Is this possible? Having a baby in a one bed flat

[BoredOfWaiting]

DH and I live in central London. We have a very good deal on rent in zone two and have a beautiful one bed flat and we have a secure tenancy. We couldn't afford to rent a two bed flat in this area we would have to move much further out which neither of us really want to do. If we were to move further out we would look at buying somewhere in a cheaper area which we could do but probably not for another couple of years as we have more saving to do.

We really want to start trying for a baby. Do you think it would be madness to have a baby in a one bed flat?

The layout is this:
Small hallway
Huge front room we currently have a sofa bed in the corner here as well as a desk and everything else
Decent sized kitchen with dining table
Small bathroom
Small bedroom (not big enough for cot)

Would appreciate any advice!

But how are you going to save when you have the huge extra expense of either no salary or high childcare?

It doesn't make any sense. Wait a couple of years and save like mad first.

Thank you so much for all your responses I really appreciate it and feel overall more positive about things! To answer some questions:

We don't have any outdoor space but there are parks nearby.
Our flat is on the 3rd floor so there would be flights of stairs to negotiate.
We could (at a huge push) get the cot in our bedroom if we move out some furniture but the wardrobes are built in and really the majority of space is taken up by the bed. It's just do-able though.

Our tenancy is secure for as long as we want it and the rent is less than half of market value through a special scheme we were lucky enough to be able to take advantage of so obviously it is a huge benefit to us.

We have an airing cupboard type space that's full of junk and it's an old property with high ceilings and some big cupboards that you need a stepladder to access which are also filled with junk. I think I need to do a big clear out and sell a load of stuff and just generally get more organised then I think we could do it. I'm still worried about the bedroom though could we put the cot in the front room and sleep in separate rooms?

I wouldn't plan to personally.

Imperial We are not really in a position to wait two years so that's why we both want to go for it now.

Yeah, go for it! Give the baby the bedroom as it grows, maybe sling a single bed in there too. Make the living room your bedroom too. Sleeping with a newborn is often a flexible arrangement if they're bad sleepers.

We had a baby in an 1 bed flat for 8 months (then we moved to a completely different area)

The bedroom was pretty small, just wide enough for the bed +cot right beside it against the wall. Apart from the downside of having to crawl over the bed to get in it, it worked really well. When the baby woke up in the night I could lift her out of the cot without getting out of bed. We usually co-slept for some of the night.

For the first 3 months she slept in the cot part of the pram. We didn't buy a moses basket. I bought the pram second hand for £25, bought a mattress for it for the same price. We didn't use it much until we had moved out of the flat though - the stairs were too tricky. I usually carried her in a sling instead. And we had a pulley in the kitchen for drying clothes on.

Would a queen size bed enable you to fit a cot in beside your bed perhaps?

Partly that's why we went ahead. I was younger but in a secure job; DH was older - early 40s when ds1 arrived. We couldn't afford to wait as 40 was old enough for a first time dad. All in all I have no big regrets about having the children when we did.

I think NHS recommends that you sleep in the same room for the first 6 months as this greatly reduces the risk of SIDS. So this is something you should think about when looking at your room layout.

Totally fine! Get one of those extra small cots in your bedroom at first so you don't need to upset the living room set up for as long as possible. You will want your separate living space at times.

Private outside space in central London is irrelevant. You want lovely parks to take long walks around - London parks are perfect for babies and toddlers.

A YoYo pushchair weighs almost nothing - once baby is big enough, that would be easy to carry up the stairs.

Go for it - your set up is fine.

This has worked totally great for us, DS is now 2.5 and still in and I love it. Having a baby in 4 months and he'll be in too... Sometimes needs must so make the best of it. We have a sofa bed in the living room for extra sleeping space if needed.

No way were we waiting until we had the space before having kids, because who knows how long that would take.

At what age do you think it will become unworkable? Age 3? Age 5?

Between now and then, will you be able to improve your financial situation so that you can afford a 2-bed?

You'll have taken time off for maternity leave, and after that you'll either have to cut back on working or pay for childcare or a bit of both.

I live in a one bed with DD. We coslept in the same room until she was five and now she has the bedroom and I have a futon in the living room. This arrangement has worked for the last seven, nearly eight years. The bedroom was big enough for a bed and a cot, then junior bed initially though.

Yes, it is idiocy to deliberately bring a baby into a one bedroom flat. Save up or move somewhere where you will have room to start a family. If you have a baby now, and hope to continue to save up for a deposit, you're deluded.

How old are you both now, OP?

If you have a home in an area you like at half market rent, I can understand why you wouldn't want to give it up.

If it was me, I would get a lightweight buggy or a sling to make it easier to get ton the third floor; buy a small crib rather than a full sized cot for the first few months when baby needs to sleep with you in the bedroom; when baby needs a larger sleeping space and is on the move, I'd turn your bedroom into a nursery / playroom and create a sleeping space in the living room with your double bed and some kind of divider like Ikea Kallax which will also give you extra storage. You have your own space particularly in the evenings and so does the baby with the toys etc that go with her getting bigger!

Finally, I'd try to save the other half of the market rent that you're not paying so if you feel like the space is too small or would like another baby in a few years then you have something set aside so you can afford to do that.

