to ask when you knew?

[malika54]

Just read a thread about weddings on here, and this made me think about relationships in general.
When did you know in your heart your relationship was over? Was it a last straw incident, or was it something bigger? Was it a single moment or a period of time?

One ex, when he told me I'd put on too much weight to be physically attractive anymore. Things hadn't been going well for a while, but that was the definitive moment - ironically I'd put on weight because of the anti-depressants that he'd encouraged me to start.

Another was when I asked him to stop when we were having sex. A few minutes later he carried on, then when I said to him I'd told him to stop, he sat and cried and I had to comfort him. I just thought 'you've just sexually assaulted me, I'm in a lot of pain, but it's ME who's having to comfort YOU.'

I married too young & for totally the wrong reasons, but was prepared to work at it to prove my parents were wrong when they told me he wasn't good enough for me.

I knew we didn't have a future together the week I had our second child.

Had to have a home birth due to a strike at the hospital (they were only accepting emergencies). In those days it wasn't that common for the dad to be present. It was a relatively quick, straightforward birth but he insisted on being at the business end rather than the gentle encouragement/back rubbing/hand holding sort of stuff. I don't remember him kissing or cuddling me afterwards, in fact he was generally an emotional cripple who didn't show affection at all.
FOUR DAYS after this, we moved house. He & his brother did it between them, but still expected me to help out and look after the new baby & DS1 who was a very active, noisy 2 yr old. I had to take both of them on the bus into town to hand in the keys of the old place. How I got home in one piece I'll never know. And I got home to find that he had decided to throw away a box of my books, many of which I was sentimentally attached to.

It was later that night, too tired to sleep, lying in bed hearing him snoring, that I realised we were too far apart & wanted different things in life.
We split up 12 months later.