You've got to fight for your grandparent's attention now!

[judybloomno5]

Is what my SIL said to her 5 year old DD in front of everyone when we took our 4 week old DS to a family party recently. DD was quite chilled about having DS around and looked at her mum puzzled when she said this.

AIBU this is a bit strange to say?

I would say it's a perfectly innocuous throwaway comment. Of course a tiny baby is going to get most of the attention for a little while.

Errm no?

It was just a silly little comment!

When my DS2 was born, my ex FIL said to my DS1

"He's an ugly little bugger isn't he?"

Now that was a strange thing to say to a child

Still funny though and fairly true at the time

I think it's an awful thing to say.
Lots of throwaway comments can be very hurtful and can leave a lasting impression on people - particularly young children.

It's a reflection of how your SiL feels.

Daft comment, she's very insecure, you have to ignore it and let her sort it out.

I know that feeling one Christmas I got no present from my Granddad and he gave my cousin a box of chocolates. You would be surprised with the rivalry in some families there all jealous and scornful now. They expected me to live in a shoe box and when they come to visit they run it down. I wouldn't live in a Town house my uncle said out loud. I should have said you have no kids to fill it with so shut your mouth. Some people are left scarred by their family's.

She probably meant you have to up your game a new born is on the block. I wouldn't look to much into it.

No. it's an expression. A perfectly normal one in those circs.

I think it depends how she said it. Only you know whether it was said in a jokey of a jealous way.

Or

I just thought it might encourage resentfulness when it was clear that her DD was happy and hadn't been feeling jealous

I agree that it depends on how it was said. If it was in an upbeat, jokey way, then that's fine, but if she was serious, then it's an odd thing to say

YANBU OP. Definitely a bit off. Most people would say 'you've got a new little cousin to play with'. Maybe it was a hint to her parents that her DD is still their DGD as well.

If she is otherwise fine with you, then I would just file it away and continue as normal.

Things said by an adult in a jokey way, are not necessarily received by a child in the same jokey way.
It's just such an unnecessary thing to say, I cannot understand why anyone would think it was appropriate.
Many adults don't like people making comments that devalue them but are dismissed as jokes.

I think that's a weird thing to say to a 5 yo who is perfectly capable of understanding it and worrying about it.

What did the grandparents say? My parents would have been appalled.