more bother.

Get your cossie on. (In the nicest possible way) no one else is bothered by what you look like in it or how hairy you are.

FRETGNIKCUF · 09/11/2016 23:04

I agree OP whether I was a teeny size 8 or post baby size cough ahem cough I never EVER went to swimming parties with my kids.

Fuck off. No.

Hobbitfeet32 · 09/11/2016 23:08

And we wonder why our children grow up with body confidence issues.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/11/2016 23:25

I'm not overly bothered about people seeing me in a pool but 8 when they can hopefully swim (not to mention be tall enough to stand up in some of a pool) is a much better age than 5, when some will still not be at all confident.

bumsexatthebingo · 09/11/2016 23:28

They don't bother me but I don't really mind how I look in a cossie. Having to shave my legs is a bit of a pain though if it's winter and I wasn't otherwise going to bother.
People who don't like it - do you not go swimming with your kids at other times in public pools?

MrsRhettButler · 09/11/2016 23:29

I recently did a joint one for my 11 and 5yo party, (small pool for 5 yo, large pool for 11yo) it went really well and the kids all loved it.
The ratio in the little pool was 3 to 1 so I covered that with family members, the older ones didn't need adults so that was great, the pool had at least 4 lifeguards on duty and it was all very laid back.
I disagree 5 is too young, the small pool is shallow enough (at one end at least) for non swimmers to splash and play with inflatables.
The kids all had a great time and said it was the best party ever.

SeaLionsOnMyShirt · 09/11/2016 23:40

Where on earth do you all live that you can do pool parties for 5 year olds?! Or even 7-8 year olds?

Btw OP, YANBU.

StarBears · 09/11/2016 23:56

It would be a no from me. Would never want to be in a cossie in front of other school parents. It's like being in your underwear! No just no.

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