AIBU to insist that a new laptop for child bought at this time of year should wait for Christmas?

[user1478597636]

My DH is a bit of a technology fiend and has agreed with DS2 (aged 11)that he (DS) needs a new laptop as his isn't working well. I agreed that this would make a very nice Xmas present but they both felt that this could be used prior to Santa's special time and there is considerable dissent.
It seems to me that DS should wait. I feel that if he gets it too soon I will end up trying fill the present gap come December. To be clear we have other computers in the house and his twin brother is happy to wait. DH has apologised and feels bad for creating the situation (but still feels that DS could have it early). AIBU?

If there are other computers in the house then there is no need for him to have it early. He can wait until Christmas it's not that far off. Your DH is being ub for telling him that he could have it now.

I agree with you.
Although we did buy DD a laptop 3 weeks ago! She needed it for university and unfortunately it was needed immediately. Her old laptop was too old and slow to run required software. We have told her it is an early Christmas present.

I would offer him to have it as an early Christmas present but just get a couple of stocking fillers on Christmas day.
This is just too much aggro over a laptop.

Depends. Is the laptop "just a toy" or does he need it for school work as well?

If you are worried about the present gap, then just....don't be. Give him a stocking on the day (if that's what everyone else gets) bur no big present. He will either be fine with that, or he will feel disappointed, and thus learn a valuable lesson about getting things early. So don't be a martyr about managing his disappointment, or feeling that you have to find him another present.

YANBU :)

one of my aunts used to only buy big presents for Christmas and birthdays. Throughout the year, she really wouldn't buy anything for my cousins because she felt it was nicer for them to have lots to open at Christmas. Plus, they didn't grow up thinking they would get whatever they wanted at the drop of a hat!

There is no point waiting for a particular day, for something he both needs, and would know he's getting as everyone has agreed before hand. It's not a surprise, it's just harming him in the run up.

YANBU

I think it's ridiculous to get a 'big' present such as a laptop five weeks before Christmas.

Hellsbells case is different, her DD needed a specific software for her uni course. But for an 11 yo? When there are other computers in the house? Batshit! Waiting a bit won't kill him!

My DD had a laptop for Christmas last year. I tend to think that expensive technology is a great Christmas or birthday present, but sometimes technology needs replacing earlier than the date.

"It's not a surprise, it's just harming him in the run up."

There's a war on in Syria, y'know....

YANBU.

An 11 year old is old enough to understand why he hasn't got 'as many' presents on Christmas day if he chooses to have the laptop early.

Agree with a PP that it's not up to you to manage his potential disappointmentioned - he makes his choice and he sees the results.

I'm with you. DS(11) needs a new tablet. Its currently in my wardrobe waiting to be wrapped for Christmas, along with some extras for it (keyboard case, memory card etc, Google play card etc).

I can't believe an 11 year old 'needs' a new laptop when there are other computers in the house he can use.

If it was me I would either make him wait until Xmas or, if you think he's mature enough, let him have his Xmas present early on the understanding that he only gets small/token gifts on the day.

We've quite often got things for DD when she needed them (or in the case of her new iphone, shortly after the brexit vote because it was so obvious the prices would be raised before xmas and whats the point of having it sat in a box?). And I've just bought her things like a nice coat and other smart clothes which might otherwise have been an xmas present but she needs them now for uni interviews. So I don't feel I need to get her a big xmas pressie.

For the laptop - I could go either way on that. If it would genuinely help with schoolwork I'd give it now, if it was for play then might wait.

I'm even meaner than that, I made one of mine wait for a laptop in the New Year sales last year! She knew it was on its way, had lots of other presents (a few from us, mostly from others) and it was fine. She was 10, mature enough to know it's better to get a twice as good one for the same money rather than buy at peak price.

At 11 I would tell him if he has it now there won't be extra presents to fill the 'present gap'

I wouldn't leave it sitting in a cupboard for an arbitrary special day

But I also wouldn't feel obliged to buy more gifts

If it were the only laptop / computer he had access to at home then I'd say give it to him now.

As he has easy access to other computers which run fine for homework then I'd make him wait for the few weeks till Christmas.

Thanks for your comments! I tend to be a push over for some things but I am a bit of "Present Police-ish" about Birthdays and Christmas. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I would get it before Xmas and give him the choice of having it on Christmas day, or way, on the understanding that it was his main present and he would only be getting smaller gifts on the day if he went with an early opening.