Whole grapes are a choking hazard - right?!

[Cutthegrapes]

So, why do I find myself unwittingly engaged in a battle with one of the UK's largest pub and restaurant chains to get them to cut the grapes in a children's fruit salad? AIBU to think that it wouldn't be easier cut the grapes than perform the Heimlich on a preschooler in a restaurant?

If you're already thinking, 'Wait, this guy has literally just joined mumsnet to have a moan', then you're not far off. I've joined Mumsnet because I'm a concerned father and I'm not being taken seriously by Whitbread. I was just a concerned father when I raised this issue with Whitbread, following a meal in a Table Table restaurant. When they fobbed me off until their 'next menu review', but thanked me for raising a 'presentation' issue, I became an angry and concerned father. After my email to the CEO and Senior Management of Premier Inns and Restaurants went unanswered, I became a determined father. It's genuinely a life and death issue and it cannot be ignored because it's too much hassle to take a few extra seconds when preparing food for children.

RoSPA and the Child Accident Prevention Trust and may other charities have run campaigns encouraging parents to cut grapes before feeding them to children. Children have nearly died and children have actually died as a result of getting grapes lodged in their windpipes - just do a quick Google and it's not hard to see what can happen if you don't cut the grapes!

I know it sounds trivial, I know I probably sound histrionic, but frankly, it's a bigger issue than that and I cannot think of a reason why any food outlet could defend a decision to not cut the grapes in dishes specifically designed for children. Accidents do not wait for 'menu reviews'. AIBU to think that a responsible organisation might have jumped on the opportunity to do the right thing, simply ask their pubs and restaurants to cut the grapes and take advantage of the good publicity? I'm sure they're careful with nuts in their meals, so why be so irresponsible with grapes?

If you'd like to read my original post and copy of the letter to Whitbread's CEO, you can find them in the visitor posts on the 'Table Table Pub Restaurants' Facebook page. www.facebook.com/TableTable/posts/1164224453670659

AIBU? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Alex

You're completely out of order. Your child is your responsibility! If you are genuinely worried about your child choking to death on a whole grape, check their food before they start to eat it. Or better still why not ask the waiter before you order as to whether the food contains anything bigger than, say, a pea?

This is a typical example of poor parenting. It's always someone else's responsibility, isn't it...

Children have hot dogs at fayres. Its usually a one off. I have children in their twenties. They ate a hot dog as did i every now and again. It didnt kill us. [yet]

This thread has already shown that lots of people aren't aware of the choking risks that grapes can pose to small children. Therefore many good, responsible parents might not even know to ask or cut them up

Honestly, this isn't 'elf and safety gorn mad. It's just asking major businesses to consider making relatively small changes to help minimise risks.

I'm sorry OP but I think it is YOUR responsibility to check on what goes into your child's mouth. Honestly, this mentality that's it's always someone else's job really gets my goat.

You would be surprised Art they were a weekly occurrence when mine were at playgroup. I was that parent and opted out for my children.

People saying "My child bites a grape first", are you ensuring they bite lengthways? Half a grape with a circular plane can still choke as effectively as a whole grape.
Frankly no. While I have drummed into them to bite them side on and chew straight away, to sit down and concentrate when eating and to chew carefully. They are 16,12,5 and 4. They are not with me 24 hours a day so I can't ensure they are biting grapes side on anymore than I could ensure every grape they meet is sliced in half. I have to trust I've done my best. The same way I have to hope I've taught my 5 year old with a peanut allergy to ask if a food is safe before he eats it even if he has had that food before, to take a tiny bite of a new food first and wait to see how he feels and to not take off his allergy bracelet at school or at parties.

Cucumber should be served in sticks and not round slices
Well that makes no sense. Even if there was a mistake and it was meant only 4cm round ! slices not triangular sticks. That still doesn't make any sense. Hysteria plays a large part of this, yes dc die, but not allowing your dc to develop their eating skills is equally dangerous.

It didnt kill us. [yet] is a stupid argument ffs. I spent my toddler years bouncing around unrestrained on the back seat of cars. Didn't do me any harm. But plainly it did do harm to some people. My uncle rode a motorbike without a helmet as did his friends. Didn't do him any harm. Several of his friends got killed but that was their responsibility as adults etc etc.
Stupid argument.

What's the harm in trying to reduce the risk of children dying though? Of course it's parents' responsibility but if you want to reduce the risk of something it's best to try to reduce it in several different ways rather than relying on one person to always do something - people forget things, make mistakes, etc.

Scaredy
How does it make no sense?