Babetti We are saving a good amount each month at the moment and we are saving enough now to cover maternity leave should we be lucky enough that I do fall pregnant, so I would have enough to cover my maternity leave so we have factored that into savings. We could technically afford to move out now and buy somewhere larger but we will be in a better position of we save more money and can move to an area a bit less further out. Even factoring in baby costs and maternity leave we will be able to save. Plus DH's DM lives very nearby and would be a good support and help. If we move out now we won't have that.

Also we love our home and if we can do it for a couple of years with a baby we want to. It sounds as though a lot of you have managed it which is ace. I think with a bit of furniture rearranging and clearing out some cupboards plus a lightweight buggy it will be do-able.

It's me!

Yes we live in a one bed flat. It's fine.
Kids have bunk beds now but everyone usually sleeps in our bed anyway so they are slightly pointless. If we go away we have rented places with 2-3 bedrooms, everyone ends up in the same one.

Yes we have dinner parties. It's called an extendable table. Folds small to 4 when just us, expands to 8+ if needed. Kids eat at coffee table if lots of visitors. We have stools which open for storage. Daily they sit at the side with kids toys inside. When people over they get moved around as extra seating

We live in zone 1, there's loads of parks and outdoor space on our doorsteps. Tube, buses, overground or car take us to many other outdoor spaces. We have a patio area so some outside space.

It depends on what you do day to day. We travel a lot, work various places and so home is a base for us. We aren't at home 24/7. As babies and toddlers we often travelled all over and worked whilst travelling so they had various environments. Now school age, we are out at school and work large chunk of day. We travel to family abroad most school holidays so again we aren't in flat the whole long summer holidays for example

OP, what would you do about childcare? Would your MIL do this for nothing? Otherwise you do realise it's hundreds of pounds a week, don't you?

Hundreds of pounds per month, I mean!

Artandco

Great to hear from you especially since you've done it so successfully. I understand why you wouldn't want to leave zone 1.

Imperial Why the condescending attitude? Just because I'm deliberating over whether or not to remain in a one bedroom flat and have a family it doesn't mean I have no grasp of how the world works! I have friends and family members with babies I know what childcare costs but luckily MIL is retired and would do a fair bit for nothing but we would have childcare to cover the rest.

I would definitely go with the baby in your room in the first instance, for two reasons:

Firstly the baby will wake, several times, in the night to feed, for some time. The nearer you are to the baby, the quicker you will be able to get them out of the cot and fed, and at the end of their feed, the quicker you can get them back into bed. This means you and them are less likely to wake up fully, and both of you will get back to sleep quicker. Having a small baby in a different room sounds like a monumental faff to me. I know people do it, but it would have pushed me over the edge if I'd had to get up out of my room every time the baby woke.

Secondly, the SIDS advice is you should have the baby in the same room as you for the first six months.

People often incorrectly interpret this as you should be able to see/hear your baby for the first six months and so think they've got it covered if they have monitors. But that's not it.

The baby needs to be able to hear you are nearby when it's sleeping. IIRC, it's because the baby needs to be able to hear your breathing to help regulate their own breathing, and being able to regulate their breathing well helps protect against SIDS.

I'm in a one-bed flat with my DD... We've managed to fit a cot bed between my her and the wardrobe but I have to move it backwards and forwards depending on where I need to get to its perfectly possible! We don't use the bedroom except for sleeping so it doesn't matter that there's not a lot of room! If you've got a large living room you'll probably find you use that more, and you can have a changing station or whatever you want set up in the there. I just have a changing mat on the living room floor!

Also if you need extra storage then get some of the under-bed plastic storage boxes. They're great for baby clothes, either ones that don't fit yet, or ones you're not quite ready to let go of yet

If your bedroom is really super small then you can get slimline cots. Try measuring up your available space for a "maximum size" and then have a browse online!

If you're on the 3rd floor though you might want to invest in a sling

Is there space at the side of your bed for a small 3 sided cot?

I only discovered them for my second DC, it was the best thing, it gave me more sleep!

With my first, he was in a crib by the bed until DH got over his fear of squishing the baby and let him into bed with us. When he was in the crib, it was a pain to get up, lift the baby out, feed sitting up, put the baby back. DS didn't really want to go back in the crib, he wanted to be next to me, so a lot of sleep time was wasted trying to settle him.

A 3 sided cot was the perfect way to sleep close together without the baby actually being in the bed necessarily, and it's great if you don't have much room.

If you plan to breastfeed you may find the most comfortable way to do this at night is lying down. Then, when the baby wakes, you can slide him.her over to you, feed lying down, let the baby drift off to sleep while on the boob then slide the baby back into the cot, hopefully without disturbing her/him enough to wake them up.

When DD was born we got this 3 sided cot from Fabimax on the recommendation of several MNetters.

You could only get them imported from Germany then (or splash out on a really expensive UK version), but just 4 years later I see lots of companies doing similar designs in the UK now and the prices seem to be very reasonable.

But - this style is only crib size. They're suitable for about 5 months I think?

We did it until our DD was 3. Absolutely no issue but we had a sofa bed as well as double bed in bedroom. We mostly co-slept in same bed though had toddler bed in our bedroom. It was nice having a sofabed for a bit more flexibility (and when DH's snoring drove me mad).

The main issue was when ILs seemed to think it was completely reasonable to come and stay with us for several days at a time. Even one night wasn't reasonable IMO!

We moved from zone 2 to a house in zone 5 when she was 3 and I was pregnant again.

Sofa bed in lounge, that is.