To be clear, I am not remotely a risk-averse parent, have opted firmly in to 'risky play' at nursery (sounds dodgy but not!), baby led weaned and am happy to let children develop their chewing skills. Grapes (and those other foods) are different. Ask anyone who works in a paediatric emergency department.

Actually I'm hiding this now as it's descended into the usual nonsense. Good work OP. I hope one or two people have reassessed how or whether they cut grapes. I don't really care what anyone else does or doesn't do. I listened to the guy who taught pediatric first aid.

Why not concentrate on educating the parents then NoelHeadbands.

I'm sure more could be done on that one Notso, but something like this is a fairly quick and simple win in the meantime isn't it?

Ask anyone who works in a paediatric emergency department.
We'll never know, but My point is which came first the baby rice, stages of smoothness, lack of natural chewing and swallowing development or the grape choking. The majority of parents for over half a century have used the puree method. This could be a reason for it being the problem it clearly is.

Scaredy
How does it make no sense?
Well naturally round foods that are a similar size to the hole it's going down and a bit squishy I can understand. Hard angular food that isn't anyway near the same size as the hole it's going down I can't understand. I hope you understand that!

WLF46
Making children aware is of course the aim. But surprisingly enough children don't always do as they're told. I was decorating a birthday cake 20 years ago with sweets - I think it was a face - and my 8 year old daughter wanted a sweet. I said no but she snatched one and ran off and choked on it. It was horrible, she lost consciousness, wet herself and went blue. Luckily I'd done some first aid so I tried everything and it was also melting (unlike a grape ). We could hear the ambulance coming and as the paramedics arrived she hiccuped up some sweet. If it had been a grape or marble I don't know what would have happened. Because children aren't always obedient we all need to learn first aid and raise awareness as the OP is doing.

I guess that depends on what Whitbread actually do Noel.
Best case they could print a warning about grapes on the menu, repeat it verbally when fruit salad is ordered and suggest adults cut them which would spread awareness and they could train all their staff in first aid.
They could remove grapes from the menu and remove the grape risk completely.
They could pin the responsibility of cutting grapes on staff or their suppliers. If that was my job I wouldn't want that responsibility.

A one-year old I knew was severely brain-damaged by choking on a baked bean

A single baked bean? Are you sure? Unless they had an abnormally tiny throat or a specific medical issue I can't see how that is physically possible.

I am not sure if someone else has already mentioned this, but a child died at Pizza Hut choking on a whole grape only this/last year I think? And the result of this was that Pizza Hut then removed grapes from the salad bar. And is Pizza Hut not also owned by Whitbread? I know it definitely used to be. So the company should already have removed whole grapes from all their restaurants.

Re: Cucumber. At home I cut it into sticks for my 1 year old daughter, which is the right way but have learnt my lesson after giving her a circle or semi circle of cucumber from my plate when I was at a cafe. She chewed on it a bit (only has one tooth) and then started gagging as it had slid down. Luckily she managed to cough it up but for the same reasons as with grapes, I imagine trying to get a slippery bit of cucumber out, if it had properly lodged, would be difficult.

So a not fresh thin slice of cucumber is dangerous, but a thicker fresh firm slice is fine? Why don't they say that. It's a bit like the co-sleeping recommendations, the blanket just don't means many end up co sleeping dangerously and dc dying rather than educating us to reduce the risks.

Supermarkets and places where the grapes are bagged couldn't cut them up as they'd rot much faster and would be unsellable

It's because, in stick form, a baby/toddler can easily gum or bite it into tiny pieces. As a circle, a baby without teeth can't gum bits off, and because the slice of cucumber can bend, a folded bit could slide down their throat and become lodged. Or even a semicircle that wasn't flexible, would get stuck if swallowed too soon.

The important thing is to cut them lengthwise.

Start a petition on change.org - you will hit a wider audience then.

It's weird thinking, isn't it? Experts say that some relatively everyday thing is actually a risk, one which kills a certain number of children every year.

But rather than admit that life contains some risks, and it may be sensible to change some behaviours, some parents would rather indulge in magical thinking - oh, it's only Bad Parents whose children die. My superior weaning skills will magically protect my children. I can safely scream about elf & safety gorn mad and relish the thought of Bad Children choking to death. It's their parents' faults. To do anything would be to submit to Moral Decay.

But rather than admit that life contains some risks

Nobody is saying there is no risk from grapes. They are saying that it is the parents responsibility to keep that risk from happening, not everyone elses.

If parents hand whole grapes to children and they choke on them, whose fault is it?

No need for the silly blarney with capital letters for effect.